Excluded from family holiday

What industry are you in? Is sibling 3 a teacher so parents and sibling 2 see them in a good but low paid job?

i agree with this^
I would question this situation as calm as possible. No, it can’t be about money as they are paying for sibling 3 and helping them. So what it is about? Ask your parent this question and see what they say.

But surely people are entitled to decide who they go on holiday with? I love both my sisters, but I wouldn’t go on a family holiday that involved both of them, as the combination creates tensions.

But they don't have to treat them equally.
They're no longer children and as adults they will have their own unique relationships with them that should now be based on mutual care instead of the one way take that parent/child relationtionships are.

I feel for you OP, I really do, it’s very hurtful but I think you’re giving your other family members a free pass by just blaming sibling 2. It may have been their suggestion but the others have all gone along with it, including the parent hence the money.

Honestly, I’d have some pride, decline the money, and put some space between you all.

I don't understand why you would have wanted to go on a big holiday with someone you don't like or get on with. I would happily forego that nonsense.

Of course £500 is enough for a holiday! Am off to Bulgaria next month - £450 for 10 days. All inclusive and includes transfers.

Not sure why you are saying about not being paid, as going away with your family you would have the same problem of not being paid. I dont get paid as SEmployed, so either do or don't take a holiday - up to you.

But despite that - YANBU at all. Just plain nasty to not include you.

Why are they all dancing to one person's tune?

The reality is they don’t, as a family they’ve decided to go away and decided who they all want to go with. Unfortunately OP wasn’t on the guest list and while that’s disappointing for OP it’s one of those things.

My god posters are being awful to you OP. Of course parents don't "have to" invite you on holiday, but they really should treat their children fairly and your mum's not doing this.

If this was about your poor behaviour and your family were totally reasonable then you'd be able to discuss it with them respectfully and explain how upsetting it was for you. The fact you say this would blow it all up and possibly lead to mum cancelling it and blaming you suggests they're not being reasonable.

You are coming across angry, but it's impossible for posters to know if the background to all this shows you as toxic or your wealthy sibling. I would suggest you speak to. A neutral family member (cousin ?) for advice on next steps. I would want it registered at least with your mum that her behaviour is incredibly unfair.

One comment I would make however is that the way your present your poorer sibling as the forever student does sound quite mean and judgemental. Might be worth reflecting on whether you've got that dynamic right or not.

Good luck

We've no idea what each sibling is doing for the parents disclosed or not. I use to do my grandads shopping/cleaning and cooking 3x a week I was given the most money at Christmas nobody else did anything 🤷‍♀️

Why does this 1 person seem to have so much control over everyone?

And yet they're giving 3000 to the younger sibling for this holiday. Deeds speak louder than words. Personally I'd be inclined to tell them where to stick their 500, but OP may not be in a position to easily do that. Either way, the parent's behaved in a truly shitty way.

And if those 4 said no that 1 would be overruled.

Nobody has fought them on this or pushed for your invite OP- which means they are all in agreement.

I’m sorry this has happened, if you were given the £500 would you have a weekend break?
Seems some family is not wanting you around

My mum recently went on holiday with my sister. They have a closer bond than I do as sis is there for her a lot (and also has no children) whereas I have ND DC.
Was I jealous? Yes, a little but I knew that was unreasonable, given the situation.
I couldn't have gone/Mum isn't close to her gc (she'd say that was my fault but there are extenuating circumstances). Certainly, any break with me wouldn't be the break she wanted so the bigger me thinks I should be indebted to my sibling for being there for our mum, not envious of their relationship.
As it stands, she has always made it clear she is closer to that sibling. It is how it turned out. They never left the home town.
I have accepted I am neither of my divorced parents' "favourite".
I know they love me in their own way.
I can't change it.
What I can do is decide how affected I'll let myself be by it and, as a pp said upthread, I don't feel as much guilt for not being able to support them when I have been unsupported for much of my life (and atm I am unable to because of my own caring responsibilities).
To what do we owe each other?
Each will have their own story, backstory, wants and needs.
All you can do is try to be the best person you can be and be kind to yourself, and true to yourself.
I am excluded myself from one part of the family's events and no one has ever said how unfair or unkind that is. It is what it is and accepted by all. Therefore I don't pay it any mind anymore - if I'm unwanted, I have to think it's their loss.
I could mope or moan or give myself a hard time for being thought less of or being the "problem child" (and self-awareness does mean I know their view will invariably differ from my own) but there's zero point doing that to myself.

I would say that the fact three people in your family do not want to go on holiday with you is very telling and that there is more to this story.

Are you possibly reading too deeply into things?! Op has said I get on well with their spouse, my other sibling and their partner and my parent.