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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

He has taken my spot!!

65 replies

feuergeist · 22/08/2024 14:08

Lighthearted (although I will accept calls of LTB)

Long story short, we have a four seater corner sofa and a smaller matching two seater in our living room. For the last however many years we have had these, my husband has always been lying across the large one, stretched out across the whole thing, with me often sitting at the far end of it. Lately, i have made myself a lovely cozy space on the two seater by myself. Sat there for a few days peacefully, with one of the two coffee tables pulled up, always nice and cozy, clean and comfortable just for me. Now he has claimed that spot. I am livid. Not once in the 6-8 years we have had these sofas has he chosen that spot. The sofa feels almost new with the cushions still perfect. Have asked him why he is all of a sudden sitting there and told him I really want that space for me now, but no result.

Question is, AIBU to be so annoyed about it or do i have a point? I am silently seething as a talk about it hasn't helped. In the grand design of it, it's just a spot to sit in the living room, but come on!! And please, cheer me up with your stories of irrelevant things that drove you up the walls

OP posts:
edwinbear · 22/08/2024 15:14

If I leave my WFH chair for even one second, I have to place belongings on it to stop the cat claiming it. A bit like leaving your book on a sun lounger. Yesterday, she completely ignored the protocol and I had to spend the afternoon on a toddler chair.

He has taken my spot!!
InMySpareTime · 22/08/2024 15:05

Make two drinks, bring yours through and let him know his is in the kitchen.
When he gets up for it, bagsy your spot back.

Nanny0gg · 22/08/2024 14:59

feuergeist · 22/08/2024 14:34

Thanks for your responses so far. I notice a trend - maybe my husband was a cat in his former life...

I have thrown him quite a few dirty looks since posting but he is oblivious. Once i am finished with my work, I'll consider making a new cozy spot or alternatively just push him off of 'my' sofa.

The minute he gets up, move over

TheSandgroper · 22/08/2024 14:55

Is he prone to marking spots like a tomcat? If so, I would be having strong words. So unattractive.

Is this a new thing? Fuck that. Send him back to where he came from - his own seat.

Happiestwhen · 22/08/2024 14:53

How very dare he! That was your spot, he never offered you his and now he's stolen yours because it's better than his. Maddening. You'll just have to get there before him.

LoseMeLikeAnArrow · 22/08/2024 14:53

Perhaps he pissed himself on the bigger couch. I'd check the cushions before you claim it.

Otherwise, clean the cushions on the big sofa, put a beautiful throw or comfy blanket over it, reclaim your coffee table, have candles, a box of chocolates and a stash of wine there and even some crisps and nuts. He will be fuming 🤣

HealthyLiquorice · 22/08/2024 14:46

My husband did very similar. We used to watch TV together after putting the kids to bed. Suddenly he starts sitting where I normally sit. At first he would get up and say, here's your seat back. Then he stopped doing that, and I would perch in his 'spot' for a bit, but it would feel so weird and uncomfortable to me, I ended up just heading to bed to read my book. Maybe I am looking too deep into it, but to me it was him saying - I know its your spot, but I want it now, I don't care if it makes you uncomfortable, my comfort is more important than yours. That's how it made me feel anyway.

Penguinfeet24 · 22/08/2024 14:36

I'd just tell my husband to get out of my spot, end of story.

BunfightBetty · 22/08/2024 14:35

Nip into his previously favoured space, stretch out and keep remarking how comfy it is, how wonderful it is to have so much space to stretch out, how grateful you are he no longer sits in it, etc, etc.

sunsetsandboardwalks · 22/08/2024 14:35

Tell him to shift his arse back to his own spot.

feuergeist · 22/08/2024 14:34

Thanks for your responses so far. I notice a trend - maybe my husband was a cat in his former life...

I have thrown him quite a few dirty looks since posting but he is oblivious. Once i am finished with my work, I'll consider making a new cozy spot or alternatively just push him off of 'my' sofa.

OP posts:
Ezekiela · 22/08/2024 14:28

My boy cat also does this. His sister will choose a new spot and gets to enjoy it for two or three days, then suddenly he starts occupying it.

It's male dominance / marking his territory and I wouldn't put up with it.

Have asked him why he is all of a sudden sitting there and told him I really want that space for me now, but no result.

Don't let this go. Force him to explain himself.

ShinySteel · 22/08/2024 14:20

What a bastard. LTB is the only answer.

BeeCucumber · 22/08/2024 14:11

Make yourself another cosy spot. He can’t sit in both of them at the same time - leaving one for you. I would also put cayenne pepper in his boxers.

TomeTome · 22/08/2024 14:09

My cat does this. No sardines and a hard stare