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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

He has taken my spot!!

65 replies

feuergeist · 22/08/2024 14:08

Lighthearted (although I will accept calls of LTB)

Long story short, we have a four seater corner sofa and a smaller matching two seater in our living room. For the last however many years we have had these, my husband has always been lying across the large one, stretched out across the whole thing, with me often sitting at the far end of it. Lately, i have made myself a lovely cozy space on the two seater by myself. Sat there for a few days peacefully, with one of the two coffee tables pulled up, always nice and cozy, clean and comfortable just for me. Now he has claimed that spot. I am livid. Not once in the 6-8 years we have had these sofas has he chosen that spot. The sofa feels almost new with the cushions still perfect. Have asked him why he is all of a sudden sitting there and told him I really want that space for me now, but no result.

Question is, AIBU to be so annoyed about it or do i have a point? I am silently seething as a talk about it hasn't helped. In the grand design of it, it's just a spot to sit in the living room, but come on!! And please, cheer me up with your stories of irrelevant things that drove you up the walls

OP posts:
anyolddinosaur · 23/08/2024 08:37

You have to watch Big Bang Theory, with your husband. He will then start calling you Sheldon.

Perhaps he wanted you to sit on him?

EnjoyingTheSilence · 23/08/2024 08:22

We all have our own Sheldon spot in our house (4 of us)

Your dh was def being a Tom cat, whether he knows it or not. Well done you got standing up to him!

Americano75 · 23/08/2024 08:10

feuergeist · 23/08/2024 07:58

I have never watched it. Maybe I should - it appears that it may be relevant for me 😅

The older I get, the more I sympathise with Sheldon.

feuergeist · 23/08/2024 07:58

Americano75 · 22/08/2024 17:15

Weirdly, I knew it was a couch and not a parking post, but then I watch a lot of Big Bang Theory so....

I have never watched it. Maybe I should - it appears that it may be relevant for me 😅

OP posts:
SprigatitoYouAndIKnow · 22/08/2024 17:22

You clearly need a water pistol to show him who is the sofa boss. Every time he nabs your spot, a quick squirt should help him understand you are displeased. That or run at him shouting pspspspsps like I do when a cat looks to be settling I to my flower beds to leave a gift.

Americano75 · 22/08/2024 17:15

Weirdly, I knew it was a couch and not a parking post, but then I watch a lot of Big Bang Theory so....

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 22/08/2024 16:56

feuergeist · 22/08/2024 16:13

Thanks so much for everybody's votes. Happy to see that I am not being unreasonable.

So here is to the (not so) thrilling conclusion. He has come back and commented rather sullenly on how I have 'taken his space'. This obviously triggered 'the talk' about said space.

I tried to get to the bottom as to why he has just started using it. His response was 'dont you sometimes just want to move to a different space?' When I pointed out that he hasn't moved his arse for the last 8 years, so why now that I have claimed this space, he said he had no idea why (maybe it is some subconscious tomcat dominance issue as PP have suggested - I find that rather likely)

As I am a big fan of setting accurate expectations, I have told him that I am not happy with him having claimed this spot now that I have made myself at home there and told him that as long as I am in the living room, I expect this spot to be mine. I will make him move, should he be 'there first' and that I claim this spot from now until the end of time (including the blanket, pillows and cushions I have set up here)! Let's see how long this lasts. If there is a big massive blowout tomorrow because he has forgotten my totally reasonable demands, I'll let you all know.

For now, I am quite happily installed with my laptop, phone, ice cold drink, fresh fruit salad and breadsticks - clearly living the life! Thanks again for keeping me company through this! 😄

I love you, @feuergeist! You are my new heroine.

Augustisnearlydonesogoodbyesun · 22/08/2024 16:53

Parking threads demand one.. Even the parking of bums.

Augustisnearlydonesogoodbyesun · 22/08/2024 16:53

Why hasn't anyone insisted on a diagram yet???

GeorgesMarvelousCalpol · 22/08/2024 16:50

subconscious tomcat dominance issue as PP have suggested
This is absolutely the reason, and that's why he can't explain himself.

Skyrainlight · 22/08/2024 16:49

I'd tell him to move out of my spot. He sounds weirdly territorial, does he always try to take what is yours?

Clownwithafrown · 22/08/2024 16:33

I am irrationally irritated on your behalf OP, the fucking cheek of him! Glad you have reclaimed your spot and made your boundaries clear on its future use. I hope for both our sakes he sticks to the rules, you because you deserve a comfy spot of your own and me because I fear I may blow a gasket if you have to post again to say he's nicked your sofa, although I am very stressed atm so accept that may be disproportionate Blush

SpringboksSocks · 22/08/2024 16:21

I had to re-read the op to see whether we were talking about a man or a cat.

feuergeist · 22/08/2024 16:17

PfishFood · 22/08/2024 16:05

PS YABVVVU to make it sound like this was a parking thread...!

Oh my goodness, while I am obsessively following each and every parking thread on here - it honestly didn't occur to me that my title could be misleading. My sincere apologies!!

OP posts:
feuergeist · 22/08/2024 16:13

Thanks so much for everybody's votes. Happy to see that I am not being unreasonable.

So here is to the (not so) thrilling conclusion. He has come back and commented rather sullenly on how I have 'taken his space'. This obviously triggered 'the talk' about said space.

I tried to get to the bottom as to why he has just started using it. His response was 'dont you sometimes just want to move to a different space?' When I pointed out that he hasn't moved his arse for the last 8 years, so why now that I have claimed this space, he said he had no idea why (maybe it is some subconscious tomcat dominance issue as PP have suggested - I find that rather likely)

As I am a big fan of setting accurate expectations, I have told him that I am not happy with him having claimed this spot now that I have made myself at home there and told him that as long as I am in the living room, I expect this spot to be mine. I will make him move, should he be 'there first' and that I claim this spot from now until the end of time (including the blanket, pillows and cushions I have set up here)! Let's see how long this lasts. If there is a big massive blowout tomorrow because he has forgotten my totally reasonable demands, I'll let you all know.

For now, I am quite happily installed with my laptop, phone, ice cold drink, fresh fruit salad and breadsticks - clearly living the life! Thanks again for keeping me company through this! 😄

OP posts:
GeorgesMarvelousCalpol · 22/08/2024 16:10

If he does it again I'd ask him is this his way of pissing to mark his territory? The cheek of him!
Glad you're back in your rightful spot 😁

PfishFood · 22/08/2024 16:05

PS YABVVVU to make it sound like this was a parking thread...!

PfishFood · 22/08/2024 16:05

edwinbear · 22/08/2024 15:14

If I leave my WFH chair for even one second, I have to place belongings on it to stop the cat claiming it. A bit like leaving your book on a sun lounger. Yesterday, she completely ignored the protocol and I had to spend the afternoon on a toddler chair.

I am glad I'm not the only one that does this!

Make like a cat OP - wait for him to go to the loo, then pounce on your pre-warmed seat!

lto2019 · 22/08/2024 15:41

Has he said why he has started to do it when he has previously stretched out on the other sofa? I would be pissed off because it looks like he was happy for you to be perched on the end and now you have made yourself cosy he has wanted it for himself. I would make myself cosy on the big sofa and he even so much as looks in that direction I would say pick a fucking spot and stay in.

DefyingGravitas · 22/08/2024 15:39

harriethoyle · 22/08/2024 15:32

This is like the sofa equivalent of a live parking thread and I am here for it... I hope you don't need a pee @feuergeist so you can settle in for the long haul. Can you send him out somewhere if you do need a pee, so you've time without him nicking the spot back?!

She needs to get a rugby team to move him!

feuergeist · 22/08/2024 15:35

harriethoyle · 22/08/2024 15:32

This is like the sofa equivalent of a live parking thread and I am here for it... I hope you don't need a pee @feuergeist so you can settle in for the long haul. Can you send him out somewhere if you do need a pee, so you've time without him nicking the spot back?!

I appreciate the forethought. I quite literally ran upstairs to pee, change and got settled in.

OP posts:
harriethoyle · 22/08/2024 15:32

This is like the sofa equivalent of a live parking thread and I am here for it... I hope you don't need a pee @feuergeist so you can settle in for the long haul. Can you send him out somewhere if you do need a pee, so you've time without him nicking the spot back?!

NCManager · 22/08/2024 15:29

Sit on the back of the sofa and swat him on the face / miaow in his ear

feuergeist · 22/08/2024 15:21

Update!! he has just gotten up to get himself something. Don't care what it is - I am reclaiming my spot!!

OP posts:
feuergeist · 22/08/2024 15:19

InMySpareTime · 22/08/2024 15:05

Make two drinks, bring yours through and let him know his is in the kitchen.
When he gets up for it, bagsy your spot back.

Good shoutout - I had that idea yesterday when he asked for fried chicken. Drove out to our local and they were shut as they are on holiday. Had big plans of just putting his food at his old spot. As that didn't work out, I just made a big deal of reclaiming my spot until he moved (rather begrudgingly, i might add).

No possibility of getting there before him. I like my 8 hours and he is an insomniac... 😅

OP posts: