Huge row with DH over food safety - who is BU?

I don't think it is to do with food safety, it is to do with his awful behaviour - such a strop-master, he. Nip it in the bud, it will only deteriorate from this moment, if not nipped in the bud. HE did not put it in the fridge and he strops and cancels dinner and blames it on you???? (Indirectly blames)

I wouldn't serve it to guests either, or elderly vulnerable people. OP's ILs are not elderly but she has mentioned a health condition her FIL has, so that would make me a bit more cautious. They are not, though, from the sound of it, frail people struggling with multiple chronic health issues and with weakened immune systems.

Storm in a casserole dish. I’d have eaten it. Husband popping into kitchen constantly and being annoying would have driven me up the wall though

Well, millions of people do it all the time and survive without any kind of repercussions.

Remember, official food advice always has to err on the side of caution, just like medical websites will tell you to see a GP just in case, because they don't want to be held responsible for someone getting sick.

It's the facts which matter here. The temperature range between 8-63C is known as the danger zone, because at this range, bacteria in the food (which escaped the original heating or came from the foil) can reproduce and become sufficiently numerous to cause food poisoning. Which can be very unpleasant and even fatal. The fact that you might have got away with this in the past, or you're still working full time in your 60s is irrelevant. The advice is there to minimise the risk of something going wrong. this doesn't mean that not following the advice will certainly have a bad outcome. Nor does it mean that following the guidance prevents anything bad happening. It's about, to repeat, minimisng the risks. Where food is cooked and won't be eaten until later, it should be split into smaller portions and cooled as fast as possible, e.g. in a sink of cold water/ice, so it's cool enough to go in the fridge within 2 hours. This is what the Food Standards Agency says and it's advice that people who takes their responsibility for their and other people's health, follow.

I heartily agree. What nonsense, how wasteful, that you would discard the food.

Also your DH should lay off the nagging.

I suspect the real issue was how tense both of you were about having them over. Ask them back and be grown ups FGS

I'd have eaten it but I've a cast iron stomach. Not sure if I'd serve it to guests though, especially elderly vulnerable.

You both sound a pair of drama llamas with this fuss over having people to dinner.🤷‍♀️

I must admit I routinely eat food left out covered all night but we're plant based and I heat it ferociously the next day. I'd NEVER serve it to a guest though.

This was my reaction. I’ve learned from this thread that I’m extremely relaxed about food being left out 😂 That said, I do live in a freezing Victorian house in Scotland so there is no risk of the kitchen ever being warm…

I would make it abundantly clear to him now that I was never, ever cooking for
'his' guests again and that if he wanted his parents or friends over then he was doing the cooking.

He was very unreasonable for canceling and citing argument as a reason. He was also very wrong about meat dish left overnight.
However it wasn’t obvious if you left him specific instructions plus it’s easy to forget when you were out of the kitchen even after you been cooking. It happened at ours a few times. The only way I would trust that my DH would remember in this situation if he stayed in the kitchen doing something.

Why was he pestering you while you were cooking? He could have helped you or could have done something else. It’s like he was annoyed that his parents were coming or that you would take all brownie points by your cooking or he didn’t like you being focused on something else instead of him?
His behaviour was so childish from start to finish.

I think sometimes "overnight" seems like a huge unknowable amount of time, psychologically, but if someone cooked something at 10am, intended to put it in the fridge at 12 noon, forgot for a bit and instead put it in the fridge at 7pm, then that would seem more acceptable than this magical concept of "overnight". But it's exactly the same amount of time. I'd still have eaten it - but I also think your DH was still being both incompetent and rude.

Well, moist heat at 121C sterilises in 20 minutes, so my guess is zero
An autoclave also increases the pressure but we have a lot of data about various approaches to sterilization with regard to time and temperature. I would regard something that was in an oven for a few hours at standard cooking temperatures as basically sterile.
I know all about thermophiles @SnakesAndArrows :) although I don't currently work with them.

In fairness, it's not until you've reached your 60s yourself that you realise it isn't actually that old.

More than 2 hours is too long to leave out whatever the meat.

Sorry but he sounds like right fucking wanker…. He’s a child! Then to go and tell his mother! 🤨

Sounds like he was deliberately trying to sabotage you. Next time you see in-laws invite them round again and tell them dh is cooking!

YANBU.

InSpainTheRain
I wouldn't serve a meal that was left out overnight. Foil obviously doesnt stop bacteria multiplying.

You've cooked the meat at a minimum of 170C for two-three hours, killing all the bacteria. You've then put the meat, still under its foil seal, to cool for a few hours. Where are the bacteria going to come from?

Well, moist heat at 121C sterilises in 20 minutes, so my guess is zero.

There are thermopiles of course but they aren’t going to be in your kitchen, and even if they were they are going to consider a warmish casserole and human body temperature a bit chilly.

I’d have served it, it would be fine.

You both sound exhausted. No wonder you’ve been arguing!

If my husband had kept sticking his head round the door telling me how to cook the left out food would only have been a tiny part of the row we had!!