Huge row with DH over food safety - who is BU?

I think if you wanted it to go in the fridge, you should have been explicit, or stayed up and sorted it yourself. After all, you did volunteer to cook.

But I leave sausages etc. in the oven overnight all the time then fridge them the next day and it's always been fine.

He sounds awful, and I would be RAGING.

You've gone to all that trouble, for HIS parents, and he can't even figure out for himself that a meat dish needs to go into the fridge. A pp said it's your fault for not telling him to fridge it... COME ON. He's a grown man. He knows this.

Instead of feeling awful at his mistake, he bitches with you and cancels the whole night? Fuck me. I'd be so angry if I was in your shoes. All that effort and food gone to waste, because he's an idiot.

We all ate food after a christening once, that had been sat out for about 2 hours on a hot day. We were violently sick for hours. It was terrible, and I'd never risk that again. Pork that has sat out in the warm for 9 or 10 hours? No thank you!!

It's almost as if he set out to sabotage you, tbh.

I wouldn't eat meat that had been out all night. But did you ask him to put it in the fridge? If you didn't I don't get your fury, if I was cooking I would put the food in the fridge or I would ask my husband to do it f I was going to bed, I wouldn't just assume it would happen. Tell him to stay out of the kitchen when you are cooking, he sounds more than annoying.

I'd be very clear that the invitation was rescinded because their son was being a petulant child.

I'd also be very clear that you wouldn't be cooking for his family going forward; he can kill himself in the kitchen while you sit on the couch.

It's unsafe to leave perishable foods at room temperature for longer than two hours. If it's the type of dish that takes a long time to cool down, you can put the covered dish in the sink with some cold water and ice to cool it more quickly.

You shouldn't have to tell a grown man to put something in the fridge, nor should you have to put up with that kind of arrogance, laziness and criticism from him. It sounds like he didn't bother to spite you.

He sounds like a complete twat and I think you have much bigger issues here than some spoilt food.

Choosing to eat it himself is fine. He can take the risk if he wants.

Serving it to others would be completely unacceptable.

older people are at higher risk from food poisoning. Other guests might have their own risk factors that they have not felt a need to disclose because they are trusting the hosts to follow reasonable practices.

he should have been honest with his parents that he ruined the food.

no it would have been fine, it would have spent the day in the fridge, you get home and reheat it.

Pork is no more problematic than other meats, especially if it was fully cooked to start with. (tapeworms etc are no longer a problem for uk produced pork or pork products.) And the PP who said it could not have gone into the fridge directly after coming out of the oven is right. Bacteria would not start growing until the dish was significantly cooler.
If the dish is refrigerated first thing in the morning and reheated very thoroughly before serving it will be fine.

I would have just put it in the fridge in the morning.

However, the whole process seems so unnecessarily fraught - from both of you. A dinner shouldn't involve this much drama. It feels like there are bigger issues under the surface.

I’d have done this.

That said he could have sorted out a main dish and not cancelled and he certainly didn’t need to tattle tale to his mummy. What a child. Next time leave him do the hard work, he wasn’t appreciative of your efforts to host his parents.

Why are you doing all the cooking for his parents whilst you are sat on his butt anyway?

I'd have left it overnight to cool and fridged it in the morning.

I wouldn’t serve it to guests. He should have cooked something or picked up something quick to serve instead. And apologised profusely.

It’s mental to cancel and tell them it’s because you had an argument - that will make it sound like you don’t want them coming over.

I can’t think of any explanation for his behaviour other than he has some kind of chip on his shoulder about not being good enough for his parents (even then he shouldn’t take it out on you).

You asked him to take it out of the oven and he did. I would have just stuck it in the fridge in the morning and made surely it was hot through before serving. As long as its not really hot in your house overnight then it would have been fine.
I would also be annoyed at your dh for the dickish comments. If someone's not helping then they don't get to criticise (apart from major safety concerns).

I would have eaten it though having googled it it seems like 2hrs is the limit to leave food out

A grown adult shouldnt need to tell another grown adult (unless they have severe SEN or dementia I guess) that meat needs to be stored in the fridge

You were correct it could not be served to guests (honestly it needs binning). Why on earth didn’t he apologise and find a solution? A reasonable person would have made everything their problem having been such a dick. If he had done that his exhausted wife might have felt loved and cared for. As for telling his parents you’ve “had a row”!!! How utterly unattractive. Go out with friends tonight and see if you really like him later in the week.

I'd have eaten it without a second thought! (if it had been refrigerated all day, having been put in when you got up in the morning). But cancelling for that reason is bonkers.

I wouldn’t think it would be fully cool within two hours so would have left it covered on the side overnight.

If he was only watching TV why didn’t he do the things he was griping at you about?
Obviously you couldn’t serve the food. But it’s his view that you should be doing everything, and that his role is to nag you, that’s more concerning.

I wouldn't eat meat I had left out all night. Or I might possibly eat it myself but I definitely wouldn't serve it to anyone else.

You're both being unreasonable.

He's BU for bitching and having a go at you when you were doing something kind for his parents.

You are BU for being annoyed with him for not putting it in the fridge, if you didn't give him instructions to do so.

You're both being unreasonable for cancelling and him moreso for telling them it was because of an argument.

I'd want a pork dish to be in the fridge too, for the record.

I would have done the same as you. If he wants to risk eating it then guess what he is having for his tea tonight and tomorrow 😉

Next time don't offer to cook even though you enjoy cooking. The surrounding stress of him interfering and "sabotaging " is not worth it. One question though - is this a one off because he wanted perfection for his parents first visit, or does he normally interfere with things you do, eg diy or gardening (not cleaning or laundry as that isn't noticed by outsiders/neighbours).