Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say they are silly not to do this ?

32 replies

BlueCheesePlease · 22/08/2024 12:49

My friend has adult kids. All of them but one have flown the nest and are married.
They have a 37 year old still at home. She works but doesn't earn enough to move out alone, is single and has some physical disabilities. Yet friend wants to move to a rural area. This wouldn't work for my friends DD as she relies on trains to get to work and has to visit different work sites so very reliant on reliant transport.
Aibu to say that my friend should stop dithering and just go for it as the adult DD will have to make other arrangements ? The DD is saving for her own place but struggling to save on a single income.

OP posts:
Rory17384949 · 22/08/2024 13:10

It's up to your friend really isn't it, but the best solution might be for your friend to help her DD with a deposit so she can rent her own place?

Heyisforhorses · 22/08/2024 13:08

What do you suggest the DD who from what I've read is still living at home through no fault of her own? Moving her to the country is going to take her independence, make her reliant on others and in turn make hassle for her others. Your friend not moving is thinking of everyone.

Boxina · 22/08/2024 13:03

It's not silly to ensure her disabled daughter is ok. You sound heartless OP

ComtesseDeSpair · 22/08/2024 13:01

I don’t think it’s “silly”: your friend is presumably concerned about her daughter, and this doesn’t sound like an example of a lazy adult child not wanting to move out but one restricted by disability who can’t necessarily “make other arrangements.” Everyone’s priorities are different and it sounds like family is one of your friend’s.

Willyoubuymeahouseofgold · 22/08/2024 13:01

Certainly think what you want ...but keep it in your head . Not really your call.

Edingril · 22/08/2024 12:58

Isn't it up to your friend?

Fairyliz · 22/08/2024 12:54

Well if your friend has a 37 year old I assume she is at least late 50’s and possibly in her 70’s?
Silly time to move rural in my opinion as her mobility and health becomes worse she will probably need to be close to facilities not in the middle of nowhere.