Husband has secretly given kids an e-scooter

Take it to the tip like a pp mentioned.
Just get rid, if he can make unilateral choices then so can you, how many times is he willing to buy one to spite you?

As a parent you really need to not give many fucks about being seen as the baddie, it comes with the territory and this is a health and safety issue as we as the legalities involved.

Tell him the story of someone I know who bought one and had it seized by the police within 6 hours, £650 down the swanny

They might want to get a licence. If they are caught on an illegal e-scooter there are financial penalties and potential points on their licence as far as I understand it. They may also have the scooter confiscated and can be prosecuted. Not a great start for a young person. How about teaching them responsibility and understanding the consequences of behaviour instead.

There isn't anywhere he can use it legally

My neighbour's boys, 15 and 13, have an older cousin with an escooter and he takes them out illegally on the road, no helmets. I don't know if my neighbour is aware nor whether to tell her (sort of 'I haven't told you this and you may already know, but...'), as she works long hours and hasn't been around for swathes of the holidays.

Well hopefully the police will catch them using it and confiscate it.

either: get rid of it. Don’t discuss it. Say I thought there was a family agreement to never talk about the e-scooter seeing as everyone has very carefully not mentioned it to me, so I’m on board, I won’t discuss it either.

or: tell dh you hope he feels mature sneaking around behind your back, but while you might get over that in a teen you can’t in a husband. the scooter goes or he does. And if he can’t grow up enough to discuss things with his children’s other parent it probably should be him. Add it’s not like our marriage wouldn’t be instantly over if either of them had an accident on the e scooter you secretly bought them knowing I think it’s too dangerous.

obviously I don’t think you’re overreacting!

I live in a city where some legal scooters can be hired out on an hourly basis. Of course, that has led to an explosion of illegal ones on the road. You can easily distinguish them, the ones for hire are bright orange.
My heart has been in my mouth so many times when I've seen both the legal and illegal ones being used with two people on them,(also illegal) weaving in and out of traffic, on pavements and cycle tracks too and all without helmets. In fact I never see anyone using a helmet riding on one of these so perhaps it is not compulsory, although it ought to be.
There should be tighter regulation and enforcement or the toll of accidents, injuries and deaths will only increase, I'm afraid.

Just drive it to the tip and pop it in. No discussion is necessary. Be the better parent though and don’t tell the kids to lie about it to him.
Personally I’d then go out for a really long afternoon.
Be uninterested in any discussion of the whole thing. After all the three of them thought not talking about it made it all ok.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/mar/08/boy-sentenced-for-causing-death-after-crashing-into-woman-with-e-scooter

In particular

His parents, who attended court, must pay £85 costs and a £26 victim surcharge and were both handed six-month parenting orders.

Although it was not used on this occasion (Why?) there is a potential liability under 'cause or permit' which could mean a fine and penalty points on your husbands driving licence.

Can't the 17 year old have it? They're an adult next year. They can legally learn to drive a car.
Like someone else has already said I'd already left home at that age.

I understand not wanting the younger kid to use it though

I really would "steal" it and sell it. After all you didn't know about it!

I wouldn't normally resort to such petty games, but I think it's the only way to get back some control and respect in your own home. Your children being told by their Dad to keep secrets from you is not on.

Sorry to derail the thread a bit!

I have no advice OP. However, this reminds me of the experience I had, sitting by my sash windows during lockdown (so clear view), day in and day out, having clear view of 3 streets in a very lovely area I lived.

Many times, the dad alone with a pushchair and baby/toddler; they would be holding a coffee in one hand and a phone on the other, reading something/texting- oh and their head down! Dad would push the pushchair so it wheels itself for a short distance whilst dad walks behind it exclusively engrossed in his activities as the pushchair 'moves itself': coffee drinking and reading/texting on his phone. I was gobsmacked!

Only one thing came to my mind: No mother would knowingly let the dad do that to their child. I was then clear that some dads- not all- will always just do what they want with the kids when mums aren't around. I am sorry your DH has done this- at least they should have told you!

I'd get rid of them and then when asked where they've gone I'd claim ignorance. E scooter? What e scooter? 😳

I feel like this is the tip of the iceberg. I cannot think of a world where dp would keep something like this deliberately secret from me, and was it really a 'secret' as it was obviously gping to come out sooner or later. I'd be interested to know how the decision making process went, if you said no and he said yes, did you discuss and agree on no or did you leave it up in the air? I guess what I'm really asking is could this stem from resentment that you ultimately put yourself in charge of the final decision?

Well.you are. They're not babies, their other parent wants them to have one. You can't control everything

Well, a 16yo boy died in our town falling off one a couple of years back.

Your h is a stupid sneaky idiot.

I'd be cross that my husband made that decision without us both agreeing. I'd just hide the charger in the meantime.

This.

Of course it's wrong for someone to go behind their spouse's back and give their children something they know the other parent didn't want them to have for safety reasons. Wonderful way to drive a wedge into a relationship.

How would he have felt if one of the children had been injured while using a e-scooter that he'd bought without discussing with you? How would he have explained that? I'd be furious that he'd not only shown no respect for me but had involved the children in the lie. What a message to send!

It is. I'd be wondering what else he's hiding.

Don’t be ridiculous. She can do what she wants and then deal with the fall out within the family. I wouldn’t want a 14 year old on an e-scooter on the road or the 17 for that matter seeing as it is illegal. Would you not confiscate a gun that someone had given your child?

I've always wondered who were the idiots who bought these for young people. Now I know.