Husband has secretly given kids an e-scooter

and third reason on

DH knows his wife is very against it and so lacks respect for her or cares what she thinks that he just thinks “fuck it, i’m going to get on”

i would be distraught actually

my ex wouldn’t even do this even if he wanted to and is entirely his prerogative to

why? because i didn’t want him to and when i comes to dangerous vehicles as this… the parent with the concern trumps the parent without the concern

Yes this is a big deal. Firstly your DH is lying to you and involving the children. Secondly your children are breaking the law if riding on the highway without insurance.

I wouldn't care about being the bad guy and would remove the scooter.

They're dangerous vehicles - even aside from the "private ones not part of a govt trial scheme are illegal" point, you have to use them on the road, amongst traffic, and have a driving licence. It's not something a 14yo should be doing full stop. When they buzz down the road at high speed, because the private ones aren't speed-restricted like the hire ones are, and hit a pothole at a bad angle, they're going to come a cropper. Whether they skin their hands and knees, break a collarbone, fracture a skull, or go under the wheels of a passing bus, is all down to chance.

and what did you say in response?

OP

the marriage sounds very difficult and unhappy

i doubt your DH will care whether you’re upset or not

he may well say… well they can have it at my place when i move out

you sound sound at all happy either

but my point is

on the word of a friend, you started a mumsnet thread about an e scooter in the garage without walking half a dozen steps to actually see if friend was correct! and to suss out what was there!!

I would do this too. Your DC are old enough to understand why.

My DH's uncle bought e-scooters for my DC 2 years ago. When they were 6 and 4! He is a bit of an idiot and still asks if the DC go out on them. We just say no. Real answer is we gave them away before the DC had even seen them.

My friends 14 year old son has been in hospital for 2 weeks. He was hit by a car on the scooter. His arm was broken in 3 places and been pinned. Worse, he has serious head injuries and had an operation to relieve a blood clot. They have no idea if he'll recover fully.

I'd be beyond furious if my DH did and this and kept a secret. Your kids could be killed.

eScooters, ‘legal’ or illegal are death traps and I’m amazed they’re allowed on the roads. Round here they’re driven by kids who have clearly used fake ID or been set up by someone with a licence. There is often more than one person riding it, and nobody wears a helmet. I’d quietly get rid of it, say nothing, and deny all knowledge. That would be hilarious. Of course, the fact they have to be secret about it makes things 10 times more attractive.

The OP didn’t even pop out to the garage to check one was even there!

You’ll be the bad guy anyway. Get the e-scooter, take some photos, stick it on eBay or wherever and give the kids the money. At least you’ll win back a few brownie points with the cash.

YANBU, but I don’t understand why you didn’t just get rid of it.

is it possible he’s checked out of the marriage

and just doing what he wants to do with no reference to you because he doesn’t care about your opinion?

your friend told you this last night

and rather than go and take a peek in the garage

you start a thread?

before doing anything, i would have checked the garage to see whether my friend was right!

That’s something. I’m not implying any irresponsibility on your part, OP, far from it, but was suggesting any 17 year old should understand the risks of riding a vehicle illegally and getting caught if they want to get a driving licence as it could impact them. Perhaps something their dad could explain to them and understand better himself. I don’t know the full ins and outs of the laws as I don’t use a scooter and I imagine quite a lot of users aren’t fully aware either.

So they know you know?!

as i thought

just tip of the iceberg

how far away is the garage?

You haven’t… checked?!

I'm just saying not to take the bad advice given about having it 'stolen' etc...

You madness at your husband for lying to you is your own to choose how to handle, its moral so theres not really a correct way. Some would split up, some would be mad for a day or so and get over it and others would shrug it off with a don't do it again.

How about you pretend to be thrilled with it.

Then you want to have a go on it but as you glide along dodging small children, old ladies and avoiding scratching parked cars, it you have a fall and pretend you've twisted your ankle.

You then spend the next fortnight 'resting' whilst your husband has to do everything around the house.

I like the take to tip idea. followed by "e-scooter? what e-scooter" if challenged.

I live in an area where they're popular with young teenage lads who are up and down the roads on them. Local Facebook groups are always complaining about them, some people send ring doorbell footage if the kids illegally riding them on roads and pavements to police but I don't know if anything has ever happened about it. I see comments saying points can be given but I don't know if that's true.

I know they can be useful for people getting about, esp some with mobility issues like myself, I'd love one but if they're illegal to be used on roads and pavements then there's no point, I've seen people use them in busy towns as way of getting to and from work etc and and they look handy for that use, but those people are not using them in the same way the young teenage lads are round here.

I'd not want my kids to be using it illegally and/or unsafely, if your neighbours or the residents of the roads hes riding on are annoyed with them he risks someone sending ring doorbell footage into police, did you dh consider that when he chose to go behind you back?

In the past few months here in Ireland 3 teenagers have been killed on escooters. Unless where you live has the right infrastructure for them it isn't safe, not for them or for the people they might be whizzing past. I wouldn't care about being the 'baddie' in this situation. It would just be a flat no, absolutely not and I would get rid of it.