Husband has secretly given kids an e-scooter

I duno I'm sort of on the fence. I think linking articles to accidents that have been caused by them is a bit disingenuous, plenty of people have been killed on push bikes.

I disagree with him getting them behind your back but I don't see why one parent can just completely veto something because they don't like it. Fwiw I don't love them either and it's never really come up in our house.

He shouldn't have got them behind your back but you can't just decide no one can have them because of your opinion.

Simple explain to husband and child if he gets caught it's 6 points for no insurance and 3 for not in accordance with a licence on a ghost licence before even passing his test. That means no driving a car at 17.... Banned before even being old enough to drive. Obviously that's unlikely as he's 14 but it spins it in a direction that's for his benefit

The bottom line is that e-scooters are illegal to use on public roads and pavements in the UK. Unless your garden is big enough for your children to use it safely, its use is breaking the law. I don't know enough about legal matters to say who would be held responsible though. Incidentally, according to our local police, all this info is in the paperwork that your husband would have been given when he bought the thing. In the small print, probably.

I used one of the city hire ones on holiday recently. Fell off, and chipped a bone in my knee as well as cuts and bruises everywhere. Felt very stupid and ashamed.
What do you think you're going to do?

Believe what you want bicycles are just as dangerous we teach our kids to ride them safely which makes them safer if an electric scooter was ridden safety there's no reason it would be more dangerous than a bike.
Like I said though a lot of drug dealers use electric scooters not bicycles and that's probably why there's a lot more accidents because of the type of people who typically use e scooters Vs bikes.

Like motorcycles it’s not the motorcyclist but other drivers not clocking them.

@Leah5678

you realise they're just as dangerous if not ridden properly.

no, we don’t “realise” that.

Because it’s patently untrue

Sure tell them that, maybe the 17 year old might want to use it in an empty field for fun. I stand by what I said at 17 I'd already moved out the family home you cannot control them forever. People said everything that's been said on this thread about bicycles, you realise they're just as dangerous if not ridden properly.

It's different with the 14 year old though, there's a big maturity difference between 14 and 17. Another thing that hasn't been mentioned but is worth being aware of is a lot of drug dealers use electric scooters to get around so I'd just bear that in mind keep an eye on what your boys are doing

The risk of an accident on these things is ++++, I remember a surgeon saying another name for a motorcyclist is an organ donor - in a clash between your son and a vehicle he could at least be maimed, brain damaged or dead. At 14 they’d have no idea.
i would probably take the bike to the dump and speak to none of them for a month.

she did
after starting the thread

I would be upset on the basis that weas parents are a team, we don't hide things from each other, we don't ask the kids to hide things and we don't do things we know the other really is not happy about.

If he felt that strongly about it, he should have had a conversation, like adults do when figuring out parenting together. Him going against your wishes and behind your back says, I don't care how you feel, I do what I want. That to me is a complete lack of respect and 2 fingers up to what is important to you.

I would be livid if dh did this. There are several messages that he is giving out:

• that it's ok for him to say 'yes' even if he knows that you would say 'no' and to go behind your back
• that his opinion trumps yours
• that they can collude against you
• that it's ok to just go ahead with what you want, hoping that mum won't then stop you from doing it
• that it's ok to do something illegal (the law is an ass)
• that it's ok to do something illegal as long as mum doesn't find out
• that he trusts your young teenage son's ability to judge risk
• that he trusts dc's abaility to judge risk over mum's experience

None of these are OK.

I think she did speak to her ds (and that he confirmed).

Op started this thread on the basis of word of friend, not having spoken to her sons and not having popped in to the garage to see if there was indeed an e scooter

It's not just on the word of a friend. She has said more than once that she has discussed this with her child who has confirmed he has used it.

OP...it is not unreasonable for you to be angry about this. I would be livid for the many reasons that people have already stated.

Maybe the husband and kids have asked for many things and always gets shot down with a no - safety who knows.

Lying and actively telling your children to lie to you. Why would he even want that for his own children?

OK

I would have absolutely zero level of chill.

I think the confusion here is because posters are wondering how you got to this point, where your DH would just walk all over you like this. They are maybe thinking it’s because he knows you wouldn’t stand up for yourself (take the scooter away)

Does that make sense OP? My DH wouldn’t fucking dare pull shit like this because he knows how it would pan out.

It is the lying that would piss me off the post

Has he arranged public liability insurance for them if they're riding on the road? If not, any accident could prove to be very costly.

And I agree with you. I'd have been livid if my DH had done this with my DS. To the point of gibbering fury and the suggestion that if he really doesn't care about my opinion then he really doesn't care about living with me because he can't possibly love me if he's so very disrespectful.

They Are Not Fine. They are illegal to use except on private land, much like segways and quad bikes, for a good reason. Even the 'legal' ones that are for hire cannot be used by a child on the public road, they must be 18 years old and over.
You would not be unreasonable to be extremely angry with your DH for
buying the scooter in the first place, encouraging his 14 yesr old to use it on the road and then for his devious and underhand behaviour subsequently.
I'd tell him that if he doesn't get rid of it I would report it to the police for confiscation.

Honestly I would be seriously considering the marriage. Undermining you like that is absolutely not on.

You shouldn't have let the cat out of the bag though. You should have taken photos, put it on marketplace for a fair price and then bought yourself something nice with the proceeds, while DH thinks it's stolen, definitely.

I've literally just has to research the rules with my son, who's been begging me to allow him to buy one.

Read the legal guidance on the UK Gov website about escooters and the implications if a child under 17 uses one on the roads without a licence.

That's on top of the danger to physical health should the child have an accident.

Your husband is a dick and he's putting his own kids at risk of causing a serious accident and being hurt in the process.

While I don’t completely agree with you on the safety element (and would probably let my own kids have them at that age if I could afford it and could give them some training on how to use it safely), YANBU at all to be pissed off about him undermining you and going behind your back. I would be taking it away and making DH take the fall for it “being stolen”.