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AIBU?

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to refuse to work with my backstabber colleague?

177 replies

bettysyourauntie · 22/08/2024 01:28

A few months ago, I resigned from a senior role at a company, marking the end of a significant project where I played a key role in rescuing a client from a dire situation. I saw the project through to completion, delivering exceptional results. The firm profited greatly from my efforts and unique skills in the industry.
Despite the challenges which were many, I recognised the importance of this project and found satisfaction in many aspects of it. This kept me going as in the office, and outside of the day-to-day project tasks, I was very unhappy. I endured a toxic work culture and poor leadership devoid of people skills and emotional intelligence.

Just as I was on the verge of resigning, I was blindsided by a colleague I trusted and believed I had a strong working relationship with. We collaborated closely, and I felt he valued my leadership and judgment. I was his sounding board for navigating difficult situations, and we spent countless hours strategising together. Yet, he was the typical self-promoter, taking my ideas and presenting them as his own in front of the client. The particular incident was a betrayal. It was unprofessional, nasty, and utterly unexpected, leaving me hurt and confused.

In response, I decided to go on my own, launching a business in the sector and building on the reputation I earned from my last job. I became known as "the cleaner" - the go-to person for turning around difficult situations.

When I left, there were no efforts to retain me. It was clear I was angry and upset, but I also sensed their nervousness about the sudden drop in income as the highest fee-generating job in the firm came to a hard stop. My departure announcement was likely seen as a relief as my salary was on the upper end of the scale and so it was perhaps a good outcome all around. I must admit, that despite all this, I thought it was a bit strange and shortsighted but at the same time, they have not been known to bother with retention on other occasions so not surprising either.

Fast forward a few months, and my old boss suddenly called. He was all smiles and sweet talk, which immediately made me suspicious. As it turns out, a client is eager to engage the firm, but only if I am part of the team. They want to repeat the success of the other job they've heard much about. With the right CVs on the ticket, my old boss is confident they have secured the job and are likely to start in a couple of weeks.

Now, I'm facing a dilemma. Since starting my business, I've only secured small jobs. I have exciting and promising leads for more lucrative contracts in the near future and I have definitely managed so far to attract attention from the right people. If anything materialises work will not start for a few weeks still. Money is a bit tight, and I can't afford a long dry spell. But should I say yes just because the opportunity is there? I'd be working with the same colleague and I can't shake off the hurt.

The Pros: Immediate income (only 3 d/wk for min 1 year, which is also a negative as I will need to find a filler for the other two days to maintain a good level of income). I will be further strengthening my CV and position in the sector and working with this client may potentially open doors to future opportunities.

The Cons: It's a part-time contract. But mainly again - do I really want to work with someone who backstabbed me?

I wonder how different would it be as a contractor, an outsider, avoiding office politics and self-promoting colleagues. What are the real risks for me here?

So, am I being foolish or unreasonable to consider turning down the offer? If I say no, there’s a good chance they'll lose the opportunity. Sweet revenge, or am I just shooting myself in the foot?

OP posts:
SparklyJadeFawn · 22/08/2024 01:44

Whats your gut instinct telling you.

Also isn't there any other option other than those two?

Could you apply for a full time job somewhere?

Movingonup313 · 22/08/2024 01:43

Sounds to me like a bird in the hand. What are the gains from turning it down....pride? I wonder if the problematic colleague would have been told to reign it in. Actually, does your boss know the real reason you left? Would it be worth fleshing that with them with a view to preventing a repeat? As you are building up your business, a three day sideline (even though its the sole income initially) sounds sweet. Is there something preventing these clients coming directly to you, rather than your previous employer? Id maybe make my colleague know that x, y and z will not be tolerated and your presence is essential - so watch it. Good luck with whatever you decide.

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