Parent didn't show up for play date

Over protective parenting illicit these issues. Why on earth create all these meeting points and structure it so heavily?

Around here it’s not remotely normal for 8 year olds to be out on the streets by themselves. And if they did, I’d be worried about them being preyed on. Park or house play dates only I’m afraid (London).

She’s either weird and rude or an alcoholic so would steer well clear.

Where do you live that kids just 'play in the streets'? Play date is not a new phrase. It was in use when my kids were young in the 1980s!

Your only acceptable response to that sort of message from the mother is

"Hi Flaky Mum, we were very disappointed that Amelia couldn't join us yesterday for pizza and a play date due to her sniffly nose. We waited for almost an hour before hearing back that you wouldn't be there. Unfortunately it will not be possible to reschedule the play date for another time at present as I'm significantly out of pocket due to the no show."

I'm 50 and in the UK, we had playdates as kids and no, I wasn't roaming the streets either, nor were my friends

Not everyone lives in a cul de sac or a rural area. Some people (gasp) live in cities where it’s not safe to do this? Some women work and can’t be on hand to let their kids run riot outside.

I really dislike this trend of judgement towards parents for not being able to reproduce an ersatz 1970s childhood. Complete with the usual bellyaching about kids being “supervised” and “not being allowed to get bored”. Snore.

Your point is completely irrelevant to the OP’s post and is a pathetic sideways dig at someone who lives a different way to you.

The OP was trying to arrange something fun for her kid to do. Sue her.

i wasn’t either. North London, oldest of three. There was no roving around the streets with my bike. When I was old enough to babysit I supervised the younger ones walking to and back from school. Until then no one went anywhere without an adult.

@shuggles do you think we’re still living in the 1950s? Do you even have young kids? These days most kids don’t just roam around on their bikes, no.

I agree that playdate is an imported american word (when I was young we would have just said ‘I’m going to X’s house or I’m going to play with X’) but the meaning is the same. I’m in my thirties and was certainly dropped off at other children’s houses by my parents at 8 years old.

Anyway OP, I would not be inviting this girl again in a hurry - her mum is very rude and flaky.

Easy to say afterwards but for next time (with someone else, not this flaky parent) send a text in the morning ;" still good for pizza today?". What is really appalling is the mother's answer. Not "I am so sorry I forgot, I will make it up to you" but "ok for tmw?". That would be the last playdate with that family for me.

Sorry you’re so offended at words, Shuggles. No, an 8yr old can’t bike to a friend’s house an hour’s drive away.

Very rude. I wouldn't arrange anything again except for her kid being dropped off to play at your house.

Beyond rude. You had to call her when they didn't show because the mum forgot and then casually chatted about getting together 'later today' or the next, while the child said they didn't know if they felt up to it. Unbelievable.

Not a chance that I would arrange another playdate or lunch or anything again. Next move has to come from her.

And step right back from all the childcare favours you're doing for her. Clearly she isn't grateful or appreciative of your time. The girls can hang at their sports club.

Nah. She's not the only one. You don't speak for all of us.

Sou ds like the mum has been taking advantage and just couldn't be bothered to make this meet up. Mostly upsetting for both children. Try and do more with her friends that are closer, on a more regular basis. After school dinner etc. Even if that's one sided, the children's friendships will grow.

Honestly I'd be so wary.of organising another play date again. She didn't care that you hed driven there (30mins away), waited 40 minutes, nor that you'd bought lunch! If she wants to.come, she can drop off and I'd.take her back.

We, no, most people on here were not 8 in the 1950s…

Anyone allowing an 8 year old to roam the streets unsupervised now would be referred to social services.

@shuggles - it’s absolute nonsense all children can just ‘knock’ for friends, it didn’t happen when I was young and it certainly doesn’t now. I think I may have knocked for the neighbours (one house had kids my age) and that’s it.
DCs came out of primary school asking if they could go back to X’s house but X may live 20 mins walk away over busy roads. And in holidays parents would text each other to arrange when DCs asked for play dates.
Obviously it changes in secondary, but my DCs never knocked even for their more local friends - they’d text first at least.

Doesn’t anyone read the thread? So many people saying let them play out…. THEY LIVE AN HOUR AWAY BY CAR!! Op said the halfway point is 30 mins from home. How are 8 year olds supposed to catch up in the street 🤣

“Think back to when you were 8- you would have went out by yourself to visit friends and roam around the streets on your bikes.”

em, nope - absolutely not. 🤔

You have to be firm with such people, especially given the easy ways to get in contact once you know you cannot make something.

No second chances whatsoever. People will only be unreliable if there are no consequences.

Hi, sorry poppy isn’t feeling well, sounds unlikely sh will be well enough to meet up in the next few days and we’d rather not catch something just before term so prob best the girls catch up at first netball session. Hope she feels better soon.

just Let them meet at their activities for now. Either she is unwell in which case she can’t come later or parent is useless in which case don’t make yourself out of pocket gain!

very lame of the other parent. Pizza Express isn’t cheap either.
Are the kids really good friends cos if not I wouldn’t be making the effort again.

Very rude.
I'd decline future.
I'm sorry but dd was very upset last time, and I can't afford to be paying for pizzas for someone who doesn't turn up last minute, without even having the decency to let me know.