Parent didn't show up for play date

@Cesarina

It just sounds so contrived, and making the occasion of kids playing together to be more formal-sounding and well, a bit "posh" than it needs to be!

It’s not the phrase… the phrase is a red herring

Its the fact some people are so limited they think everyone lives in exactly the same way they do. Like absolutely everyone in the UK lives in a suburban cul de sac.

Well, I need to tell you that@shuggles isn't the only one, actually.
Not by any means. I can recall at least one thread about this phrase in the past.
I wouldn't make this a hill for me to die on, and I don't criticise people who do use the phrase, but it's not for me.
It just sounds so contrived, and making the occasion of kids playing together to be more formal-sounding and well, a bit "posh" than it needs to be!

The term 'play date' may be relatively new here, but the concept is as old as methuselah! Parents have always arranged times for their children to meet and play! Not everyone lives in areas where the children have safe spaces to play. I'm 60 and remember my mum arranging these things with other mums. 🙄

Dreadful behaviour not to let you know in advance.

Yes they do. (Have limited imaginations, I mean).

These posters berating the reality of the modern world and those of us who live in it.

FFS

FWIW I am 51 and from New Zealand. yes I knocked on the doors of neighbours to play out with children.... because we were all in a teeny tiny rural town and ALL our various parents would be able to supervise simply by looking out the window. (And they did. Within seconds of the creepy guy in the white van asking if we wanted sweets several mothers raced out of our front doors. ) It was not so innocent and bucolic even then.

Tt would be absolutely unheard of for us to go off for hours at the age of 8 on our bikes.

Er, maybe the fact that a car journey is involved is relevant? What should the OP do: wave her kids off two hours before the meeting and say “see you at lunch?” FFS…

Do people have limited imaginations that they can’t compute that people have different circumstances from their families?

I agree! It wasn’t me that posted that ridiculous statement about it being a recent American import! I’m in my 40s and had play dates when I was a kid. And my parents certainly didn’t let me wander around the streets at 8 years old!

The name is odd obviously not the concept.

Agree with the above.Tbh the parent has a cheek.Don't give second chances,they'll walk all over you.

I'd discourage the friendship and not make any other arrangements with the mother again.

@Nightowl1234 you must be very young to believe that the term playdate is a recent American import. It really isn't and it's been in use for 40 years at least.
I remember being allowed out to play on my own when I was 8 years old but that was in the 1950s! Nowadays there is far too much traffic around and stranger danger is a real thing for parents of young children.

Are you being deliberately dim or what ? Many of us were not thrown out into the streets to do whatever we want. Our parents supervised us and any kids that came over

I wouldn't entertain such rudeness again.
It is unfortunate for your child but I do not agree with facilitating friendships at any cost.
The parent has blown it.
Let them see each other at the activity and increase other local friendships.
I wouldn't reply to any futher texts from such an ignorant person.

'Think back to when you were 8' 🙄

You can't comprehend that times have moved on ??

Not everyone lives in places like this or is it difficult for you to imagine that?
We live in London, busy streets and no hanging around streets. At 8 too that's so irresponsible. We organise play dates and it is very much the done thing around here. We also have a parent at home who is responsible for the kids who come over, not just turfed out into the street to get up to whatever.

Yanbu op, that was extremely rude and I would have said that I bought the pizzas already and what should you do with them. Absolutely awful of them knowing the arrangements.

She perhaps assumed you wouldn't order until she arrived but either way she's rude AF to have done that.

I was raised in the 1970s and was left unsupervised a lot.These are different times though and I remember there being virtually no traffic on the roads when I played out.So different today.

It depends where you live. The streets around my way aren't safe enough doe kids to be out on their bikes until they're about 13 or so.
Likewise being in the park alone.

I'm in the UK and we've done playdates at our house, friends' houses, soft play, zoo, etc.
If arranging to meet outside the home I'd always go foe something that would still be do-able if the other party was a no-show.

In OPs case, the other parent was flaky. I'd have let them know I was at the restaurant and had ordered. If they wanted to rearrange I'd have asked them to make it something or somewhere that there were other things to do.

The term "playdate" is new, the concept of a kid having a friend over to play isn't. I definitely went round to friends housed 30 years ago. The children also live an hour apart, so it's not like calling on a neighbour.

Your dd may love this other child but really until she's older they won't be able to hang out together without the parents involved in some arranging.It's frustrating but you'll burn yourself out trying to deal with the other mum.Been there done that with my own dcs and some really flakey parents.The sad thing is once you tolerate this once you can guarantee your'e in for more in the future.The dcs will see each other in what sounds like a shared hobby/sporting activity.If the other parent asks for another playdate just tell them that it was disappointing and costly to be kept waiting last time and you don't want to be in that situation again.

What are you on about 🤣 I had loads of ‘play dates’ at 8 and my mum didn’t let me wander around the streets unsupervised!

Some people have so little regard for others they can’t even be bothered to tell plausible lies.

If the child was too ill to be taken to Pizza Express then, why would it be ok to bring him and his germs to your home later?

She wanted to do something else but have some child free time later.

Of course that was really rude. Did you say 'oh why didn't you call - we've been sitting here waiting for 40 minutes'! If she suggests another time say 'well I don't know - will you definitely make it this time? We wasted a lot of time waiting for you and DD was very disappointed'. Don't pussy foot around it - let her know she did wrong!
There was a mum at our old school who did this sort of thing and it was her child that suffered as no one wanted to make plans with her after a while.