Parent didn't show up for play date

My daughter invited twins once from class to her birthday party of 15 kids - with a magician, hired hall, party bags, food boxes etc.
The twins didn't turn up ....we waited....I rang the mum....no answer.... I told the magician to go ahead.
Had the party, all lovely.
That night 7 pm I got a msg saying sorry the twins didn't come - someone dropped round the house so we just played in the garden instead!
Really put me off inviting twins again....and she works in a school!!!
So rude to us and my child.
Mind you that was 18 years ago..... it's a good thing I don't hold a grudge.....( I do)

Tell the Mum that you're happy to have her DD come over another day as long as she's ok dropping her & picking her up from your home. Don't be arranging another 'meet you half way' playdate in case it happens again.

I played with my brother and neighbour friends in our very safe cul-de-sac when I was 8, but I also definitely still had play dates at school friends houses etc! I wouldn’t have been allowed to cycle off streets away alone at that age! I wouldn’t allow my kids to do so now either!
I’m 37… play date isn’t new!

Maybe not 🙈🙈🙈. I don’t know exactly were my 8 year old is right now. He’s on the estate somewhere playing football with his friends. He’s not allowed off the estate. But anyway I’ll be expecting social services any minute 🙄🙄🙄

Yes, but different ages too. It's the same over-protective attitude.
See the post above by the MNer who said she couldn't roam alone at ANY age? I'm not sure what that means as she's presumably not typing this with her mother watching her so she must have been let out alone at some point.

I was 8 in the eighties. No roaming the streets but allowed to play outside the house in the street (quiet cul de sac). Played with neighbours kids but was driven to classmates houses - didn’t call them play dates but was either dropped off and collected or, in my mum knew their mum, she stayed and had coffee.

How old are you? We certainly did this in the 80s, but maybe you're younger?

We actually even had playdates in the 80s though we didn't have that word, but of course there was also playing outside without supervision
Shuggles is right about that.

We did too occasionally , even though we generally lived close, didn’t call them play ‘dates’ though.

@shuggles - what 8 year old has a mobile? My daughter is 13 and doesn’t even ‘roam around on her own’…. 5 years ago at 8 none of her friends had phones, and I can assure you we most certainly had play dates in the 80’s and 90’s… in fact we had friends rounds our houses more so back then than kids do now… now we tend to meet up at trampoline parks or go theme parks (well when DD was 8 till about a year or so ago!)
I don’t know where you live where 8 year olds have phones and hang around unsupervised but never happens where we are in the south. 8 is far too young to be hanging around in parks etc with their friends. They’re not even allowed to walk home from school alone at 8!
our teachers still have to see an appropriate adult picking up the kids in year 3 & 4…

Many of us were not 'roaming the streets' aged 9. Or any age for that matter.

My eldest is 30. They are called play dates then

You seem strangely hostile

She let her 15 year old son travel round Europe on his own. Different to letting your kids ride round the block on their bike 🙄🙄🙄🙄

The news today about Kirstie Allsopp being reported to social services (and SS taking the report seriously) for letting her 15 year old travel alone a month before his 16th birthday would definitely suggest that 8 year-olds out alone on bikes would raise social services eyebrows!

I know, the only 8 year olds riding bikes around town unsupervised and carrying their own mobile phones around here are being used as drug couriers 😂

I’m an older Mum but would never have allowed my children out alone at 8 years old, unless they were in my garden. Play dates were quite common in my area Wales 30+ years ago. I doubt I’d arrange another play date with them unless it was at my home and they dropped off and picked up.

i would probably be more casual about arranging plans with them in the future. Me and dd are going xyz if you would like to join us?

I’m surprised at people saying to give them a second chance. That would be it for me. The mother has a total disregard for you and your daughter and I’m sorry this happened to your daughter.

Unless the parent had genuinely forgotten and was incredibly apologetic, then yes they are being so rude.

I don’t blame you for not wanting to arrange anything else!

We don’t buy anything until everyone is there, purely for this reason, incase someone doesn’t turn up

Errr, no it isn’t

We do regularly.

Next time just arrange it that u collect the child and do something and drop them back when suits u. If that fails then sack them off.

I have a friend like this. Always cancels resulting in my child being upset and when I finally said something I was apparently in the wrong. Some people have no respect for your time. Don’t make plans with them again.

That is hugely rude and inconsiderate given you'd paid for lunch. I wouldn't want to arrange another play date - I'd be concerned about another letdown

@timetodecide2345 · 22/08/2024 08:50
Over protective parenting illicit these issues. Why on earth create all these meeting points and structure it so heavily?

Er...because the people involved don't live next door?

Incidentally, you mean 'elicit'.