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AIBU?

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Original poster

Family holiday drama

828 replies

familydrama1 · 21/08/2024 21:36

So we are due to go on holiday next year with family. We invited my parents, they booked their own room - they then invited my nephew (who is 17). My brother didn't pay for my nephew or even offer to pay for their place.

I found out I was pregnant recently and can't book the baby's space until they are born. Also there will be no spaces as, the baby is due 4 months before the holiday. Anyone we trust with our child will be on that holiday. We need to take my nephew off the booking and change it to the baby when they are born.

AIBU to take my nephew off the booking (I have spoken to my parents about this and they understand) but I know my brother won't be happy and it will cause drama. Or should just not go and lose thousands 😣

Need an outside perspective pleaseeee

OP posts:
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5
HelpAGirlOut1234 · 22/08/2024 14:07

Legoninjago1 · 22/08/2024 13:12

I'm so confused. Why can't you book another room in the name of your husband and one of your existing children
Then you have all the space you need and can put people wherever you want them.

Exactly!

Mysinglepringle · 22/08/2024 14:03

wheretoyougonow · 22/08/2024 13:42

@Mysinglepringle

My mum decided to invite my nephew after we invited them.

Indicates that he was invited without consent, even if had been discussed (which sounds doubtful)

I am not 'projecting'. Op has asked if she aibu and I've given an opinion. If it doesn't align with your views that's ok but no need for the personal comment.

They are paying for their room. They don't need her consent. The only doubtful thing is if she's contributed to the cabin.

You made it personal by adding what you'd think if it happened to you. I was responding to that.

BlondeFool · 22/08/2024 14:02

Legoninjago1 · 22/08/2024 13:12

I'm so confused. Why can't you book another room in the name of your husband and one of your existing children
Then you have all the space you need and can put people wherever you want them.

Far too sensible and no drama

notatinydancer · 22/08/2024 13:58

jamsandwiched · 21/08/2024 21:59

If your parents and daughter and nephew are in one room then why is your room with just you and dh at full capacity?

Two other kids

Manxexile · 22/08/2024 13:57

Mysinglepringle · 22/08/2024 13:11

At no point has op said he was invited without it being discussed with her first. Stop projecting.

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The OP has made it clear in at least two posts yesterday (eg 21:52 and 22:49) that her parents invited the nephew without asking her or discussing it with her.

Assuming that's true, I'd have to say I'd be pretty pissed off if I invited my parents to join us on holiday and then find that they'd decided to invite my nephew along without asking me - regardless of who's paying.

As somebody else has said, if I'd wanted my nephew to come along I'd have invited him in the first place.

And why have so many posters asked about why the parents in law can't help? They aren't on the cruise are they? The OP has never mentioned them.

Calliopespa · 22/08/2024 13:48

whereisthelifethatirecognize · 22/08/2024 13:45

OP is paying for half the room, and the trip is with her husband's family.

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But that’s only because they are using part of the room. They haven’t shouted the grandparents as guests.

whereisthelifethatirecognize · 22/08/2024 13:45

Calliopespa · 22/08/2024 12:09

But they aren’t really guests are they. They are people paying for themselves.

Show quote history

OP is paying for half the room, and the trip is with her husband's family.

wheretoyougonow · 22/08/2024 13:42

@Mysinglepringle

My mum decided to invite my nephew after we invited them.

Indicates that he was invited without consent, even if had been discussed (which sounds doubtful)

I am not 'projecting'. Op has asked if she aibu and I've given an opinion. If it doesn't align with your views that's ok but no need for the personal comment.

Sameshitdifferentdayx · 22/08/2024 13:41

Sooooo the moral of the story here is?! Well, there could be a few to be fair. 🤪

Hope you sort it OP, but please don't kick up and kick the nephew off. It's really not his fault.

Calliopespa · 22/08/2024 13:37

Op I think you just have to accept the nephew has been invited and you can’t expect him to be told to drop off the guest list because you’re now pregnant.

Going forward with four children you will need multiple rooms; very few holiday arrangements cater for 6 in a room. I’d just accept that now and get on and book a cabin in DH’s name. Up to grandparents if they don’t want to go with the nephew without your subsidy for DD in their room.

But as I suspect you are going to feel aggrieved by the presence of the nephew and probably your mum for asking him, and definitely your DB for being someone your mum is too scared of not to ask the nephew, why not cancel and take your brood of 4 under 6 somewhere a bit more practical for that number of children at that age. I’d lie awake worrying how I was going to get so many small children to safety in an emergency- or even get to a hospital if one got sick. Babies get ill fast. On that topic what about that woman who held thd baby aloft in that Sicily yacht sinking. What a strong mum! But I did think mental note: never holiday on boats with small people.

wheretoyougonow · 22/08/2024 13:37

@MyBreezyPombear It doesn't say anywhere that he is a sulky teenager. He might be adorable. I was replying as to why I wouldn't want my in-laws to invite (without consulting me) their 17 year old grandchild to my holiday with them.

Stompythedinosaur · 22/08/2024 13:36

It sounds really unfair to decide to cancel your nephew's holiday because you got pregnant. Of course he'll be upset and of course his parents will think it's a crappy thing to do.

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 22/08/2024 13:32

Hoppinggreen · 22/08/2024 13:01

At what point have I called anyone a Paedophile?
I said that a 17 year old boy would probably not be happy sharing a bed with a younger female cousin, thats kind of the opposite of a paedophile

And OP said earlier that her parents invited her nephew out of fear of her brother. It may or may not be true but I prefer to base my posts on information given rather than huge leaps of imagination

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AIBU to take my nephew off the booking (I have spoken to my parents about this and they understand)
Yes her parents sound terrified of her brother here. OPs the one kicking off and causing drama and changing the 'facts' here to suit her version of events.

Calliopespa · 22/08/2024 13:27

Cosyblankets · 22/08/2024 12:41

So if your parents and nephew weren't there then you would need two rooms for your own family?

But she asked the Grsndparents ( to subsidise?) and now that’s backfired as she’s added a new child.

Mysinglepringle · 22/08/2024 13:21

Hoppinggreen · 22/08/2024 13:15

Then my mum invited my nephew without asking me. I believe she only did this to invite my nephew with her. Because if my brother found out she was going on holiday without taking one of his kids, he will probably not talk to my parents and my mum is scared of him.

Show quote history

Yeah thats not saying it wasn't discussed. She expected to give permission and wasn't asked.

Sooverwork · 22/08/2024 13:19

I’m finding this whole post just batshit crazy especially as to why her 6 yo DD was being placed in her parents cabin in the first place . Of course then realises she’s pregnant and would have given birth by the time cruise comes around. Nephew isn’t the issue here

BCSurvivor · 22/08/2024 13:19

So OP is now implying that GPs only invited...and paid...for the nephew because her brother would "kick off" if they didn't.
Yet now OP wants the GPs to kick the nephew off the cruise and insert another of her children in their room in his place, presumably at no cost to herself, as the GPs have already paid for the nephew.
I assume OP will now also "kick off" if she doesn't get her way.

Legoninjago1 · 22/08/2024 13:17

Oh I seeee! Thanks for explaining @Cosyblankets - as you were OP 😄

Madamecholetsbonnet · 22/08/2024 13:17

blackcherryconserve · 22/08/2024 12:32

But a six month old baby? Disturbing Grandparents and DN!

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Just on paper, not to genuinely be in that room. They could keep baby with them and other DC, or palm one of the other DC in with PILS?

@Staunchlystarling I suspect we will never find out the truth about this…

I have been on a cruise with a large group and nobody checked which of us was sleeping in which room at any point.

Cosyblankets · 22/08/2024 13:16

Legoninjago1 · 22/08/2024 13:12

I'm so confused. Why can't you book another room in the name of your husband and one of your existing children
Then you have all the space you need and can put people wherever you want them.

Because that's too easy and there would be nothing to post about

Hoppinggreen · 22/08/2024 13:15

Mysinglepringle · 22/08/2024 13:11

At no point has op said he was invited without it being discussed with her first. Stop projecting.

Show quote history

Then my mum invited my nephew without asking me. I believe she only did this to invite my nephew with her. Because if my brother found out she was going on holiday without taking one of his kids, he will probably not talk to my parents and my mum is scared of him.

Legoninjago1 · 22/08/2024 13:12

I'm so confused. Why can't you book another room in the name of your husband and one of your existing children
Then you have all the space you need and can put people wherever you want them.

Mysinglepringle · 22/08/2024 13:11

wheretoyougonow · 22/08/2024 12:25

@Staunchlystarling
I don't know why that is so funny to you. I've invited my in-laws on a holiday with us. I would not be impressed if they decided to invite my niece without discussing with us first.

At no point has op said he was invited without it being discussed with her first. Stop projecting.

DaniMontyRae · 22/08/2024 13:07

Hoppinggreen · 22/08/2024 13:01

At what point have I called anyone a Paedophile?
I said that a 17 year old boy would probably not be happy sharing a bed with a younger female cousin, thats kind of the opposite of a paedophile

And OP said earlier that her parents invited her nephew out of fear of her brother. It may or may not be true but I prefer to base my posts on information given rather than huge leaps of imagination

Show quote history

You jumped to it being double beds (despite that info not being given - leap of imagination) and then made a point of the cousin being female. And then said the OP should have gone ballistic at the situation. Why? Seemed like you were implying something untoward about the cousin.

There's a difference between leaps of imagination and critical thinking. I asked you why you thought the parents would be scared of the son kicking off when they are fine with uninviting the nephew. Surely the son would kick off even more at this? And the OP didn't even say why she thought that about her parents and brother - she didn't mention any conversation it was based on, it's just her own feelings.

DaniMontyRae · 22/08/2024 13:01

Hoppinggreen · 22/08/2024 12:57

Not a reach, its what OP said.
She said he parents invited the nephew after the fact because her brother is a pain and would kick off.
Which bit is a reach?

Show quote history

That's the OPs interpretation and she's struggled to keep her story straight in several areas so isn't exactly a reliable narrator. And they can hardly be that scared of him if they are willing to go along with kicking the nephew off the trip. Sounds like the OP just can't accept the idea that while the GPs are doing something nice for her they are also willing to do something nice for her brother.