Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving baby with stranger

132 replies

sunshine240778474 · 21/08/2024 20:16

I took my 8 month old baby to her first swimming lesson today. Once we were out dried and dressed. I was bursting for a pee. None of the toilets had an area for me to put my baby down while I went to the toilet. I didn't have a pram with me.

An older lady who was at the swimming pool watching her grandchildren swim said she would hold her while I went to the toilet. I was a bit hesitant at first but then agreed because she looked nice.

Everything was fine.

Afterwards I felt terrible and so guilty that I left her with a stranger because she 'looked nice'

Was it wrong of me to leave her?
When I told my partner he made me feel worse.
Now I feel like a terrible mother.

OP posts:
Lmnop22 · 21/08/2024 20:35

The fact you’re worrying means you’re a good mum!

I once took my 2 month old and 4 year old on a 3 hour train journey and my 4 year old needed the toilet and obviously they’re tiny and we were sitting right next to it and a lovely older lady offered to hold my baby whilst I took DS to the toilet (she overheard him asking) and I made a judgment call. All was OK and she really loved having a little cuddle with a baby!

strangerontheinternet · 21/08/2024 20:33

I’d have done same, and think I have also laid baby on a toilet floor at swimming. Not ideal but they’re about to go in chlorine and get washed. Sometimes we’ve just got to pick the least bad option and then move on and forget about it!

Bax765 · 21/08/2024 20:33

I would have done the same! There's a pretty low risk that a grandparent watching her grandchildren during a swimming lesson is going to suddenly abduct your child.

amoobaa · 21/08/2024 20:29

Your baby is completely fine and you have enough to worry about without beating yourself up. Be kind to yourself.

Maybe use it as an opportunity to consider what you’ll do if a similar situation presents itself in the future… I used to bring a little waterproof roll up mat with me and if I had to I would lie my baby down on the floor of the toilet so they were safe and clean but I could see them.

Your partner might be right to worry about it but damaging your self esteem isn’t going to make you a better mum- you’re already doing the best you can.

Sending hugs and solidarity.

Catza · 21/08/2024 20:26

Seems perfectly fine. Nothing happened so, clearly, your judgement was solid. You didn’t pass her to someone on the street. You were in a controlled risk environment with plenty of cameras and a family who either have named membership or likely paid with a card which can be traced back to the lady. Non-issue.

JLM1981 · 21/08/2024 20:21

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 21/08/2024 20:17

I have done the same. Don't overthink it.

This.

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 21/08/2024 20:17

I have done the same. Don't overthink it.