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AIBU?

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Original poster

I don't care what issues your kid has you still need to parent them

457 replies

Differentstarts · 21/08/2024 19:17

I'm fuming just had a massive argument with my now ex friend because she won't parent her kid. I don't care if your kid is ND, NT or identifies as a tablecloth you still need to parent them. I was at my friends this afternoon with my kids 7 and 4 and her kids 9 and 5. Our eldest kids where sat together nicely watching a film and youngest 2 where playing. Her 5 year old suddenly decides she wants to watch telly and picks the remote control up and changes the channel. My friends response was to the eldest 2 just let her otherwise she will kick off you can watch the rest later. Her eldest just accepted this he's clearly use to it. However I'm not accepting that so I took the remote and put the film back on so with that screaming and tears
Her eldest was agreeing with his mum and saying it's OK I don't mind Which was also annoying me. Then my friend started having a go at me how iv upset her daughter and how the kids didn't even mind watching it later. I struggle with anger issues so at this point I'm losing my shit at her (I know I shouldn't have) and I got my kids and left. I'm still fuming. I know I should of just left straight away but come on what is wrong with people

Yabu. If the eldest 2 where happy to watch it later you should of gone along with it
Yanbu she needs to discipline her daughter

OP posts:
XChrome · 21/08/2024 19:31

TheClawDecides · 21/08/2024 19:23

YANBU

But you did exactly the same as the child when you didn't get your own way.

B.I.N.G.O.

WaitingForMojo · 21/08/2024 19:30

Differentstarts · 21/08/2024 19:23

I can't believe your all saying I'm being unreasonable why should her eldest kid get treat like shit just because she can't be bothered to parent her youngest

They shouldn’t. But it’s her house, her children and not your call to make. Plus you are an adult, not a disabled child, and you behaved pretty badly.

sleekcat · 21/08/2024 19:29

You were unreasonable taking the remote and putting it back on, you undermined your friend in her own home. Even though she handled it badly, it's her home and not up to you. You could only have done that if they were your guests.

XChrome · 21/08/2024 19:29

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You would know her better than her mother, naturally. 🙄

BarHumbugs · 21/08/2024 19:29

So, what are your reasons for not being able to control your temper? Were you badly parented or never told no?

TomatoSandwiches · 21/08/2024 19:28

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Not your house and not your child.
If you have a problem ( you clearly have more than a few ) then you take your children and leave.

purpleme12 · 21/08/2024 19:28

This thread is so strange with how unaware OP is about how she's coming across, that I wonder if it isn't made up!

XChrome · 21/08/2024 19:28

YABU. You were a guest in her house. What she says goes in her home. If you don't like it, you don't have to go there and it sounds like you won't.
You don't get to correct her on her parenting at all, let alone as a guest in her home.
Yes, she probably shouldn't give in like that. However, maybe she is just too exhausted for yet another battle. If you don't have an ND kid you don't have any idea what she's dealing with.

coxesorangepippin · 21/08/2024 19:27

It’s obviously not ideal that your “friend” isn’t correcting her daughter’s behaviour but you, as an adult, don’t get to throw a tantrum

^

She's just adulting, no tantrum involved

TomatoSandwiches · 21/08/2024 19:27

I wouldn't be taking someone else's remote and changing the TV in their house.

You sound like you have similar anger issues to your friends toddler.

Anonymouseposter · 21/08/2024 19:26

YABU, you may disagree with the way she handled it but you were in her home and had no right to pick up her remote and change the channel, also shouting and losing your temper wasn't right. It would have been more helpful to talk to her about it some other time, but you may have clashed and fallen out anyway. You probably wouldn't have liked your friend to take over and tell you how to "parent".

PilgorTheGoat · 21/08/2024 19:26

I would assume her mother has more idea than you on whether or not her child is ND and at 5 it’s unlikely she would’ve received a formal diagnosis yet.

coxesorangepippin · 21/08/2024 19:26

Couldn't agree more

Read the holiday thread that's currently turning out to be a disaster, due to parenting like you've seen today

DinnaeFashYersel · 21/08/2024 19:26

What's with all the ableist threads tonight?

And I struggle with anger issues so at this point I'm losing my shit at her

At least the kid was 5 and ND. What's your excuse?

Differentstarts · 21/08/2024 19:25

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Moier · 21/08/2024 19:24

You were in someone else's home as a guest.
You do not get to decide.
Seems like you were more childish than the children.

financialcareerstuff · 21/08/2024 19:23

lol - why are you making this about ND? There is no mention of the daughter being ND in the story.

Ironically, you are, however, seeking to excuse YOU throwing a strop by saying you have anger issues!!??

So basically you and a five year old both threw a strop. And you are pissed at the five year old.... Grin

neverbeenskiing · 21/08/2024 19:23

I think you both behaved badly tbh. I agree with you that she shouldn't have let her child change the channel..but she did, and you were a guest in her home so it was rude of you to take it upon yourself to pick up the remote and change it back. It was also not ok to "lose your shit" at her in front of both your children. So as much as I agree she shouldn't be allowing her child to behave like that, you lost the moral high ground when you started behaving like a child yourself.

TheClawDecides · 21/08/2024 19:23

YANBU

But you did exactly the same as the child when you didn't get your own way.

PeloMom · 21/08/2024 19:23

It doesn’t take a lot to say you’ll take a turn when the older kids are done. They have X minutes left. Do you want to play with X or y until they’re done.

Original poster
Differentstarts · 21/08/2024 19:23

I can't believe your all saying I'm being unreasonable why should her eldest kid get treat like shit just because she can't be bothered to parent her youngest

OP posts:
PilgorTheGoat · 21/08/2024 19:23

You were very rude taking the remote yourself and changing the channel in someone else’s house. More rude than the disabled child.

It’s obviously not ideal that your “friend” isn’t correcting her daughter’s behaviour but you, as an adult, don’t get to throw a tantrum.

Clementine22 · 21/08/2024 19:22

It sounds like your reaction was extreme and immature, I sort of understand both points of view but you haven’t handled this well.

YABU

Pandasnacks · 21/08/2024 19:22

You were as unreasonable as her child, except you are not 5 and it wasn't your home. It's incredibly rude to undermine your friends parenting of her own children in her own home to suit your kid.

HelloMiss · 21/08/2024 19:22

PilgorTheGoat · 21/08/2024 19:20

Nice job making out like being ND is akin to “identifying as a tablecloth”

How did you arrive at that conclusion?

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