I don't care what issues your kid has you still need to parent them

Wow. You were so out of line. At least you admit to having anger issues. I applaud you for self-awareness. Please take the next step and seek counselling. I also suggest you message your friend a simple apology, and I say message so that you don't lapse into justifying your behaviour. A simple, I am so sorry for my behaviour, would suffice.

The older children are obviously more mature than you an adult woman.🙄🤔

Hi OP, you seem to lack any appreciation or insight into the needs of children with special needs who may require a different type of parenting according to their needs.
And it was completely wrong for you to take the remote control out of child's hand! You owe your friend an apology

Thats not how I read the OP

OP shouldnt have acted that way in someone elses home (taking the remote from the daughter), but I wouldnt want my kids exposed to selfishness and would have made an excuse to leave and explained to them that this is not how we act towards each other

Wasnt right you caused a scene but you are right about parenting the child.

You sound like you have trouble regulating your emotions.
I wouldn’t want you around my children.
Your angry outburst will have been more damaging to your child than having the channel changed.
I know adults who have been severely affected by big displays of rage from their parents when they were young.

Erm . . . isn't it your friend's house ?

Interesting that you won’t be told your behaviour is not ok. You want vindication for your reaction; I get it. It is probably quite shaming to be told what you did is wrong. But refusing to take it on board says to me you have no real interest in being better and this is probably one of many incidence of this sort of behaviour your children have been subjected to. You do realise that you are teaching them something way worse than the other mother’s example?

Hardly a hill to die on. Plus its someone else’s house, and you gotten angry and started kicking off?

if I were your friend I would have been so happy to see the back of you 🙄

Fortunately she is far more understanding and empathetic to her brothers needs.
She has no issue taking a break, then going back to things a few mins later.

She is also prioritised plenty, just not when her brother is struggling.

Exactly this. With ASD parenting, you have to play the long game! Clear but flexible boundaries were vital. At 5 my DS was very like this. At nearly 23, he is polite, courteous and more than capable of taking turns in spite of his otherwise rigid nature. If this child IS ND then this is an entirely typical example!

I completely agree with you. A ND child becomes an ND adult and the world is an unforgiving place. Boundaries need to be set.

There is another current thread on here with a mum going away with her two adult children and her sons friend - who is being a nightmare and they think is probably ND. People are saying terrible behaviour, send him home.

So how does letting a ND child get away with anything to make life easy become a ND adult that acts unacceptably. You cant have one without the other!

It’s good that you have some insight that your behaviour was inappropriate although clearly not enough if you don’t believe you owe her an apology. You do realise that kicking off at someone in front of their children is super unusual, toxic behaviour ? I would be furious if someone acted this way in front of my children. I’m sure you’re going to get a horrible reputation if you don’t have one already which is crappy for you and for your kids.

Your poor children, OP, living with a parent with uncontrollable anger issues.

Probably like the op just throwing tantrums when she doesn't like a situation 🤔

@@Differentstarts

I agree. Parenting, manners ..................

I'm with you on this and glad you stood up to your (ex) friend. Parents make too many excuses for their lazy parenting. Hopefully she will realise she needs to step up as a parent.

Op managed it correctly once in her first post, so one would assume she knows!

I don't think you were unreasonable at all. Too many parents are too keen to put labels on their unruly offspring to excuse their shitty, bratty behaviour. I dread to think what 'Mummy's Little Princess' is going to be like when she's an adult.

The problem is you took her remote control for her TV in her house.

If this had happened in your home then you would have been well within your rights to do that.

But not in her house.

In her house it's her decision - whether you agree with it or not.

As pp have said, you should have got your kids and left.

Yabu.
Not your house, your tv or your rules.

This is a regular occurrence in our house, it’s a massive issue but DS5 with ASD / Autism hasn’t learnt to wait or take turns yet. He just has huge meltdowns which can quickly become violent.

when it’s just family at home we follow a routine of enforcing a short waiting time that he is able to manage because regularly practicing this is helping him slowly develop this skill). Then he has a turn. Then DD gets to finish her programme.

however, if we had people over we wouldn’t do this. DS is already heightened by having people over and less able to tolerate things. So I’d not have challenged him as it could have be violent meltdown within seconds which I would rather avoid in front of guests.

it’s not a case of not parenting. It’s a case of parenting in the way which is needed in that particular circumstance.

A very valid point!

Yeah but they didn't get to watch the film did they? Regardless of what you did.