I don't care what issues your kid has you still need to parent them

And I couldn't be around someone so childish to blow something so trivial out of proportion.

They are simply saying what they would do in that situation.
If someone was invited to my house, with my children present, and they started losing their temper with a 5 year old child, over something small yes, I'd want them out my house too!
IMO it was taken way out of proportion. Both sides may of acted wrong, but to resort to losing your temper is someone else's home over the way they choose to parent at that moment in time, isn't great is it?
Pick your battles moment.

The op said its typical of her outbursts... I'd 100% escort somebody out who was threatening me no excuses needed this is my home nobody can come In here trying to intimate me in it under any circumstances

On the basis of this post, I agree with you, @Differentstarts, that your friend needs to parent her dd better, and stop favouring her over her son. From what I have read on here, in Golden Child/Black Sheep situations (which this sounds like), neither child benefits. The black sheep knows their parent doesn’t love them the way they love the sibling, and that is bound to cause childhood trauma (far, far more than mum’s friend getting angry), and the Golden child doesn’t learn the skills to survive and thrive in a world that doesn’t centre them all the time.

I think you are asking more than one question here.

Is it OK that a 5 year old changed the channel when someone else was watching something? (No)

Is it OK that your friend didn't intervene and say "you can have your choice later, there's X minutes of this left so they are going to finish watching this first"? (No)

Is it OK that you "lost your shit" in front of 4, 5, 7 and 9 year old children? (No)

You were all unreasonable and you need to calm down and should probably apologise to your friend. And to her children.

You are literally wrong - go back and read all the gentle parents who said they would have used violence on the OP if they had been the other mum.

So the threats were indirect and that’s ok with you?

Not one person kind enough to point out the cruelty in Bumblebeestiltsmum’s comment…

Why not remove your hand from your face and read the angry comments.

No you did when you decided to take it upon yourself to override her parenting in her home where you were a guest in some rediculous scene you are now ranting about on Mums net even though you are coming across emotionally unstable and aggressive and like social services needs to be involved to protect your children from the impact of your personality disorder 😕

There are literally no threats made. 🤦‍♀️

Bullying is a tad extreme. From what has been said I wouldn't say the 5 year old in question was bullying the rest of them. Majority of 5 year olds don't even know what bullying is fgs.
None of us are angry, or certainly from what I've seen nobody is. But from what OP has replied to and said, she hasn't helped herself.
If you think retaliating with a temper infront of children of any age not in your own home is ok, then you're wrong. She should of been the better person, collected her things and moved on.. simple as that.
She posted on here for opinions. People have given them. If she doesn't think she did anything wrong and she's right, as she has stated, then she didn't necessarily need to post on here in the first place.

No, that’s not what she said. She said she couldn’t remember and then she guessed at what she might have said. This honesty gave the bullies ammunition and what a bunch of hypocrites they’ve proved themselves to be.

She has now been bullied and threatened by so many on this thread that I’ve lost count.

Even the charming super mum who weaponised the OPs lack of parents herself has failed to apologise for her nasty remark.

@graceinspace999 the OP has been very open that she shouted/swore/threatened her friend and was in a rage so bad she can't remember what she said, and that this was done in front of the children. These are the OPs own words, not assumptions!

So you’re so anxious to defend your own threatened aggression that now you’re assuming the OP was threatening her friend.

I think you’re part of a pile-on here which is one of the worst I’ve seen on Mumsnet.

I feel sorry for her, but I feel my re sorry for her kids. She needs to break the cycle, but all she's doing is revelling in her behaviour and arguing with everyone who disagrees.

I'm not aware of any updates, but some parents allow their children to dominate the house. Personally, I have no tolerance for this type of parenting. However, since it's her house, I'll continue socializing and then move on from the situation.

The op has said she can't remember what she said but it usually involves shouting/swearing/threatening if somebody did that in your home you ARE under threatening conditions 100% I'd defend myself in that situation

You are the adult OP and you need to model normal adult behaviour for your children when there is a conflict however hard it is.

For arguments sake let's say the 5 y old girl is a spoilt little brat who actually needs firm boundaries (like all children). What you could have done is stood up for the elder children and CALMLY pleaded their case to your friend. If friend still wanted princess to have her way you could have CALMLY said that then you will have to leave with your children because you don't think it's fair to let one child's desire rule over all the others.

See. You could have made your point and kept your dignity and showed your children that you stood up for them in a normal civilised way without retorting to throw a tantrum like a 2 y old.

YANBU and I am so sick of people justifying their kids bratty behaviour because they can’t be arsed to parent and discipline their kids.

ND or NT you still parent. You don’t just let your kid get what they want because it’s easier. What exactly is that teaching them? I feel sorry for the other child.

Can you go any lower with the insults to this woman?

If you were as calm and considerate as you think you are you’d have some decency and apologise for saying something so nasty.

@graceinspace999

Of course this made OP angry.

It's one thing being angry - but surely that's the point you tell the kids it's time to leave, and walk away before your anger escalates. It's entirely another to lose your shit so badly you swear, shout and make threats and are in such a rage that you can't remember what you said.

Surely you can understand the difference?

You’d have physically kicked her out the door! So you’ve got violence issues but that’s ok.

Who’s the hypocrite here?

This is a prime example on how children are held to higher standards than adults. A very young ND child no less.

No she didn't parent the way you would.

But with 5 year olds especially ND you pick your battles.

The 5 year old has years to learn how to regulate and take turns.

Might be too late for OP....

Lucky she wasn’t assaulted????

She intervened in one child bullying several others by switching the program off that they we’re watching.

OP was invited to the house and that didn’t include conceding a free pass to her kids being bullied.

The other mum was wrong and should have stopped it herself but she didn’t and when OP intervened the daft mother had a go at her!!!

Of course this made OP angry.

Most of the posters here are so easy triggered into anger that they’re throwing angry insults at a complete stranger on a public platform and some of you are also talking about assaulting her.

WTF 😳

To be honest, it's a bit rich to say children need to regulate their emotions from 2 or they'll be brats (to the extent you claim that your kids didn't really have tantrums post 2 years old) when you go into such blind rages that you forget what you've said and done. As an adult. And parent. In front of children.

Don't you see the hypocrisy there?

You're expecting more emotional regulation from toddlers and primary ages children than you are from yourself.

My youngest is nearly 5 and rest assured his tantrums are still high force, worse than my older 2 sons were 🤣😂 who's to say they stop at 2?
They're still learning at 5.