To be so fucking angry. How many more women and children must die?

You don't think this:

'You do have some control over whether said sicko can suceed in raping and murdering you. Reference: attempted rape and attempted murder cases.'

is an incredibly hurtful thing to say?

Because it is a breathtakingly crass and awful thing to say.

pleas confirm you are not directing that to me. That is an incredibly hurtful thing to say, if it was.

Yes I know we don’t have complete control, I never said we did.
I disagree that it was just circumstances lining up for me to get away- it wasn’t dumb luck or Jesus or fate- I did what I had control over and it happened to be enough.

Yes I know I am not better than you, never said or even hinted I was think that.

The reason I got upset was the hostile tone and nasty comments about and to me.

The way others communicated was dismissive, belittling, and included abusive swearing at me. How about their tone?

Saying ‘Are you fucking serious?” Tell me how their tone was better than mine? Tell me how that kind of communication is less upsetting?

One said that surviving attempted murder & rape and was “irrelevant” and then proceeded to post several posts about attempted sexual assault and murder. How is that sort of communication? It says I dismiss your lived experience of attempts, but think I’m in a better position to pontificate on women like you who have experienced them.

It was disingenuous and insulting for a poster to accuse my saying that attempted rapes and murders exist as saying “are you saying women let men…”
How was their tone then?

If you’re right and the way others communicate was so better, then expect more swearing and aggressiveness from me because that is the type of communicator you are defending.

A Crown Court Judge could explain the following to a jury. I don't know about the training that Male Police officers receive.

Experience has shown that different people can respond to unwanted sexual activity in different ways. Some may protest and physically resist throughout the event. But others may be unable to protest or physically resist. This may be out of fear or because they are not a very forceful person. In law there is a difference between consent and submission.

A person consents if they agree to something when they are capable of making a choice about it and are free to do so. […] But when a person gives in to something against their free will, that is not consent but submission. They may submit due to threats, out of fear or by persistent psychological coercion. In those situations, they do not have free choice and this does not amount to consent freely given. If a person decides not to struggle, feels unable to do so or gives up struggling, that is not the same thing as consent.

You were lucky to have had opportunities.
Not all of us get that.

It doesn't make you better or us weak.

It's not about control, it's that circumstances lined up for you to get away.

The reason people are upset with you is your tone and the way you communicate. It is horrible and I very much question your intentions on this thread.

The message should be, this should not be happening to us, what can we do about it? Stick together, sympathise, support each other to be able to protest loudly, " We are not going to tolerate this".

Another one completely missing the point being made originally. It's almost like male police attitudes of " why didn't she fight back? Therefore it must have been consensual". Good thing if you're old enough and strong enough, not to mention brave, however a small child, vulnerable person or frail old lady in her own bed wouldn't be able to fight off a grown man would they?

It’s your nasty minds going there, not mine.

As a survivor I think it is very relevant that I am alive and not dead with being raped my last experience on Earth.

Well, today I am now feeling survivor guilt. What is sisterhood when you get shat on by poster after poster just for posting that not all attempts end in a sicko suceeding in killing and raping you. You have stood up for my dead body, but not my scarred body and mind.

Oh, and editing to add you shat on me for speaking of attempts and then you posted several about attempted asexual assault, so hypocritical!

Look, I am sorry all this happened to you, but I survived an attack and so I do not understand all the vitriol being aimed at me by you as the 3rd poster simply because I survived and have posted that sickos don’t always suceed, that we have some control. I didn’t survive because he changed his mind, or I was only lucky, I seized the chances I was offered to get away.

Would you rather he had succeeds? Is that it?

Yes I am “fucking serious”. Not every attack succeeds. If it did, I’d be dead and I would likely have been raped as I bled out.

Not in the slightest. I am saying quite realistically, that a sicko merely deciding they want to rape and/or kill you doesn’t mean they will succeed if they make the attempt. It’s got nothing to do with “letting” it happen, but recognising the fact that we are not helpless infants.

I say this as someone who survived such a sicko who jumped me with a knife and tried to stab me, slashed my arm as it got it up in time instead of my chest, and I pushed him over as he was off balance doing the down stab and as he floundered on the ground, I took off running.

All I am saying is that attempted rapes and murders do happen. It’s not case that for every sicko trying we have a dead woman. That counting homicides is not the true scale because there are attempts too.

Imagine if two million men were being raped, beaten or killed every year just because they are men.

If women are imagining a threat then why are the police going along with the pretence? VAWG accounts for 20% of all police-recorded crimes – more than 1m offences a year. Police believe the actual numbers are higher.

''Violence against women a ‘national emergency’ in England and Wales, police say.
National Police Chiefs’ Council analysis reveals 2m women a year estimated to be victims of male violence.
Recorded cases of VAWG increased by 37% between 2018 and 2023, now running at 3,000 offences a day.''

https://www.theguardian.com/society/article/2024/jul/23/violence-against-women-national-emergency-england-wales-police

Yes, it absolutely is gaslighting to say women are imagining a threat when we have proof the threat of assault is very real. We are being told the that the reality of our lived experience is fiction. It's vile.

Unfortunately this appeared in entirety the wrong place it was meant to agree with someone's suspicions about the sex of a particularly defensive poster.

The people who targeted the Vienna Taylor Swift concert wanted to kill 'tens of thousands'. Who goes to TS gigs? Predominantly girls. Also the knife attacks in Southport, and Ariana Grande...mostly girls again. Coincidence?

https://apnews.com/article/taylor-swift-cia-vienna-concerts-foiled-attack-7e454af63efcff2a3ab0a20c718aba8d

At last! I think this is called gaslighting, men are doing this on all social media. No decent woman would 1) defend men in this way and 2) have the time to argue every point with every woman. They just can't keep out of women's spaces.

You really have no idea. IRL, you probably won't even know who's been assaulted and who hasn't. Contrary to popular belief, we don't go around talking about it as a badge of honour. I would never assume to know something about things that you know nothing about.

@Katypp

Can you tell me why, when specific women killers are mentioned, they are brushed aside as one-offs, yet specific female victims are mentioned, they are accepted as a trend?
I stand by hyperbole, hysteria and misandry and I have managed to get to my late 50s without ever feeling terrified to go out or threatened every time I leave the house.
Sorry but I think you are mostly ridiculous on this board.

Wow. You're pretending to be objective but you're just being wilfully thick because you enjoy aggravating women.
The answer to your question is because specific female killers are memorable for being so rare, while specific female victims are memorable for being so common as to often not be reported unless there's something unusual about their case- like Sarah Everard being an innocent woman walking home murdered by a serving police officer in uniform. Zara Aleena was a tipping point case of yet another innocent woman just walking home attacked by a random man, purely for being a woman.
You know all this though don't you, you just don't have an issue with it.
I remember an article at the bottom of a boring news feed about a burnt female body found by the side of the road in Wolverhampton or somewhere - how can that be so common as to be bottom of a list of uninteresting events?
It's appalling and it needs focus, investment and education of men and boys to be addressed.
Did anyone see this? We can teach kids to be more reasonable and empathetic - boys/men can learn to manage their emotions and control their anger if it is given the right attention, see consent lessons too:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cly81j7z34wo.amp

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/article/2024/aug/29/men-killing-women-girls-deaths?utm_term=Autofeed&CMP=twt_gu&utm_medium&utm_source=Twitter#Echobox=1724908293

Whevs.

So sorry, love.🩷
The way this person is trivializing these experiences and gaslighting women about their wholly justifiable fears is grotesque.

It was just a snarky little quip, dude.

This "being afraid of rape means women are playing the victim" bullshit certainly does nothing to convince me that my suspicion that you are a male is misguided. 🙄

I am so sad the women who have recounted terrible experiences and shared awful memories have been met with silence here on this thread. I hear you. I am so sorry.