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AIBU?

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To be in tears over how destructive my 2.5 year old is?

246 replies

AngeloMysterioso · 21/08/2024 11:47

So far today, he has:

-Smashed a soap dispenser bottle I bought three weeks ago to replace the last soap dispenser bottle he smashed

-Opened a new packet of wet wipes and pulled out every single one

-Got all the bagged toys out of the toy box (I separate things like puzzle pieces, little toy cars, wooden blocks etc into the big zip lock bags so they’re easy to find) opened every single bag and chucked the contents on the floor (without playing with any of them)

-Opened a new storage box I bought last week for his toy trains, emptied it all over the floor, and then jumped up and down on the empty box until it cracked and broke

-Poured fruit juice all over the coffee table and splashed it everywhere with his hands, so now it’s also all over the carpet

-Taken all the sofa cushions off the sofa, unzipped the covers and pulled all the stuffing out.

I just sat down and wept. We’ve got a very small home and three DC, and I’ve been working so hard to make it a nice space for us in spite of how cramped it is, but my day to day existence just seems to be going from one mess or broken thing to another. I just feel like giving up.

OP posts:
MumApril1990 · 21/08/2024 15:36

Just want to respond to the ‘supervision’ comment that her child would become very upset/ tantrum if she micromanaged each playtime taking all items out of their hands and telling them ‘no’ constantly!

Also children this age need independent play for development.

AngeloMysterioso · 21/08/2024 15:35

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Why are you still here?

Are you enjoying making me feel like crap?

If not, given that I’ve asked you to stop it and leave me alone…

why are you still here?

OP posts:
MumApril1990 · 21/08/2024 15:35

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this, anyone would be upset and overwhelmed. My 2yo is very similar. I put them to play in the garden quite often as I don’t mind that being a tip (me in kitchen with french doors open) don’t know if that’s an option for you.

BeQuirkyJadeBird · 21/08/2024 15:33

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AngeloMysterioso · 21/08/2024 15:31

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Heaaag · 21/08/2024 15:30

I understand OP. Similar here. It’s so hard. ❤️

Greentreesandbushes · 21/08/2024 15:29

OP I don’t think that people are having fun laying into you. You need to be with your toddler, don’t leave him on his own with stuff he can get into. Either put him in a safe space, like a play pen. or take him with you when you leave the room to sort baby, pee, whatever.

BeQuirkyJadeBird · 21/08/2024 15:28

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AngeloMysterioso · 21/08/2024 15:26

Ok. I’m bowing out now. I was already having a tough day and there seem to be a few posters who want nothing more than to keep telling me I’m a shit mother, and since they’re having too much fun laying in to me to leave it there, I’m going to.

My thanks to those who made actual helpful comments and suggestions.

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 21/08/2024 15:26

I had two like this at once (twins)

In the summer I used to lock us all out in the garden, so nobody could go inside.

Take the potties out as well and a chair to sit in and bob's your uncle.

We had a water table and a sandpit and so so many outside toys

Greentreesandbushes · 21/08/2024 15:26

He’s a toddler, keep stuff out of reach and don’t leave him out of sight or unsupervised. He could have come to harm when jumping on box etc. try a play pen in same room as you? Take him everywhere with you.

NowImNotDoingIt · 21/08/2024 15:24

He is NOT a destructive toddler. He's a normal, curious toddler with some impressive fine motor skills!

I'm an adult and most child locks/baby gates baffle me.Grin

NowImNotDoingIt · 21/08/2024 15:22

@Bignanna tbh I don't even remember since it was around 10 years ago. Nothing to replace, just a pain in the arse to clean.

She also did the whole tipping down boxes of toys everywhere, normally just as I finished tidying them .Grin

Yeah it was annoying and frustrating and a lot of work, but it wasn't the end of the world. I can say that now since I'm so far removed from the situation.Grin

AlmostThere88 · 21/08/2024 15:20

Stick him in a playpen?

AngeloMysterioso · 21/08/2024 15:19

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BeQuirkyJadeBird · 21/08/2024 15:19

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AngeloMysterioso · 21/08/2024 15:19

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Who says we’re sitting, watching, allowing?

Please, I beg you. Go away.

OP posts:
BeQuirkyJadeBird · 21/08/2024 15:18

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AngeloMysterioso · 21/08/2024 15:18

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BY ME NOT BEING IN THE FUCKING ROOM.

Sometimes I have to change nappies. Sometimes I have to clean up a different mess. Sometimes I am engaging with my eldest child because he exists as well. Sometimes I’m on the fucking toilet.

Seriously, take your superiority complex elsewhere.

OP posts:
BeQuirkyJadeBird · 21/08/2024 15:16

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AngeloMysterioso · 21/08/2024 15:15

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Fuck me, you are just determined to stick the boot in aren’t you?

Does it occur to you that, with 3 children, one being a small baby, I cannot be in all places at all times?

Please could you go and should all over someone else.

OP posts:
Bignanna · 21/08/2024 15:15

NowImNotDoingIt · 21/08/2024 15:02

Remove/hide/put high up any of the significant things that could get broken, you don't want him to have access to.

Some of the things you mention, can be overwhelming and frustrating(especially for you as an adult) , but it's just play, sensory seeking and curiosity. Honestly not a big deal. Like the wipes. We actually had a billion packs around to keep DD busy.Grin
Same with the cushions, if they can be put back together in some way... meh.

I'm going against the herd here, but all the things you mention, are fairly normal for kids that age.

He seems very dexterous and able and curious. What I would advise is to have things around that suit his needs, without creating too much work for you.

Loads of messy play (set up in the garden if easier) sand, water, pasta , containers, rice , flour , corn flour and water, play doh etc. or buy a shower curtain and cover the floor with it and let him play on it. Containers with various substances and textures. Zip lock bags with pom poms, cotton wool etc in them. A backpack/ bag with various zips and compartments he can root through. A few drawers at his height with Tupperware, pots, pans, plastic bowls, plastic cooking tools that he can bang and explore as much as he wants.
Toys that involve opening /closing and putting things in and out. Let him be messy where it's easy to clean up, in the bath, tiled floors etc.

Make him help tidy up/fix something he broke (like restuffing the cushions).

DD is a polite, beautifully behaved 12yo.This is coming from teachers and other adults in her life. At that age she... painted the telly, painted the sofa in sudocrem(and ate some), painted the balcony doors in yogurt and many more. See a pattern there?Grin

How did your DD manage to do all those messy things , must have taken some time! Where were you while it was happening?
All these children wrecking stuff- must have cost a fortune to replace!

xILikeJamx · 21/08/2024 15:14

My nephew was like this at that age. When they came to visit, if you turned your back for a few minutes he would have every drawer and storage piece open and emptied onto the floor. Toys everywhere and not playing with them - just opening the next thing and tipping it out. It was infuriating at the time, but he's 7 now and a normal kid - obviously just a phase that he grew out of.

BeQuirkyJadeBird · 21/08/2024 15:06

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exprecis · 21/08/2024 15:02

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Agree but also if the baby going on the boob is a big trigger for poor behaviour from the 2 year old, it's worth thinking about particular strategies for it.

I used to do things like reading books to my 2 year old, setting him challenges (like how fast can you run around the room or how tall a tower can you make), bit of TV... Lots of praise when he behaved well.

It's not realistic to expect a 2 year old to entertain themselves when you are bf a baby

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