To be in tears over how destructive my 2.5 year old is?

Metal cage from wrestling lol I joke hugely op.

Didn't know fort Knox made playpens 😁🤣

No idea if it's been suggested, but can you get a playpen? Keeps him safe, and protects your home if you need to do something else!

@Zerro 👌👌👌

I met a friend today. Our DC were friends at school and are now approaching 30. We had a conversation about this phase in parenting.

My two were 2 years apart and exactly as you describe. We basically made the house bomb proof. Everything was moved up or away. I vividly remember feeling a total failure when visiting a friend with two the same age. Her house was like a normal house with ornaments! She smugly raised her eyebrows and explained that she just said no and her children wouldn't dream of climbing the furniture or pulling books off the bookcase etc.

Many toddlers are like this and if yours are not you are just LUCKY, not a better parent.

You can do no more OP. I'm sure sibling rivalry has escalated it but all you can with three under five is keep them safe and fed. Everything else will get better.
FWIW 2 to 4 was the hardest bit for me, the rest was a dream, including teenage years.

A toddler breaking things and a destructive toddler aren't the same thing. Destructive implies he is deliberately trying to destroy something. I don't think this is the case, it's more like the manner in which he investigates his environment often end up with thing getting broken 🫠

He seems to like destructive play so build it into your day.

Give him a pile of old paper he is free to rip up. And explain clearly that these are things we can rip. Nothing else. Give it to him just before you start feeding.

Or sit him in the bath/shower (you don't have to put water in it) and let him empty a cup or transfer water from one container to another. Get a chair and feed the baby where you can see him.

Find a space your four year old can play undisturbed. I have known several older children to take refuge in the playpen happily, especially the mesh kind arms can't be stuck though.

Put as many toys as possible well out of reach but leave the more robust, no bits, no sorting kind accessible.

It's a pain but try and find easy wins to make life easier til this stage passes.

After a quick glance through i see you are breastfeeding a younger one. These behaviours are not abnormal, nor are the naughty or deliverately destructive- a 2 year old just doesnt have the mental processing power for this to be the case. But, i am curious, How old is the baby? Was your 2 year old like this before the baby came home? Or did their behaviour become more extreme-in you opinion, after the new addition to the family?

Or is this just how they have always been and the baby has not affected their antics at all?

@AngeloMysterioso You are getting a bit OTT. The practical advice here could be followed. I didn’t have dc marking on walls as they weren’t given marker pens. Don’t give toddler all the toys at the same time. No juice unless sitting up to table. Water only in a cup and then not running around.

It’s not fair to say posters don’t have a clue. They just parent differently and try to avoid stress. You cannot control your stress. I did maintain a nice home for me and DH by the advice I gave. I didn’t want dc taking over my home so we had to work out how to live together. That meant DC having certain restrictions and limits and ignoring whinging, They couldn’t reach wet wipes or soap dispensers. In fact nothing breakable at all. So just look around and put what you value out of reach. Say NO and mean it.

Your son sounds like he is very intelligent as well as extremely energetic. When you look at what he’s actually doing, i feel like it’s kind of impressive he’s mastered all the child safety stuff. So that’s a good thing in the long term, but pretty hard just now. My dh was hyper and destructive as a child and my MIL has a lot of funny horror stories about what he got up to (he flooded the house once for example). Well now he is an amazing person still full of energy.
I just feel that with three young kids all you can do is be in survival mode and just accept your house will look a bit grim until they’re older.
it will change so much but you’re in the really hard bit now. I remember when I had just two little ones, looking round my flat in despair, it looked so disgusting and no matter how often I cleaned it, it was a disaster five minutes later. It made me feel like I never got anything done.
Honestly I think you are doing fine. There seems to be lots of good ideas on here but overall I hope you know that it’s just a really hard season and the chaos can really get to you at times. One day you’ll sit in a clean undestroyed house (when your kids are older) and it’ll be just a bunch of crazy memories. In the meantime don’t let your son’s behaviour make you feel negative about either him or about your parenting. Sounds like he is very inquisitive and needs loads of stimulation, maybe one day he’ll be running all over the world making discoveries, but for now he’s sort of discovering what happens when he wrecks things. All I’d say is make sure you enjoy him and see all the positive because with challenging toddlers it can sometimes be easy to forget to do this.

You are not the only one!

Perfection only exists on the internet (ref some of the posts on here 😂)

Do you have a secure garden? Confession here: I once sent all 3 of my chidlren into the garden and locked the door - frankly they were safer there at that moment!

I'm sorry @AngeloMysterioso i didn't read all your posts before i posted. I still think the post i quoted is good advice, but i didn't realise you were breastfeeding a baby as well.

My gdd is like your whirlwind child and i imagine caring for a baby alongside her would be equally as challenging.

Maybe just a great big declutter and a removal of anything that LO shouldn't be getting hold of.

This too shall pass 💐

The main way to regain control is by strategy. You need to control the environment so that they cant get into things

Try using these child locks

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dokon-Magnetic-Cupboard-Cabinets-Drawers/dp/B0746MZSJ6/ref=sr_1_5?crid=2JHF2E4FU2DA7&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Sa3x6XuXo1pp8c8GrE6PpY55K4DKLyQFcpeYKiAAMYvya2sbK6Pne_AURHB0dU6ZZfxTq61mr3E42FBe7oabQJr4Eap-kZN4yMIvSJFJAF5IO9i4uwi0TJ0gWGmEXKDp4HHyUz-U3rM9Xda_CJ5-0r7df-bDFNijKSsmyjW5lDK2xUo9B5m8bUtEls7JLYtgnGyO8F3ZHUiNvR2zebOiBZqyo_VU0LowTfmLMwVbO-vKyQ-8FzbWNF8KO6mbkDsHF3U0N6bSpNEIhF1atck4nEdnYARn-H2a8zcrSbvfbeo.cAn-OWPlWprcudeAuo4l72i9aJm73AQJGzhC_pjl2y4&dib_tag=se&keywords=child%2Block%2Bmagnetic&qid=1724252366&sprefix=child%2Block%2Bmagnetic%2Caps%2C213&sr=8-5&th=1

They only open with the magnet key. Keep the key in your pocket at all times
Put one on every drawer and cupboard. Even chest of drawers drawers. Shut everything religiously so there is not opportunity to create a mess.

Put a high hook and eye catch on the inside and outside of every room door. You can then 'lock' a door shut from the inside or outside. They are much too high for a child to get to. In an emergency a strong shove will pull them out and the door can be opened

Use your bedroom for storing toys that are not being played with that day and keep your bedroom door locked. Rotate the toys daily.

For the stair gate, look for an extra tall cat gate. they are almost impossible to climb and the opening mechanism is high up

Try to have a 2 pound rule - if it costs less than 2 pounds and is entertaining, then dont sweat about it being destroyed (boxes of tissues pulled out etc.)

Have a cupboard or somewhere close to the table where you can put stuff and lock away if you have to go to the door or change a nappy etc. Then all cups and potentially problematic items get put out of reach if you arent within arms reach.

and breathe, its difficult to live through it when they are toddlers, but the skills that are driving you batshit crazy right now will be assets when he is an adult.

Everything needs to go up high. Everything breakable removed. It will get easier.

This is excellent advice!

*really tough - definitely not reasonable!

@BeQuirkyJadeBird seriously, you aren't helping. You're just upsetting the OP who is already having a shit day. Please stop.

OP - I don't have anything practical to suggest but it sounds reasonable tough and I'm sorry you've got all this on your plate. Sorry too that some people just seem to want to stick the knife in.