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AIBU?

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Original poster

To leave DC at home alone all day

41 replies

StrawberrySwitch · 21/08/2024 09:08

DC is a sensible 12 year old - four months off 13. DH is working away and will be uncontactable. I am self employed and could book in appointments and could do with it - it’s list earnings. I think it’s fine for me to leave him home alone all day - I will be five min drive away. DH disagrees. He says it’s too long and what if an emergency happens. We live out in the sticks but he could walk to where I work if he needed to.

So AIBU to leave him home all day - 10 til 6pm.

OP posts:
ShoehornSheryl · 21/08/2024 09:44

At that age I was home from school until 1am some nights with my younger sibling whilst my (single parent) mum was at work.

Baleful · 21/08/2024 09:43

DS stayed alone all day occasionally aged 11, and was fine.

If your DH doesn’t like it, suggests he takes AL.

BumpyaDaisyevna · 21/08/2024 09:42

If you're only 5 mins away I think it's fine.

BumpyaDaisyevna · 21/08/2024 09:42

My parents are also in the next village so if I did leave him alone I would see if they could be "around" in case needed.

BumpyaDaisyevna · 21/08/2024 09:41

My youngest is the same age - a couple of months off 13.

Would certainly leave him all day with his 15 yr old sister also at home.

If needs must I would also leave him alone - he'd just be gaming all day and is sensible.

However he would get lonely so we would check in with him quite a bit.

zingally · 21/08/2024 09:32

Depends very much on the child.

It's a long time to be home alone, especially if they haven't experienced it before. Could you break the day up a bit? Maybe come home for a mid-afternoon cup of tea?

Original poster
StrawberrySwitch · 21/08/2024 09:28

Thank you all. He is very sensible. He cooks regularly and knows to set alarms if he’s leaving the stove. He’s fine with it. Most likely will be gaming with his friends. I could give him neighbours number in case he can’t get hold of me. I’ll pop back midday too.

OP posts:
Gilbertwasawuss · 21/08/2024 09:19

You know him best, some young teens are responsible... others would try to cook noodles and forget about it.

I used to spend overnights alone from about 13 (24hrs) and was fine.

Spotlightt · 21/08/2024 09:16

Ots fine but not every day like 5 days a week. That's a lot.

DoublePeonies · 21/08/2024 09:16

Given it sounds like it is absolutely a choice over when the appointments could be, could you either put in a long lunch break, and come home, or stop around 4pm?

OK, it was 7.30-4.30 but DS was left for inset days from aged 11 when DH was away with work (I was contactable). So if your child is happy with the arrangement, go for it - with or without the modifications above.

TFthatsover · 21/08/2024 09:15

It wouldn't be an issue for me if DC was usually sensible and I was able to check in by phone or text during the day or pop back for lunch if I was only a few minutes away between appointments. Agree that if DH doesn't like it he can arrange alternative childcare.

PumpkinPie2016 · 21/08/2024 09:15

At that age, as long as your son is comfortable with it, it should be fine.
I often stayed home at that age.
My son is almost 11 now and although not ready to be left that long, I more than happy for say half an hour while I nip to the shop. We also live rurally and have good neighbours (even if there are only a couple!).

Make sure he has a phone available and knows to keep the door locked and not answer it.

Discuss kitchen rules e.g. you can use the toaster/microwave but not the oven (or whatever is acceptable to you).

Make sure he knows what to do in the unlikely event of emergency.

He will be fine.

Funnywonder · 21/08/2024 09:15

I would do it if my child was ok with it. There are so many ways to keep in touch these days and, as you say, you're only a 5 minute drive away. My eldest would barely have noticed I was gone at that age. His brother, on the other hand, wouldn't like it at all. That's why, for me, it very much depends on the child.

otravezempezamos · 21/08/2024 09:11

If your DH is not happy about it, tell him oh well you will have to cancel your work trip then. Sorry but my job involves stepping outside the front door too!

If the kid is sensible, has access to a phone and an emergency number (neighbour, grandparent, trusted adult), it’s ok. Although maybe if he had a friend to hang out with it would be better. How does he feel about it?

Sirzy · 21/08/2024 09:10

I don’t see any issue, if your so close could you nip home and have dinner together?

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 21/08/2024 09:09

My son of the same age would also be fine, but I think he wouldn’t like it towards the end. Could you pop back in the middle of the day? Cut it short to 10-4?

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