Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

(Much) younger sibling

57 replies

Happiestwhen · 21/08/2024 09:08

I am 18 years older than my sister. She is now 20. She has always been spoilt since she was a child and has a very selfish attitude to life. She's completely self- absorbed and thinks the world revolves around her. She has no regard for what anyone else wants or needs. She doesn't buy birthday cards or presents for anyone, not even her parents let alone myself and my dc. No Christmas presents, nothing. All along I've thought she'd grow out of it and learn some regard for others so I've always given her money in a card for birthday/Christmas. But this has been going on years and nothing is changing. Aibu to not gift her anything going forward? I feel as I'm older it's probably expected and my parents might feel I'm being petty. But she's earning her own money now and I feel she should start paying her own way. She gives nothing towards rent , food or bills either.

OP posts:
Lurkingandlearning · 21/08/2024 09:27

Don’t give up hope. Apparently the human brain isn’t fully developed until age 25. Just hope she’s not a late developer

K37529 · 21/08/2024 09:26

You don’t need to buy her presents. You have your own dc to buy for and she is an adult. I would stay out of the rent situation, if thats what your parents have agreed to and you try and get involved you are likely going to cause a rift between yourself, your sister and your parents.

Spotlightt · 21/08/2024 09:20

Rent and everything, nothing to do with you. When did she start earning? You can't say "this had been going on for years" when she only became an adult 2 years ago.

BakeOffRewatch · 21/08/2024 09:19

That’s a normal teenager. Barely out of school style dynamics and groups and reality of adulthood and how to maintain relationships, what happens when you take them for granted not hit them yet. I wouldn’t make such a severe judgement on what they’re “just like” until they’re 24yo. Why are you so annoyed about it? You sound like you carry the resentment from when you were 18yo yourself. I wouldn’t do what you’ve said, you see her as a peer so are having expectations of her like that, when your kids are teens you’ll have a different view of what is reasonable to expect.

It doesn’t sound like she’s done anything wrong or egregious. Just been a typical inconsiderate young person.

2chocolateoranges · 21/08/2024 09:17

I stopped buying for my brother at 18. He earned way more than me and anything I bought he didn’t seem that interested so I stopped.

oh and I’m the baby of the family and still by my mum and nieces and nephews gifts. We aren’t all spoiled.

rent bills etc are between her and your parents,

TransformerZ · 21/08/2024 09:15

Rent, food, bills etc is between her and your parents - keep your nose out.

TransformerZ · 21/08/2024 09:14

She's the baby of the family - watch Dinosaurs - Baby Sinclair - that's their job!

These things are cultural.
My culture you don't care and actually don't want them to spend money on older people (not elderly).

My brother is 6 years younger than me, he's the baby, I don't want him wasting his money on me. But he can have anything be wants.
My other siblings are a year and a half age gap with me either side, they get nothing 😂