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AIBU?

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Original poster

Children on my front wall

135 replies

LighthouseTheme · 20/08/2024 23:22

I have a small wall (2 feet high maybe) at the front edge of my garden. The garden itself is small anyway - three big slabs width from the porch/front door (with a set back area under the front window, and a gated path down the side of the house to the back). There is also a low gate that I had put on as the fact that the path slopes slightly and there is no barrier between my neighbours, meant that it was sometimes used for scooters. [I do feel a diagram might help...]

It has only been in this last year that I have done much to the front - as it is south facing and almost any plants will certainly die. But I now have some hardy-ish ones in planters, a wreath on the side gate and a pear tree and honeysuckle trying their best on the side wall and high fence to the other side.

This last year, a new neighbour's daughter decided that the wall is perfect to walk along and jump off (I think she is 10). As my car is on the road outside, I would quite often see her do this. Despite having been friendly towards them, she often walks past and, without her mother seeing, and without looking back, gives me the finger gesture. I added some plants on the inside of the wall at two spots, making it pointless to walk along the full length of the wall, but she still did it, stepping on the leaves of the plants.

Tonight, I could hear loud voices right outside, and when I looked, a group of (definitely pre-teen) girls were on the wall, all facing my house, dancing and jumping around. There was definitely a goading feel to it - but I only (I think) know them by sight. By the time I had got myself together to go and speak to them, they had gone.

A little while later, I had gone out to my car, and two of them (plus a little boy, I think a brother) came back, not seeing me at first and climbing straight onto the wall. So, in the conversation we had, it seems that I have to let them do it as they "are kids", they want to learn to balance, I am unfair and spoiling their lives and basically what do I know, they can do what they want... oh, and I'm a Karen.

So, apart from this moan, I am at a loss. The wall covers the length front of both my house and next door and so at my side, there are the plants in pots at either "end", and usually a bowl of water for dogs on the pavement side. But nothing for the half of the length outside next door.

My pathetic passive-aggressive attempts to prevent it are obviously not enough to stop them - and I fully expect to be ramped up now - or worse (I live in/close to a not-so-great area - and have been burgled and bullied and targeted in the past); sadly, the behaviour even at the start seemed very "goady" anyway, so I don't doubt I have already done something to warrant it.

Oh, what to do?
And I don't really think IABU but maybe I should let them just carry on.... (which I don't want to do)

OP posts:
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6
Original poster
LighthouseTheme · 21/08/2024 10:49

MonsteraMama · 21/08/2024 10:37

Slightly off topic but I love the colour of your side gate and little bit of fence there, it's gorgeous!

Thank you😊
It's a Cuprinol Shades one I think...
the other side is a darker blue-green.

I dropped a can down the side path, so now have painted one slab the same colour all over, and where there were splashes, I made them into flowers.

OP posts:
MonsteraMama · 21/08/2024 10:37

Slightly off topic but I love the colour of your side gate and little bit of fence there, it's gorgeous!

MissMoneyFairy · 21/08/2024 10:35

No reaction can be the best reaction for these silly little bullies. What you need is the street king or queen to go tell them to stop disrespecting your property, or is there a street community youth worker who can tell them to grow up.

ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 21/08/2024 10:23

sarahzbaker · 20/08/2024 23:30

Actually/ go and say Hi. What gwan?
They will probably be horrified

What is up, fellow kids? 🛹

Original poster
LighthouseTheme · 21/08/2024 10:12

@Lovelysummerdays
Yes it is... I've attached a diagram.
The apartments are set back a little.
This house and next door were built on the large garden of the one next door but one, and the apartments were built on a plot of spare land next to the garden.
The old brick wall runs to the edge of this house's front "garden".

Children on my front wall
OP posts:
Original poster
LighthouseTheme · 21/08/2024 10:03

As stupid as it sounds, I do not intend to let their schedule dictate feeling relieved at the reduction in their behaviour. I hate wishing time away, and that is certainly not a reason for me to do it.
That said, I was on the lookout on a daily basis (sad, but true) for the girl who started it all (and gave me the finger). School times were easier to predict, and besides I was not always here - but if I was, I annoyed myself by looking out for her doing it.
This is when I started to add things out there - all of which, as @OhmygodDont says, was designed to seem as though it had happened naturally and I was just getting a bit more creative...
I even started to chain my bike up to the wall on the inside, to a tie-ring added specifically for the purpose. It definitely makes going along the wall pointless. But it always felt vulnerable to theft out there (never at night), as I have been burgled twice and had the house targeted - for eggs etc - several times. [During lockdown when there were massive fires at the back.]

What makes it so troubling to me is - as then - people, adults and children alike, have NO IDEA what a person living in a house, minding their own business (well, most of the time!) is going through at the moment. How do they know they aren't prancing and shouting and squawking around just a few feet away from someone who is very ill, physically or mentally? Or, maybe worse, someone who is just about a nano-second away from flipping out?

OP posts:
mrswhiplington · 21/08/2024 09:57

Put some well rotted manure all over your garden. The stink should shift them and it'll do wonders for your plants.😅

Balloonhearts · 21/08/2024 09:46

I'd keep going out for a chat m. Act completely oblivious to any rudeness and chat to them like they're 5 years old. Call them darling a lot and make reference to how sweet it is to see them all playing and putting on a 'performance' for you. It reminds you of your children when they were 'little' and would want to dance for you.

Any rudeness just chuckle and say how cheeky little ones are and how sad it is when they grow up so quickly. Really damage their street cred 😂

I guarantee after 2 or 3 of these chats, they'll avoid you like the plague.

Breadcat24 · 21/08/2024 09:42

As myfavouriteflowers said
wall top railings
You can get them on Amazon

You should not feel barricaded in as they let light through. I would be tempted to get pointy ones!

Children on my front wall
OhmygodDont · 21/08/2024 09:42

Problem is for those who say let them just play on it. Eventually it becomes damaged and then the bricks start falling apart. Our own little brick wall is in a terrible state from age and it being sat on and walked on since the day it was built it’s much older then me.

Since they are doing it to be goady whatever you do, needs to look like it’s not because they are getting to you. Extra stinky fertiliser, wooden planters with trellis on them to block some of your own view of the wall, inside you garden and you can grow climbing plants up it.

Evergreens in pots, anything should grow as long as you water it enough. Our entire back garden is south sun all day and it’s a very established full of plants garden including in pots.

Bellamari · 21/08/2024 09:35

Metal railing on top of the wall is the only solution. Anything else will just encourage them. When I was a kid we loved setting off sprinklers on purpose and getting squirted. We loved to do stuff outside the “crazy lady’s” house and when she came out we’d run away giggling. You need to make it not fun for them.

IfOnlyTheyWent · 21/08/2024 09:34

I think until you can find a better longer term solution that putting Jeyes fluid along the wall is a great idea, sorry I can't find the poster who said that. Hopefully as others have suggested once they are back in school they will be less of a nuisance.

GeilistheWitch · 21/08/2024 09:34

An ultra sonic repeller (Aka mosquito) on loudspeaker loop should do the trick: the sound is inaudible to adults.

Wigtopia · 21/08/2024 09:31

Could you bring out a chair and sit out the front? You’d simply be enjoying your garden, but would put them off lurking

Lovelysummerdays · 21/08/2024 09:30

Are you sure that front garden is all yours? It does look like your wall is out of line with the neighbours boundary and comes out onto the pavement. Might just be me though.

GreatMistakes · 21/08/2024 09:26

You want the Anti Teen Device 😆 emits a weird sound only kids can hear.

Or speak to a local gardener about planting a dog poo bush. Looks nice but stinks when it's cut 💩

Alternatively make yourself a polite nuisance and go out and make friendly chat Every. Single. Time. so they cross the road to avoid you. Get some nasty high sugar sweets and insist on giving them directly to the toddler so they either get fed up of being the bad guy taking them off them or have a sugar hyped kid.

Original poster
LighthouseTheme · 21/08/2024 09:23

Thank you for some great suggestions since I last wrote. And for some solidarity!
I do like the look of the fairly shallow railings/toppers, and am off to Wickes today anyway, so shall check some out. I do hope there is an easy way to attach them; drilling for the now removed little wooden planters (brackets) was a bit tough...
I am already considered to be something of a witch, but not in a good way at all. And I don't really know why.
This is a pretty bad area though, and everybody is related.... But I had the same in a quaint horsey village, so I know that a big part of it must be me.

Here though, it is so much more "in your face" and unkind - whereas there, my horse acted like a forcefield, and it didn't bother me [ as much].... And I had, as I said, something of a fan club amongst the children. Well, the horse did. But when I expressed safety concerns over their wishes to ride a 16.2 Thoroughbred, their parents withdrew them. I was actually relieved though. The horse would have been good, but I did not want the responsibility on our shoulders.
(I taught children to ride, in a more formal setting - and that's why this makes me sad.... they used to hang on every word I said back then My view of myself is a bit distorted by that, so this is a reality check I suppose.)

I am so reassured that a few people think that giving the finger is unacceptable, as I have certainly raised my tolerance bar since coming here. I am so out of touch and affected by how things are here, that I "let her" get away with it. She knows I know though, but when I hear her out playing near their apartment, I can sadly see how things are....
Yes, I have had, and expressed concerns over them falling off, and me being blamed - also, that's been my hesitation over harsh spiky plants, and anything that may do harm. So, so far, my approach has been quite - subtle. Which does leave room to ramp it up; which I have only wanted to do since the behaviour has been ramped up.

I am attaching a picture from this morning, so it's possible to see how small a space it is, and how close to the house. That's as much as anything, why it feels so intrusive. If it was a 40 foot garden (like the back), it wouldn't be as bad. But I'm still keeping my brambles, as I predict that's where they'll go today (could be wrong).

Here's the picture. I don't mind that it shows where I live.
Zoom in and in top left, you can see my witch sign (intended ironically when I put it up).

Children on my front wall
OP posts:
kinkytoes · 21/08/2024 09:18

Smear dog poo all along it.

That should keep them off lol

SlurpSlooChortle · 21/08/2024 09:15

Another vote for pyracantha- it is your friend for situations like this.
It grows really quickly too.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 21/08/2024 09:13

Get that liquid ass spray and spray it a couple of places along your wall

Conniebygaslight · 21/08/2024 09:12

Would you be liable OP if they fell off….?
I’d go for metal railings or bamboo in pots, it grows like mad.

Lovelysummerdays · 21/08/2024 09:08

I think you should add something possibly not the whole way along so you stilll have a sitting spot. It doesn’t necessarily need to be railings. I live near a village and there are some creative end of gardens. There’s one with slates on their side which reminds me of a dinosaur spine, trellis, railway sleepers again on their side as well as usual hedges / prickly plants.

Likewhatever · 21/08/2024 08:58

We used to have a low wall with a box hedge growing behind it. We let it grow high for privacy and also trimmed it over the wall so that there was no longer a “shelf”. It stopped people sitting on the wall for a rest although it also provided them with a convenient dumping ground for bottles and cans 🤬. If you get railings I’m afraid the young ‘uns will just lean against them.

Bettysnow · 21/08/2024 08:57

I know its hard but as a couple of previous posters have said ignore and they'll go away.
They're enjoying the reaction

MonsteraMama · 21/08/2024 08:50

Import some gympie-gympie and make a nice hedge. They'll only need to be prickled once.

(Obviously I'm not actually advocating for the plant based torture of the little turds but I feel your pain. Metal railing or studs would be the easiest solution I think).

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