when to stop buying DC's birthday presents?

I'd buy my dcs gifts or cash for birthdays until the day I die!
My nan did for all of her dc , gc and ggc. She insisted.

I’m 40 and DH is 42. Both sets of parents still buy us gifts but we buy them gifts and take them out for meals etc.

I'm 55 and some times they do and sometimes they dont

It never stops. My GM gave gifts until her 80s when she got dementia and POA for finances went to one of the ‘children’. At that point all the children (50s-60s) decided to stop as the gifts didn’t have meaning anymore. The children though all got their DM gifts until she died.

In my family we all keep on giving and receiving gifts and festive meals at all ages. The children get involved with buying and giving presents from a young age. I love buying presents!

Not really because if DSC complained you can just say I thought we weren't doing presents to each other anymore

DH and I still get birthday and Xmas presents from his parents and we’re in our forties! My dad also bought us presents until he died. I think the problem here is the lack of reciprocation. We always really push the boat out for the parents. I’d knock the meals on the head and start giving a token gift only unless they start getting you both something at your birthdays.

All your adult kids expect presents and money from you for their birthdays and don’t even get you a gift in return?

even if my mum told my to stop getting her gifts, I wouldn’t get her absolutely nothing while cheerfully accepting money and presents off her every year.

your kids all seem very selfish. I would normally say you’d get your kids gifts forever but that’s because it should work both ways. I guess if they’re not bothered about getting you gifts then you should just stop giving them in return?

The issue is that it’s one way.
Me and my mum still exchange gifts but meals generally for big birthdays.

I still get presents off my mum and I'm in my 50's! I buy her gifts too and we always go out to eat. I do the same with my DCs 23 and 21yo but I only occasionally buy for my DSCs who are in their 30's mainly cos I don't see them often.

If money is tight then stop spending it on pressies and meals.

Send a card and if you can stretch to it, invite them round for high tea - nice sandwiches and cake at your house either inside or in the garden or for a picnic in the park (assuming there are benches and tables you can use). I'd still want it to feel special for them, but cut the cost. Ask their partner to get the bday cake too!!!

I’m in my 30s and my mum still gets me something for my birthday, though I have said for the longest time that she really doesn’t need to - I also get her a gift in her birthday. However I think if you’ve spoken to your kids and money is tight, and they are understanding, stopping the gifts is fine. IMO there is more to life, and more to birthday celebrations, than gifts and buying and spending money etc. There are other ways to show you care.
As for DSC, that seems to be where the issue lies - not getting you a gift yet demanding you continue buying gifts for them. A tricky situation, one that I can’t really advise on. But if your other kids are understanding about no presents, and money is an issue for you, I think stopping the gifts altogether and treating all your children (DSC included) in the same way regarding this, is a fair way to go.

I think I would stop altogether for everyone at 30 (or whatever suitable age you come up with) or do one or the other, either a gift or meal, and not pay for anyone else for your own birthday meal (just have it for the two of you if necessary).

I would be devastated if my parents forgot my birthday, whatever age I was

However I also buy them a birthday present, when I was young the other parent brought a present for me to give to the birthday parent as I got older I was given money to buy one myself and then just brought it myself - same as I have done with my own children

My do buy me presents and I’m 48. I reciprocate and often cook for everyone on birthdays. I can’t imagine stopping with mine and I’d be hurt if they didn’t bother with a card or other minimum gesture.

I won't ever stop buying my adult children presents (or more often than not gifting money). That's unconditional on their buying us anything. But we are at a stage where we are comfortable, and they either have the money now or pay inheritance tax on it when we're gone

i stopped getting birthday presents when my mum died and my dad didn’t remember because it had always been my mums job.

You buy your own dc gifts and your dh gets his own dc gifts job sorted. Why should your own dc miss out.

Always exchanged gifts when I was on speaking terms with my parents.
Exchanged, rather than one way giving being the operative word.
& DM B'day was really close to Mothers day, so usually both as far as I recall.

Two meals out per child + gifts seems excessive - drop it to just token gifts?
& as for the SC that has never given gifts - that's up to her parents, not you.

I'm 54 and I still get a birthday present from my Dad. I also always buy him presents at Christmas and birthdays. I can't imagine stopping buying gifts for my children and frankly, I wouldn't want to.

30 sounds like a good age to stop at. As it's a big one get one last gift at 30 and leave it at that.

A birthday card every year is enough!

But then I’ve always encouraged the children to buy gifts relative to what they have. Pre-teens £5 per week pocket money might buy a night bar of chocolate or some wax melts type thing. Older teen, earning £50-£100 a week, might buy some slippers or pjs etc.

This is so dependent on circumstances I'm (almost) 40 and my parents still get me a present. Usually a £20 voucher or something of similar value. I never expect it but my DM wouldn't ever want to not get me something. One retired one on low income. I have always brought them a present. What we get them depends somewhat on our finances and the number of their Bday. I'd say average of about £100 however for their recent big birthday ending in a 0 we paid for all of us to go abroad. When I was a student newly into work I'd spend about 10-20 pounds

We buy gifts for each other, I buy my parents, they buy for us, same as adult children buy for us and vice versa.

It’s often a token gift, not large value like when they were teens but still lovely thoughtful gifts.

If we go out for dinners we spilt the bill.

Just give them less and do a dinner at home