SS visited today

Why though? Does it work the same for a 4 year old boy sleeping with mum?

I liaise with social services daily as part of my role. Thresholds are so high nowadays, you don't get a home visit from a social worker without there being significant concerns for a child's welfare. Nothing the OP has described so far would be deemed sufficiently serious to trigger a home visit. There is definitely more to this.

Yes, here you are, with further investigations underway.

Another one hard of understanding.
The issues are really very simple.

I think some people just want the details to start some juicy gossip.....

It is a dog, right? I mean I know other posters have been derailing the thread going on and on about cats, but they aren't generally kept in cages.

So I presume you mean a dog crate? It is actually a safety issue to allow a child to enter a dog crate because it's the dog's safe space and leaves the child at risk of being attacked by the dog protecting it's territory.

Was that one of the concerns raised?

I had a health visitor report me to SS because my son was "failure to thrive". Luckily , my mother in law used to be a midwife, and she was with me for the meeting, and pointed out the tongue tie that the health visitor had missed. The social worker was not impressed at all . Her theory was that because my DS was still being fed by ng tube when he came home, and was being seen by the SCBU midwife as well as the regular midwife and the health visitor, everybody assumed that somebody else had checked.

If the Social Worker is requesting lateral checks then the case hasn't been NFAd.

They're literally going to cross check you and your interactions with other agencies, OP.

I'm with the others - co-sleeping and a just turned 4 year old pretending to be a dog wouldn't trigger a safeguarding visit from SS or lateral checks.

There is more unsaid than said here.

Hallelujah! We’re not alone on this thread. If only I had known 13 years ago, when everyone was charmed by my DD1 pretending to be a cat 24/7, that this was a signifier of autism, then my family would probably have not been put through the mill, my DD1’s mental health would not be trashed, we would not be involved with SS and we would not have pissed about for years with seeking help. @sotiredandconfused use your HV concern and your SS visit to try to expedite an neurodivergent assessment for your DD.

Dh has shared a bed with dd and ds on holidays and the like. I can assure you if there was even a whisper of abuse, my kids wouldn't be in the same city as him let alone the same bed. Anyway, I snore and he doesn't so the kids pick him every time. It's a sad world when a dad can't share a bed with his young kids.

And you missed the posts where you accused OP of ‘offering her child on a plate’ because the father co-sleeps.

are you drunk?

Maybe you SHOULD read more posts, you seem to be hard of understanding?

We had one good one. The other was a disgrace. And I had severe on depression- which she never picked up on and which subsequently went undiagnosed for five years.

More info here please op. It’s a bit of a drip feed.

Casual clothes. Trousers, skirt, top. Not white stilettoes and a fancy dress.

I really dislike health visitors, but somehow I think that there's a massive backstory here that we aren't told.

I was abused by my father as a child but he never slept in my bed.

@againtomorrow what the actual fuck is wrong with you ? Are you implying your own husband is not to be trusted with your own daughter? Jesus Christ.

And fwiw DS does indeed now have a diagnosis of autism.

This commentary on cosleeping with dads makes me so sad. It's totally reasonable in your situation with the meds, but even without meds why would it be an issue? If we have another baby, I expect my husband will cosleep with our daughter quite regularly so that I can cosleep with the baby. Posters that think dads will abuse their daughters in that situation, but presumably only when cosleeping and never at any other time, are not making any sense at all. Either they are abusers or not and either you trust them or you don't.

It sounds like a really upsetting situation for your family OP and unfortunately I don't think mumsnetters are helping. People are here for the juicy details and are not taking kindly to being deprived of them, but I think their reaction is totally disproportionate! Wishing you all the best with getting through it.

But surely the HV is visiting a range of people during a day and not all of them will be struggling, some may well have been dressed as she was. Should she take several changes of clothes with her so she can dress appropriately for each visit? She is allowed to dress as she pleases, it's nothing to do with you.

I worked in a place where people come for food parcels, some to visit a needle exchange, others are wealthy people who have come for health reasons. What should we be wearing?

well i guess it depends if you were abused by your father as a child i guess doesn't it?

be disgusted all you like.