SS visited today

It doesnt happen that fast,my son is severely autistic and over the years had various professional, s involved for various reasons the time between a referral to a visit is months ime and they don't just turn up.

Just a thought and I’m probably wrong but if you mentioned you think dd may possibly have asd could this ss lady have been the specialist teaching service or similar who would be an additional service who offer advice if there are asd concerns. At our 2 year check it was raised by HV that ds was likely autistic and from then we were referred to a specialist team etc. this does not excuse any of the accusations or comments made re sleeping arrangements etc at all though, that is not right.

Social services do have lots of options to help support families whose children have developmental issues. After our referral we got support from a family support worker (past of SS). It was totally voluntary but very useful. They also helped liaise with school which pushed a dyslexia assessment through faster. The other thing they can do is carer assessments and disability assessments which can led to direct payments to help support things like inclusion activities. There are various disability services that can't be accessed without an SS referral. Perhaps the social worker genuinely thought you were struggling with the situation. You could have a beautiful house and lovely children but still need support.

Oh the HV, SW, SS combo, it sucks! Is this HV does its name begin with a K by any chance, this absolutely K was an perpetual pain in my arsenal, and made up lies, twisted what happened, wrote reports, recommendations it told the high court... then I had an appointment at a establishment and this 'K' had the audacity to ask me how I was when we both were waiting in the waiting room, I lost it at that point! Reported it to the independent HV body, and their superiors! So sorry you have one who is putrid, request to have a different more compassionate one! Kind regards to u and your family

Not everybody lives in England.

*recieved

Don't divulge too much on here, despite others encouraging you to do so.

You are innocent, and the feedback you reviewed from SS has confirmed this. I just think the HV needs a job in a prison where she's better suited. Good on you for launching a complaint, it was bang out of order what she did.

Sounds spot on to me.
Sadly what I've come to expect from the "services"

I understand this entirely, it's not appropriate to dress business like for an early years role when engaging with young children, it could create an interaction barrier between herself and the child. Nothing to do with class just professionalism. My HV wore these amazing linen dungarees which were smart but had the right level of approachability. (I wanted a pair myself!)

What I would question, is if the HV thought your child was developmentally behind why not refer to appropriate care services rather than SS? SS suggests parental issues. I highlighted the significant delays at my son's two year review. This was critical for his care as I now have several services involved with his development such as neurodivergent service and speech and language. I find on here there is a wave of negativity surrounding HV in general but there services aren't just lip service, it was a critical appointment for my sons development. (Not that I'm suggesting you haven't got a legitimate grievance)

no HV visits at age 4

I love how people opine on things they know nothing about and don't bother even reading the thread which explains over and over again that it's not true.

My son is only one but I’ve already been told I will be getting a home visit before he starts school. It is part of their regular checks. I live in Wales. I believe it’s different in England.

no HV visits at age 4 ….it is not part of the healthy child programme…HVs are too busy to do core visits never mind random visits
no HV would be able to make a referral without your consent ( dems the rules )
no HV would make a referral ( with your consent) without discussing with her safeguarding supervisor

all sounds a bit Billy bollocks to me🙄

I am so sorry you had such a horrible experience. The HV should have spoken to you directly about her concerns and explained the reason for her referral. If not at the time then afterwards. Social services seem to have responded amazingly quickly. Her outfit sounds completely inappropriate for a home visit. Nothing you spoke about is a reason for social services to investigate so quickly. I hope it all gets sorted out so you can put it behind d you.

My mum - who actually worked in childcare - always tells the story of when the HV came out to me when I was a toddler. We're talking over 40 years ago, so things have changed, but apparently the HV put one of those toys in front of me with different shaped bricks where the child pokes the brick through the correctly shaped slot in the lid, and said 'Can you put the shapes into the box for me?'

I just took the lid off the box, scooped up all the shapes, put them inside in one go, and put the lid back on. This then triggered a lengthy discussion between the HV and my mum because the HV said she would have to note that I was behind in my development because I hadn't technically demonstrated that I could recognise shapes. My older brother was there at the time and remembers my mum sitting there getting increasingly annoyed and saying 'No, she absolutely CAN recognise shapes but she can also recognise that THERE WAS A BETTER WAY TO DO WHAT YOU WERE ASKING OF HER, if anything this means she's brighter than either of us'

In my case, senior daycare reported that Mum was "starving".

Actual situation: Mum was supposed to be picked up by them at 9.30. They didn't get her until 11.

After investigation I was then instructed to "remedy the situation" by reinstating her mid-morning carer, so that she could get her mid-morning snack on pick-up days. (That carer had only been cancelled for the day that Mum went to Day Care, but the lateness of the Day Care pick-up was somehow being portrayed as my fault.)

I finally cancelled Day Care because they tried to say that Mum couldn't walk - an OT who didn't know her was sent in while Mum was in with a young carer and started barking instructions at her. Mum did not take kindly to this and refused to move.

I later realised that Mum had started to refuse to stand for the Day Care team because she didn't like their bumpy mini-bus. (She had severe osteoporosis and osteoarthritis.) She was fine to go on the days that I was on holiday from work and could take her in.

Not at all. She would tell the parents: trust me, I am a professional. ....on the same line.

Well, I think the Lucy Letby situation is a bit different.

It's a bad practice and Wales should stop it. It's not a nurses job seeing how a child is before starting school. In England you wait until you go to school and the school has these rights and necessary resources

A child playing a cat , a reason being to try to ruin a whole family's life IS EVIL and society shouldn't put up with that

Wait. Here we see not ss accusing but a nurse for g sake! That's it. A nurse. Nothing more

Please, report all this to your local NHS complaints trust also. We as society cannot allow utterly vile people to lie against normal families. It's going to turn into a Stalin era country disguised as democracy if no one takes a stand and people like Lucy Letby will be allowed to go free

Every single parent who had their child removed claims to be an innocent victim of social services if all these parents are to be believed then there is no need for social services at all

Sometimes it’s not even intentional, I know of a parent accused of FII whose child had genuine severe allergies - she was accused of making it up to restrict her child’s social development to make them look different to get attention from them having ‘special foods’ etc. this was by the school despite the parent having given them a care plan from a consultant , epi pens prescribed by the GP and blood and skin tests had been done so mum thought it will be easy to disprove the allegations - it wasn’t. The school suddenly said they’d never been given a care plan, the gp practice manager was asked to look on notes and said couldn’t see any evidence of allergies (they had been changing systems so Not all medical info was on there ) . Mum went to the gp and said ‘right so if no allergies why are you prescribing epi pens ?’ And gave them her copies of the clinic letter. By the at point SS were heavily involved and they went back to the school - found that the care plan and prescription epinpens had been ‘put in the wrong place ‘ but were actually there . Case was closed that day. It was a series of mistakes that combined could have been damaging and that’s what can happen it’s not always an individual being difficult but a set of overworked individuals not checking things properly that all builds up to look like safeguarding concerns when it isn’t

You do have something to fear if they make false reports

The cat reference reminds me that my DC used to do that, at 3 yo she told someone her name was Whiskers 😂
Nothing unusual about imaginative play. Gosh what a rubbish HV - I'm sure they're getting worse, it's like the higher they go the worse they get. Booted upstairs or something. A decent SW though hurrah!

My professional background is in social work (mainly with adults rather than children) though I now work in a different (but related) role. I think most social workers, health visitors, etc are doing a good job in difficult circumstances - few set out to make people's lives miserable!

But leaving aside issues of underfunding etc, as in any job there are people who are just not suited to the role. When I was training and doing my placements (I was a 26 year old single parent at the time) I kind of naively expected everyone would have great values, etc, and was shocked to find this was not always the case. I've worked alongside newly qualified young people who are well meaning and intelligent but lack life experience and are overly judgmental. And older staff who are cynical and inclined to see the worst in people.

I worked with a woman in her late 30s with a fairly mild learning disability, I'll call her Lisa, who was unexpectedly pregnant (result of a consensual one-off), she wanted to keep the baby but was terrified she wouldn't be allowed to. I was the first person she told and I could see how frightened she was - she couldn't stand her previous social worker and was afraid I would immediately tell her off (her words) and say she couldn't keep the baby.

Her family background wasn't great and her younger sister had had children taken into care. Cue lots of meetings during the pregnancy, and most professionals were of the view that Lisa obviously couldn't cope and the baby should be removed. A large part of the argument was based on the experience with her sister ("we gave her a chance and look what happened"). I felt this was unfair, she was an altogether different personality to her sister, and although she would need support, I felt she may well be able to cope and should be given a chance (and advised not to take parenting advice from her sister!).

We managed to get a support package in place (nightmare in itself, but that's another story) and she had the baby and coped really well. I don't know what happened in the long term as I moved away from the area, but I hope they thrived.

This was quite a long time ago , but I suppose I'm just thinking about how wrong decisions can be made based on incorrect and unfair assumptions. I could give other similar examples.