To be worried about future with older partner who has no private pension?

In 2013. auto-enrolment into a pension was compulsory for employees .Either he’s self employed or he has opted out of pension.

no advice for you, but you have every right to be pissed off

Ok let's reverse this....a woman working part-time in her mid 50s with ill heath is living with a 40 year old man who's working FT. He's earning more and paying the majority of the bills and mortgage. He does half the housework/admin. They have no children together.
If I was that woman I'd be wondering what on earth he saw in me and thinking he could leave at any point!
You never see that scenario though.
Its normally that the woman pays less because they've had dc and she's done most of the childcare and taken a backseat in her career, OR she's younger, isn't career orientated and likes taking care of the house and her husband is happy to financially support her because he gets a home run and youth on his arm (outdated and sexist imo but you still see examples of this).

You’re his pension plan! I would not be happy with this at all!

What do you mean by private pension? Does he have a workplace pension?

Kindly meant OP but he didn't half see you coming, his workhorse funding his retirement.🙄
Unbelievable.
Nearly 15 years older than you.
My bags would be packed, house up for sale if necessary.
No way would I be so blatantly used as a retirement package.
At least he told you straight.
YOU are his retirement plan,
working part-time till he fully packs it in.
What a life.
Really unbelievable.

It even has name, men who do this, it’s called finding a nurse with a purse

he does have a pension plan, it is YOU

he said it himself (;quoting you) “He just kind of shrugged and said I'll still be earning for another 15 years after he retires.”

Do you want to be his pension plan?

Hi, I’m 9.5years younger than my DH, and we have a disparity in our income but not as much as you. However, we split everything 50:50 at the moment, and are making plans to retire at the same time. This means he has to work for a bit longer and I have to stay in my high pressured sales job for a bit longer than planned, as the bonuses will help with paying down the mortgage and our pensions.

He may go part-time if he needs to and in the last few years, he has prioritised better paying jobs (he is self employed) and upping his pension payments.

The age gap doesn’t matter I don’t think, as long as you work together on your plan on the future. Maybe he hasn’t realised the unfairness of the position and a chat will help him understand this and realise that he needs to work on a plan with you and not take you for granted.

We just realised that it wasn’t going to work long term if we both didn’t compromise on what we thought should happen. Obviously life and health may change this, but we have some sort of plan.

I think her plan of working to 67 may be because she feels she will have to if she is to earn enough to support two.

Good point.

This would really put me off him and make me question the relationship. Sounds like he's either planning on relying on you or his inheritance to sort him out. Why hasn't he paid into a pension? Or has he done so and taken it out already?

Also surprised that you hadn't had more in depth chats about this after being together for so long. But I agree with others... what does he bring to the relationship... are you happy to have someone potentially sponging off you?

So there's going to be 20 years where you are working full time and he's not working at all?!

Is he dynamite in bed or something??

But he’s over ten years older, and she’s said she’s planning on working til 67! She’ll be working 15-20 years longer than him.

It isn’t unusual to have differing salaries in a couple. The question is whether you love him and want to stay together so you are happy to support him financially. Although I would say if he’s part time I’d expect him to be doing more domestically.

I would say get him to start a sipp.
You can pay into it up to 40k or up to wages if lower.
So let him pay as much as possible into there for a few years (ie dont make him pay the 30%.)
With the tsx 25% if say he paid in 20k that would be 25k. So even just 4 years of this might be 100k by retirement. Only about £4k per year pension but better than nothing.

lol why should OP retire after him just because she is younger? She has her shit together, if she were planning on retiring at 50 and that’s why she has been saving a pension forever, then she should not sacrifice her early retirement to support his non planning deceiving freeloading ass.

So he may well be working years after she retires until he can afford to retire, which looks like state pension age for him!

None of that applies to him.

I work long hours in a difficult role and I'm proud of the job I do. He just sees work as a means to an end

^

Dont tell me you're an accountant

I’m the low paying partner with health issues in our house. But I won’t be retiring before him, I have raised the kids and worked and been the main person for household stuff.

I’ve also worked hard at saving, which is equally important.

Hmm, two things:

I pay 70% and he pays 30%

And

He just kind of shrugged and said I'll still be earning for another 15 years after he retires

He's taking you for a fool op.

Why is housework split 50/50 if he works part time and you FT?

Do NOT marry him.

He can’t retire at 62- that will leave you working for another 20years while he doesn’t. And he’ll have nothing to contribute to the household.

I’d be telling him that you have very different retirement plans, so it isn’t going to work. You’re intending to retire 20 years after him and then have a damn good time on the money you’ve earned.

By which time he’ll be 82 and unable to keep up either physically or financially.

You need to have the conversation, if his retirement finances is based on a share of his parents' house he could have a shock if it turns out to be minimal for whatever reason.

Pity you did not discuss this years ago, however better now than not at all.

How did you stay together for so long when money obviously is so important to you without bringing this up? You either want to be with him or not.

He does have a pension plan - it’s you.

This surely can’t be a surprise to you?

The man is working part time and leeching off you while he ‘contributes’ 30% towards the household.

He plans to retire with no income for several years until his state pension kicks in, whilst you further subsidise him.

In fairness, now you’ve asked him about this he’s made no attempt to hide it “He just kind of shrugged and said I'll still be earning for another 15 years after he retires”.

He’s relying on you to support him for at least 15 years after he retires. He’s told you this outright. He couldn’t have been clearer.

What you now do with that information is entirely up to you.