Are people on mumsnet reflective of the online world?

MN changed for the worse when the Pandemic hit.

Mumsnet is one of the worst imo, at least on AIBU. On the other message boards there is more empathy but something about AIBU makes posters vicious.

If you compare it to something like AITA on Reddit, people on that board are SO much more empathetic and reasonable. I expect the demographic is different but not sure that explains it; I think there’s something cultural about AIBU that poisons the well and inclines people towards cruelty.

There are also horrific sites elsewhere - Tattle for instance would be enough to make a normal person suicidal. A lot of people who are probably reasonably decent in real life let their worst selves come out online.

I think it's a place serving the anger of many women! But while sometimes this can become a little personal or nasty, mostly it allows us a place to disagree and scream on paper.
Like those places where you can pay to smash old TVs, cars, etc to get your anger out physically, this gives us a place to vent on 'paper'. So many women (as evidenced by many, many threads) suppress their feelings for fear of upsetting someone. They let themselves/theirkids/husband be treated badly at work/school/home, yet say nowt because 'know your place' or 'i am afraid of being alone/upsetting peopke"
So we walk around with a lot of suppressed anger, hurt, frustration. Them someone here asks/suggests 'something' and it bursts the dam
It also shows that this isn't always an echo chamber, shows that not everyone agrees with certain things, and that we can get emotional about stuff. We have the ability to report posts, and IME, MNHQ are pretty quick to deal with them
And why is NC such a bad thing? It's nice to be someonexelse occasionally!

Mumsnet has definitely got more nasty over the past 15 years ago. But I don't think it's a reflection of people in real life, necessarily, or at least, it's a combination of things. I think that partly there has been a general shift in attitudes towards poverty/work/illness/disability which shows up here. But I also think that Mumsnet developed a reputation which is attractive to some people who wouldn't have ventured in here when it was just seen as a parenting support site for middle class mums.

I've been on MN for around 10 years and what I've noticed in that time is that people are still compassionate and empathetic but only if you fit into a certain box. I worry about money but in a different way to those who struggle to pay their bills as I earn more. But I wouldn't dare post about it on MN as I'd get flamed. You can only post about money worries and receive a kind response if you're on NMW. You can only post about school concerns for your DC and receive a kind response if your DC is at state school. And so on. It's become very divided.

YY, and they all have 'Oxbridge' degrees
Presumably can't remember which one it is they went to!

Society is becoming more selfish and cruel.

I think some people are rude on aibu threads, but there will always be plenty of supportive comments too. Away from aibu, if you go on pensions or single parents or gardening threads, everyone is a lot calmer and more helpful.

I've been here 14 years, definitely more cunts and right wing voters than ever before so in that respect yes I think it does reflect the general population.

Style and beauty. I don't think people on there are exaggerating their wealth, but that their wealth (by comparison to my own!) comes across from the cost of the clothes recommended and discussed.

There are a lot of very intelligent women on here. That's obvious from the articulacy and ability to frame on argument that many posters demonstrate. I think some exaggerate their wealth and job status, as you get people who can barely string a sentence together and can only spout cliché claiming to have these amazing jobs.
However just from what people mention as asides I can tell that most people seem to be better off and me and my circle. The S&B threads leave me feeling distinctly impoverished for example when people suggest £100 dresses for 'every day wear' and think nothing of dropping £80 on a jumper. Same with the property threads where people are casually looking at £450k three bed houses. That would be seriously posh round here.

No my Mumsnet experience is nothing like my Facebook experience or other websites for one Mumsnet has a very high number of wealthy people and not many average (wealth wise) or poor people. Before someone comes at me with "how would you know" well you can just tell by certain threads like all the private school ones.

When it comes to insults and rudeness if you think Mumsnet is bad stay away from most other websites which are way worse. Mumsnet is VERY strict when it comes to what you can say on here.

@TheClawDecides

You can tell literacy levels though. Sentence structure, vocabulary choice and range of punctuation point to a higher than average educational standard.

Lots of the political threads seem to be started or targeted by bots or loons. I think it does seep through to other threads as some of the bored and the lonely feel emboldened by it and try to get a reaction, any reaction. Mn’s not as funny as it used to be.

Are you referring to the vitriol aimed at the disabled mother of three kids? That really upset me.

Oh god what now

Yes, MN is terrible etc

Half the folk on MN seem to earn 6 figures, yet have loads of time to spend on here - so I doubt it's representative of the online world, or the real world for that matter.

I also think MN has a lot of threads where the OP can't take on board what anyone is saying, even when 99% say YABU. And other posters who attack replies that they disagree with. It doesn't seem to be a place where people can just post their opinions, people are attacked for not agreeing with someone. It's pathetic really. The whole point of AIBU is to get other peoples opinions, not to all just agree for an easier life.

I think the only reason this question keeps being asked on here is mn is a predominantly female space and there is an expectation that women should always be meek and kind and gentle and prioritise others at all times.

I am fairly certain that all the spaces filled with men aren't regularly being asked such things and men aren't regularly scolded for not being nice.

So the question isn't so much why are mners 'mean' as it is why are women expected to be all sorts of things that are never expected of men and why are women criticised far more harshly than men ever are.

If the question is why are people on the internet mean then the answer is not everyone is nice and a lot of people who seem nice in rl are only nice because there are consequences in RL that don't exist anonymously so what you see online is the truth and what you see in RL is the lie.

I also think MN is not moderated anywhere near as efficiently or as comprehensively as it should be given the volume of traffic on the site. Especially compared to other "open" forums where pretty much anyone can participate. The name-changing thing is catastrophically bad for integrity.

I have my own thoughts about precisely why MN chooses to operate like this, and I do not believe it's a simple case of being unable to police the site adequately.

Yeah this is true, I am one of these people. I earn £250k P/a for doing not a lot but this is small change compared to DH. My ridiculously large house has stables with 3 horses-fully staffed of course, we holiday 8 times a year to the most luxurious resorts and my commuting car is a lambo-shop in the G-Wagon for space.
Really easy to tell you this online isn't it?
So no, I don't think MN is a true representation-I think it's full of shit.

Some of it is reflective of my world. The wit, the support, the intelligent and insightful comments. Some of it isn't. The MRA/male victim contingent and the hyperbole and misrepresentations that typify political discussions are not something I encounter in RL.

It’s been mentioned often, but I do think that people have become more short tempered, more touchy and more likely to respond bluntly, if not rudely, since covid.

Since folk are pretty much anonymous, they’ll say things they might think twice about in real life.