To expect my mum to look after her only grandchild on her own for 2 hours a week?

You sound completely without empathy. She doesnt want to do it - she already sees quite a lot of your child. Why do you expect her to do it just because she's your mother? It is an awful assumption to make.
She's made it clear and you think she's somehow in the wrong?
You need to see the situation as it is and thank your mother for what she has done already, and make other arrangements that are more suitable.

Of course you are being unreasonable , you sound very entitled. it’s your mothers retirement which she worked for all her life , you don’t to tell her how she should spend it.

Why don’t you ask your husband or your brother in law to do it instead ?

Would you hire a 75 year old childminder for your kid? I would personally be worried about their health and ability to keep up with a one year old so wouldn't. If you wouldn't hire someone well past the age of retirement why would you think it's okay to expect your mother to do it for free when she's said she can't cope?

You are being unreasonable to "expect" her to do childcare. You are beyond unreasonable in circumstances where, whether you think it's objectively reasonable or not, she's made it clear she's not coping. You have left the town of Unreasonable (pop: you) several hundred miles in your rear view mirror to even now, when your mother has said she's not doing it anymore, be only considering whether you should send her to nursery instead.

A one-year-old is too much for a 75-year-old. Your mum must be exhausted. You need to make other arrangements.

What an unpleasant thing to say about a 75 year old who has been doing childcare for her grandchild every week.

The whole thing of her being the only grandchild is a bit of a red herring. It doesn't matter how many others there are, your DM can't cope with a weekly commitment to look after your child. I know it's probably frustrating when you see energetic grannies rallying three toddlers at once, but that's not your situation. Let her enjoy her only grandchild in a more manageable way for her.

My mum is 75 and in no way could cope with a toddler. She doesn't even have my sisters children at 9 and 11.

It's too much for her so make other arrangements and then she can enjoy her granddaughter better

Easy for you to say that - but you aren't the OP'S specific 75 year old mum.

Sounds like your mum just wants to be a martyr

You EXPECT your mother to have her? Sorry, you are presuming too much.

Your child, your responsibility.

End of.

Neither of my children plan on having children but I have made it very clear that I will babysit but I won't be a childminder. Did you have this conversation with your mother? Oh and I am a decade younger than your mother and would still struggle on a regular basis.

She's made it clear it's too much for her. Stop "expecting" her and made alternative arrangements

This. If she WAS coping, she wouldn't respond in this way. It isn't her fault that she can't cope.

Are you being unreasonable? Yes.
Is this a wind up? I hope so.

Posters who say this is not too much for a granny to do, are you 75? Easy to say you will do it now.

Do you even say thank you,? I have my 7 year old grandson with me for up to a week in school holidays and although he's older he can still be a handful at times. My daughter always thanks us for having him.

You are unreasonable for expecting anyone to look after your child. Pay for childcare as it's clearly not working.

It’s a shame she doesn’t seem to be able to do it as she obviously lives nearby and you have a close relationship. I will be trying to help my DC out with childcare as much as I can when the time comes. I don’t think it’s an unreasonable thing to ask. 2 hours a week is not a lot. Is your father around as well?

From a grandparents perspective, I'm in my 40s my granddaughter is 4. My children are now late teens and 20s. It wipes me out at time after having her I have her overnight probably once a month and a few times a week. When I had mine I did not have any support from family was basically told I'd made my bed so I paid for childcare and made it work. Your mum is 75 and I can imagine a 1 year old being quite hard work she is her granddaughter of course and she will love her as I do mine but when it stops being on your terms and more an expectation it doesn't feel pleasurable.

Unfortunately she’s telling you it’s too much. Sad but how it is. My DM is 72 and finds childcare much harder now. She actually said recently that she was reflecting on how she judged my MIL a bit for being ‘too hands off’ when my first was born, but she was 72 then and my mum was 63; she says she gets it now she’s reached the same age.

Also I don’t know if this is at play at all, but for us when my kids were young, becoming a parent threw up all kinds of issues about my own experiences of being parented. Some of it we talked about but it changed our relationship - not all bad, but matured it. I wonder if your mum has anything going on emotionally in her granny role, as well as being more easily tired.

YABU.

1. for expecting it in the first place and
2. for being miffed about her clearly finding your toddler challenging rather than acting upon your Mum's words/action sooner.

Why are you leaving your precious child with someone who clearly doesn't want to look after her solo? Whatever age she is and whatever her capabilities, your mother doesn't feel up to it. Which can't be good for either her or your daughter

However fit you are at 75, you get really tired really easily. Heck, I'm exhausted looking after my young niece and nephew for a couple of hours and I'm only mid fifties, also fit and active. I can't imagine what it would be like twenty years down the line. Children are really hard work - much harder than you realise when you're relatively young - and even harder when they aren't yours, however much you love them.

It's too much for her. It doesn't mean she doesn't utterly adore your DD, I'm sure she does. But it's too much and she's trying to tell you that. Get childcare sorted and let your mum enjoy her now and then when she feels able to cope.

Seems obvious this isn’t working, your mum isn’t coping or enjoying the time she has to take care of your daughter and it’s impacting your relationship. It is lovely that your child can have a relationship with their grandmother, however I guess not every grandparent is cut out for babysitting duties. It’s a luxury to have that, I suppose, not a right. It’s a shame it hasn’t worked out, but save yourself and your mum the tension and stress - find an alternative option for childcare, or shift schedule around a bit or whatever you need to do to ensure your mum isn’t having to be on babysitting duty.
Hope you figure it out and things get easier 😊

Entitled? You expect? No your mother is completely at liberty to make her own decisions.