My mother is 75. She is relatively fit and healthy and leads an active lifestyle.
I am 35 and have one child. She will be an only child for various reasons, including health reasons (I have a heart condition and also had bad PPD).
My child is 1. She is the only child in the entire family as both my brother and my DH’s sister aren’t going to have children.
I work freelance. One morning we have outside help with my child, one morning MIL comes down to help, and one morning my mum helps.
My mum also sees my daughter everyday for an hour or so - she comes to have lunch with me in my house on most days.
Whenever she has my daughter for the morning I can guarantee she will be difficult with me when I pick her up. She is tetchy, snappy and talks about how difficult it was, how tired she is and she is almost resentful at me. She adores my daughter, and I appreciate that she is getting older, but 2 hours isn’t that long considering it’s only once a week.
Each time I go and pick my daughter up, I make a big effort to be chirpy and in a good mood. Today, despite very little sleep for 4 nights, I tried my hardest to not put a foot wrong. Yet still I was met with complaints. I suggested I had lunch alone, to give her a break from my daughter as I could see she was in a bad mood and I wanted to avoid a big argument.
It didn’t work and she became even more agitated and then sent me a barrage of 20 messages about how she wouldn’t look after my daughter again and how disrespectful I was etc etc.
I don’t know what to do. AIBU? Should I send my daughter to nursery instead for the morning my mum has her? I can’t stand the feeling of resentment much longer. When I try to talk to her, she just snaps and denies being in the wrong.
I would appreciate your advice.