Can’t make a decision on taking his name

I never wanted to change mine, but wanted any children to have the same. Considered db it but:
husband-maiden sounded weird
maiden-husband would get shortened to maiden (esp as I'm a teacher) and I didn't want to sound like I'm married to my dad.

Didn't have a middle name so used maiden name as one instead.

You can change it whenever you like, doesn't have to be right when you get married. Just make a deed poll (free, search gov.uk) and send it to passport, dvla office etc

I spent ages thinking about this too, in the end decided to double-barrel and glad I did. Well, my options were keep my name or double-barrel - would never have considered just using his surname.

My surname is foreign too but not difficult to pronounce and not that long. DH decided to do the same so we are Mr/Ms His Surname-My Surname. That way round just because we thought it sounded better. It's 2 Syllables-4 Syllables - so fairly long together but I like it. It's never caused any problems, we have been married a decade now and have two kids.

I changed mine because I was teased about my surname as a child and I was glad to get rid of it. No regrets, but I would totally keep your own name if you actually like it.

As a child, I always wished that my mum had kept her maiden name and that we kids had taken that!

It seems a shame that so many people automatically give DC their father's name. He's no more important than their mother!

Totally agree . On forms where it says ‘Maiden Name’ I cross out ‘ Maiden ‘ !

It’s just my name , same as a man’s name is his name .

Kept my name and am very glad I did. I don't understand why anyone would follow the patriarchal tradition of taking a man's name.

The DC also have my last name.

DH is fine with this.

I always wonder how their brothers cope! Maybe they marry women with better names than them and change without a second thought. It just makes sense!

Why is it “nice” to all have the same name? It makes no difference to me, we don’t need to match to be a cohesive family unit

very tricky to spell

Mine is very tricky to spell and pronounce but I chose to keep it because it is mine but I succeeded in spite of it. However, I don’t want to burden my DCs with that.
Incidentally, we gave our children short and easy to spell forenames - they will probably end up giving their children flamboyant ones!

I took my husbands name, I had never intended not to, I didn't really think much of it but my husbands family found it very unusual and questioned why I would do that as they felt their foreign surname would disadvantage me in the UK!
In their culture the woman doesn't change her surname but the kids always get the fathers surname.. which equally I wouldn't like personally.
I had my dads surname growing up (who I only saw a few times a year) and so had a different surname to my family that I lived with (mum, step dad, half sister) and I didn't really like it, it made me feel like the odd one out.
So I think deep down I wanted to share a surname with my husband and children, to feel like a family unit in that way, to avoid the awkwardness that came with having to explain our family dynamic in certain situations in my childhood.
Though obviously its all much more common now, so would be less noticeable.

Edited to add for the people getting aggravated about why husbands don't take the wife's surname - mine probably would have if I'd asked (though it would have complicated things with his visas for the UK) BUT I personally had no attachment to my surname that only tied me to my relatively absent real father

Kept maiden name at work, married name at home. Has worked fine for the last 20 years but if I was making the decision again I wouldn't have bothered with married name at all. I think it's more and more common to keep your own and it's admin. The only advantage I can see is that in a public facing role I am unGoogleable for private life, but that would have been easily handled by social media privacy settings. I don't know what we would have done re the children's surnames - I think that probably matters to DH more than my name. Our two surnames together is not a good combo so it would never be double barrelled.

In order of popularity, it seems the choices being made are:

1. Take his name
2. Wife and kids double-barrel (unclear whether man does too, or who gets top billing)
3. Wife keeps her name, kids get his
4. Come up with new name entirely

Everyone takes wife's name? Heaven forfend. Women's surnames are either very tricky to spell, or very ordinary*, so it just makes practical sense to let them die.

*These two things are not at all contradictory

I agree, except my name was not an easy one to spell or pronounce and if you haven’t had that experience then it would be difficult to understand how much it can hold you back - e.g. people will direct things to colleagues over you purely because they can’t remember how to spell or say your name.

So the children have my DH’a name just so their professional lives are not affected.
However, if my name was more “straightforward” I would have fought tooth and nail to use my surname.

I have kept my surname and it doesn’t bother my DC or us that their surname is not the same as mine and doesn’t affect how cohesive our family is. My DS sometimes says he is going to add my surname to his when he is older.

I also jremember that when we got married the wedding couple’s mothers are not on the marriage certificate, just the father I think - hopefully that has changed!

I asked my husband before we married if he wanted to change his name. He said no and I said me neither. Keeping our own names seemed logical. My name is extremely complex whereas his is short and simple but it's my name so I really struggle to understand why I'd take his name just because we're married.

The children have his name purely because it's an easier name. He wanted them to take mine but I figured I'd give them an easier life.

Same here. Can never understand why women change their name unless their name is something horrendous they can't wait to get rid of

I changed mine 10 years and love my new name. DH offered to take mine, but he had the better name! Are you going to have kids? If you don't change your name, are you going to end up with a different name to them?

In Middle Eastern customs you do not change your name. I’ve kept my the same as has my mother.

😅 Feelings, nothing more than feelings. . . 🎶

I'm one of those "types." 😅 Married for nearly 25 years and no, it never occurred to me to change my name.

I did change it but regret it somewhat. However, I think if you don't change your surname the children should also have your surname. I don't understand those who for feminist principles keep their own surname but then let their children take the man's name.

Kept my own name, double barelled the DCs (my surname first so he’s quite oftenhas just my surname used😆

My surname caused me terrible teasing at school. Most people can’t spell it. But it’s interesting and shows my Norman ancestry. Most importantly, for me - 35 years ago - it felt like a statement of my feminist principles to keep it.

Oh and DHs is a variant of a surname where the more common ending is ‘on’ and his is ‘in’ so spelling issues would still have been a thing

I'm one of those and I can tell you exactly why I gave my son his father's surname. I didn't want my son connected to my vile , toxic and abuse family. I had a dogs life as a child and I wanted my son to have no connection to that family. Not to mention the hundreds of news articles about my sibling and their many many arrests.