To ask if you couldn't imagine leaving your baby and then young dc with strangers?

I think you will get a lot of negative responses here OP as it’s a subject most feel slight guilt about (but shouldn’t) anyway.
A lot of parents have no choice but to go to work. Most would not leave their child with a stranger but with a professional.
Your replies do come across slightly goady. I don’t expect this to go well.
Sorry for what you have suffered but this is in the minority.

I’m sending my child to nursery in Sept at 2.5 because they have a speech and developmental delay. 3 hours three times a week. Myself, DH, HV, SALT team and neurodevelopment DR have all recommended it. Am I worried about leaving her, yes but so are all parents who have to or choose to put their children into childcare, it’s not always just about putting them in childcare for the sake of it.

If you don’t want your child to stay with “strangers” and want to homeschool then go for it, I’m sure you wouldn’t like others judging you for your choices

I get that nursery fees are expensive. But its a lie to say very few people are better off working after paying childcare fees if you only have one child in nursery at a time under 3yrs. These days it's easier as funded hours apply to younger children and babies too.

Average salary £34K. Take-home annually (minus tax and 5% pension contribution) would be ~£27K. Average full time nursery place is ~£16,200/year (and this doens't include any funded hours or tax-free childcare which most nursery children and babies now entitled to). This leaves a contribution to household of £10,800/year PLUS pension contributions that will compound over your working life and support you in old age.

So, whilst I appreciate that childcare costs are too expensive for some (e.g., lower paid roles than average salary, or where you have multiple children in nursery without funded hours), on average you can still be better off working and paying childcare for these years.

This isn't the point of this thread, but I wanted to pick up on this as I see it mentioned a lot and its not always correct and pushes more women to give up work without actually working out the long-term financial impact.

I think it's your abusive upbringing that lends to this view.

Parents with completely healthy upbringings who have never experienced abuse of any kind, wouldn't think of professional carers of children as 'strangers'. That's a really negative mindset. Many kids thrive at nursery, so much to explore.

I did an absolute mix of everything, I only worked part time 4 days and my girls were with 50/50 my mum or nursery then. So, 3 days me, 2 mum, 2 nursery. All options were great.

Wow literally just read this this morning. There’s an online push to guilt mums into SAH.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/article/2024/aug/19/anti-childcare-movement-social-media-parenting

Isn't it truly sad and pathetic when people are so insecure about their own choices that they try to self-validate by criticising others who make different choices?

I don't know what happened to you op and I'm not going to ask

But childcare settings like nurseries and childminders have to be inspected and those working in them have to be vetted. There are checks and safeguarding procedures. A parent leaving their child in nursery is quite different than leaving your child with any random stranger.

Mine went to nursery from the age of one. They love nursery and the people who look after them there. They thrive there. I don't consider the people who look after them so well to be strangers.

before anyone wheels out the "I have got to work" card there are very few people that are actually better off after paying the astronomical childcare fees.

Are there? We are definitely better off both working and paying for nursery, than losing one salary and not paying the nursery fees. And we always have been, even before the extension of the free hours. I don't consider us to be particularly high earners.
And that's before you factor in things like pension contributions which make it even more financially worthwhile for us both to work.

But I won't deny that I also just enjoy my job.

Try not to fall off your high horse while you're patting yourself on the back OP.

Some of us are also SINGLE PARENTS so only have one adult to pay for everything.

I never minded sending my DS while I was working, he's 16 now just left school and planning on doing a medical degree so he's done pretty well.

@A2J the majority of abuse is from within family and friends (as you unfortunately found out, I am sorry for your experience)

@Confusionn if I quit my job I wouldn’t be able to afford my mortgage and would lose my house. Not sure that’s more beneficial for a child than going to a reputable childcare setting?

There's more ways a child can show they are not happy than talking though. Been able to verbally express they don't like something or something happened that worried or upset them can be the last form of communication even in a confidently verbal child. You'd look at behavioural cues. You know your child best and would know if something wasn't right.

I think there's a difference between leaving a child with a stranger down the street and leaving them with someone who has been vetted and checked in a childcare setting. Unfortunately, the majority of harm to children comes from people known to them so not being a stranger doesn't necessarily reduce any risk either.

Can't win either way it would seem

I lost consciousness during my delivery and so was in intensive care.
My children (twins) were looked after by strangers from literally the first moment of their lives and didn't see me until they were a day and half old.

Mums have strokes. Mums have accidents. Mums have cancer.

Some people have literally no choice.

They don't need you judging them.

Some of us don't have a choice.

My daughter will be starting nursery at 10 months as I need to go back to work. She's doing 3 days and we will be significantly better off than if I stayed home. If I had the choice, of course I'd stay home with her, but I can't.

Most people would rather leave their children with trusted, loving, competent family members than in paid for childcare. It's not always possible though.

My god you’re so sanctimonious. So now if you like your job you don’t like your kids and they’re better off in nursery?