Kirstie Allsop's 15 Year Old Son

She was very independent very early on - I expect her son takes after her.
I'm an enormous fan of hers.
But Kirstie - I'd rather you were mortified and inconvenienced that social services don't investigate this stuff.
There's peer reviewed research out there that shows wealthy middle class educated families can be just as neglectful but get away with it.
So I'm on the safeguarding side every time - for the kids who aren't safe.

To keep infantilising children, (many are mature enough to go travelling, or Reading festival post GCSE's) but then go further - imply that's a crime, safeguarding issue, neglect or negligent, is a step far too far.

I doubt he and friend were staying in multi-bed dorms with much older people. As long as sensible, going from one pre-booked hotel to another would be ok at that age if known to be trustworthy. I assume KA’s kid has the budget.

One of my DCs is 18 and went travelling this summer as did loads of people they knew. Out of all of them I know of only two who stayed in hostels, everyone else did hotels or apartments (inc mine). The general view was that hostels were “dodgy”. I wouldn’t be keen on a mixed dorm with strangers but I think they are a good way of seeing the world and meeting people as long as are able to be careful about personal boundaries and I thought the general dismissal by 18 year olds was a shame.

I did a 4 hour airport run at 4am this morning for DD and one of her best friends. Waved them off without a backward glance as they're both so sensible but will admit that I was relieved when she text to say that they'd landed. They've booked a decent hotel, transfers, and have got pre loaded Monzo cards as well as good travel insurance and they've got each other's important numbers in their phones in cases of emergency.

I think any travelling is a positive especially if they're sensible. If it was my youngest, I'd be having kittens as she's just very disorganised at the best of times, the sort that would lost their passport on the plane.

Just wondering if a 15 year old would actually be able to book hotel rooms etc in some countries while being legally a minor. Sometimes it's better just to wait a few days and get to an age where all these things are easier?

Would it be okay to go away on holiday and leave a 15 year old unattended at home for three weeks?
But he wasn't unattended. He wasn't solo trekking.

I have full sympathy with Kirsty here, I think she makes decent points and that the infantilisation of teenagers is contributing to anxiety and mental health problems as a whole.

However if my working class kid went on holiday without adult supervision then i imagine school and social services would take a very dim view. so from that perspective I’m somewhat relieved that she isn’t sheltered from societal pressure even if that pressure is misjudged.

Glad there's a thread about this. Sad to see how many over anxious parents there are. Including op @ImAFemaleVersionOfRoyKeane.

She says :

"I just felt sick – absolutely sick. Then I was cross. I was very, very cross. It was just so extraordinary. I was in a parallel universe where they were actually taking this seriously. I have broken no law and nothing about allowing my child to travel around Europe is neglectful.”

I too would be very very cross. Negligent? Or was it neglectful? Oh purlease.

Would it be okay to go away on holiday and leave a 15 year old unattended at home for three weeks? In the eyes of social services that is. I would have assumed that was a definitely safeguarding issue that a school would be obliged to raise?

I think it’s generated an interesting debate, I don’t think we give teens enough freedom and have over recent years really rolled back on it. My dd is a few months older but in the same year group and has been away in the UK with YHA this summer, we wouldn’t have finances for inter rail, but I can’t see it being an unreasonable risk.

very few places will allow under 18s to book accommodation and lots of places put restrictions on them so it’s not actually that easy to plan a trip away.

DD and her mates have tickets to a local music festival this weekend and when they arrived the venue stated they had to be with an over 18 and each adult could not have responsibility for more than 3 of them, the security were very rude. I think teens are really caught between having freedom and being restricted and treated like grown adults in some situations and like young children in others.

I suspect 15/16 year olds will run into more weirdos online than on any trip.

For some reason this is ok .🤷‍♀️

I don’t know. We don’t know what the complaint entails. One would hope that it would be dismissed out of hand if it was obviously malicious. Presumably that is what the phone call is for?

It’s probably just about optics but people would be blaming SS if they didn’t take the complaint seriously. Historically , SS are always damned if they do and damned if they don’t. Blamed for being interfering or blamed for not doing enough. They can never win!

I travelled around Europe with a friend when I was 14/15, before any of us had mobiles. We planned rail station collections in advance, had cash on us. We had a few dodgy encounters in Paris, and sleazy old men in Spain passing comment, plus ça change...

As far as anyone knows she is a good parent. I am sure she is! I waited until my dc were over 18 before travelling solo, but that’s a question of judgement not neglect.

But I think it’s unfair that SS are getting blamed here. Nobody seems to acknowledge they have to treat every complaint seriously and assess it on its individual merits.

Surely no one would have known about the trip except her inner circle if she hadn’t posted about it publically?

Are you saying the complaint was entirely separate to the recent press stories and sm discussion about his trip? That the two things were coincidental?

Sorry : edited my post because it came across a bit too strong! Didn’t mean it in a snippy way.

He has a dad, too, presumably? But you only name her.

They know their son, you don’t.

I'm sure she knows her son better than anyone else.
I went inter-railing / backpacking round Europe at almost 16 with three friends of the same age for four weeks during the school holidays.
My friends mum dropped us and our camping gear off at the train station and off we went. Mobile phones hadn't been invented and we phoned home maybe once a week.
My kids did the same at the same age.
Everyone returned safe, sound and bursting to tell our parents all about it.
Getting SS involved is a low blow. I'm sure they have better things to do.

I know it was Kirstie that announced on her IG that her son had travelled but surely it was mutually agreed with her husband. I haven't seen him getting any flack for allowing his son yo go way just before his 16th birthday.
The report to SS was clearly done to cause trouble as the lad has seemingly come back unharmed but the case will be on file now. It was a nasty move.

Check out what?

He’s now 16 and old enough to join the army, he doesn’t need to be supervised on trips.

but she is saying it wasnt illegal, it wasnt neglect,
if she hadnt responded in public she would have been outed anyway.
she can't win.

I absolutely agree that the complaint was malevolent and wrong, it probably came from a journalist or newspaper editor trying to generate a story, but as a public figure, she should have protected her child’s privacy in the first place.

And she is now reacting with arrogance and outrage to being contacted by SS when she must know that having received a complaint, they are bound to investigate it.

Imagine the furore if the SS said, oh we didn’t bother checking this out essentially because Kirsty is posh and has lots of money and is in the public eye!

I think she could have responded more intelligently and not used her son for clicks or likes or whatever in the first place! Fine if you are on private family WhatsApp or Facebook group that can only be accessed by your nearest and dearest. Not fine if you are a public figure making a point about your great parenting on a public sm platform frequented by journos.

Apart from anything else, she has a duty of care to her son. Who knows what sick wierdos will be on alert now for his next unsupervised trip? Or if not as bad as that, what journalists will be waiting at her front door to take his photo and follow him to school? She should have been more prudent.

I agree . It's to take her down .

If social services will take such a call seriously, perhaps we should start reporting all those parents who drive SUVs badly and cannot park reasonably as neglect. Or any parent turning up to take or collect their child from school who has not got properly dressed.

The real contribution Kirstie Allsop and all those who take part in property programme of the same ilk is to create a culture where property is seen as some form of speculative investment, which indirectly increased property prices. So some families who could live in well maintained property without damp, mould or insecure length of time, are forced to live in property which harms their health.

Someone will have done this to be spiteful because of her family and wealth.

But just a few weeks later he is now old enough to join the army and could go on DofE expeditions in the middle of nowhere overnight from 14. We let children far younger have unmonitored access to the entire world in their bedrooms.

But it’s apparently not ok to go youth Hostelling with mums credit card a matter of weeks from turning 16.🤔

The world has gone bonkers!

It amazes me that there are so many posts making a big deal out of "brains not being fully developed until they're 25" when talking about grown men and women in their 20s, but here, sending a 15 year old off with a 16 year old to travel around Europe for weeks is AOK.

I find KAs outrage at being called out about this rather entitled, when she chose to publicise it in the first place, knowing that substantial numbers of people would think the whole thing rash.