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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband threw cat after scratch

207 replies

Friarclose · 19/08/2024 21:36

Tonight while trying to hold her still for a flea treatment, our cat severely scratched DH, drawing blood. DHs immediate kneejerk reaction was to throw the cat to the floor, hard. She missed the corner of a wooden table by about 4 inches.

DH is fuming that my only reaction was to scream at him for throwing her and not caring that he was bleeding. I know he was hurt but to throw her like that???

AIBU? was it just a reaction to being hurt or would other people put the cat down carefully regardless of being hurt? I'm really upset 😡

OP posts:
MultiplaLight · 19/08/2024 22:04

Dotto · 19/08/2024 22:02

Violently hurling a creature is unacceptable.

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I don't think it was a violent hurl from OPs description...

More like a knee jerk "get the hell off me".

MonsteraMama · 19/08/2024 22:04

How bad of a scratch are we talking? My brother has permanent nerve damage in his hand from a cat scratch, they can be really bad if the cat thinks it's fighting for it's life, and some of them definitely think being wormed or flead is life or death.

If he was just sort of flinging the cat away from him that really can be pure instinct, fight/flight. If he went "owe fuck" and then threw the cat then he had time to think and check himself.

Overtheatlantic · 19/08/2024 22:04

There’s a lot of animal cruelty apologists on here. I’m shocked and disgusted.

ilovesooty · 19/08/2024 22:04

Friarclose · 19/08/2024 21:43

It was definitely throw, not drop. That's the upsetting part. Drop of course, understandable. But he forcefully threw her to the ground.

In that case I would be appalled by his behaviour.

Stoptherideiwanttogetoff24 · 19/08/2024 22:04

Flossyts · 19/08/2024 21:39

Nope, I’d probably drop the cat. If I’m honest I couldn’t promise I wouldn’t drop a child.

Its a jerk reaction to pain- I think you’re being quite hard on him.

Dropping is not throwing

Barryplopper · 19/08/2024 22:03

Cat scratches hurt, I'd assume knee jerk response

SummerSplashing · 19/08/2024 22:03

Prawncow · 19/08/2024 21:59

Cat or dog OP?

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@Prawncow

people can have both & often do!

Iloveanicegarden · 19/08/2024 22:02

Believe this or not MNers, but we had a similar reaction from a vet! Cat not only thrown to the ground but grabbed by the scruff first and swung round. He then put huge leather gauntlets on before proceeding! Needless to say we didn't see him again!

Dotto · 19/08/2024 22:02

MintyNew · 19/08/2024 22:00

Well done op for having the perfect response to being severely scratched. If it happens to you, good to know that you will be perfect in your reaction. Im with your dh here.

Violently hurling a creature is unacceptable.

SummerSplashing · 19/08/2024 22:02

@Friarclose

what was his reaction immediately after? What has he said about it?

ilovesooty · 19/08/2024 22:01

mushpush · 19/08/2024 21:41

Honesty if my cat severely scratched me to the point of bleeding - I'd probably reflexively drop them!

You say "throw" though not "drop" - did he pull his arms back and put some force behind a throw? Or did he just reflexively let go of his grip and drop the cat? That's the key difference to me, immediately letting go and dropping the cat is a reflex to a painful injury. Pulling your arms back and putting power into actively throwing the cat isn't a reflex and that's not someone I'd be happy to have around me or my pets!

I agree with that. Dropping is one thing - throwing is another.

Woahtherehoney · 19/08/2024 22:01

The amount of you that are justifying this is actually quite scary. You don’t throw an animal hard on the floor because it has scratched you! You put it down on the floor or a table. If that cat had hit the table and been seriously injured would you all still be justifying that it’s ok?!?

MintyNew · 19/08/2024 22:01

Friarclose · 19/08/2024 21:52

A very mixed bag of responses it seems. I'm not sure what to think. DH is usually very gentle and he absolutely dotes on our dog. I think it's because if she'd hit that table she could have been seriously hurt. She's 10 so not a spring chicken.

So you know him to be otherwise gentle and this is out of character? You really couldn't think why he would otherwise react like this? I think you owe him an apology

YellowDaffodilRedTulip · 19/08/2024 22:01

MaryBeardsShoes · 19/08/2024 21:43

Drop - instinct, throw - cruel. Only the two of you know which it really was.

This 100%

MintyNew · 19/08/2024 22:00

Well done op for having the perfect response to being severely scratched. If it happens to you, good to know that you will be perfect in your reaction. Im with your dh here.

m00ngirl · 19/08/2024 22:00

Little glimpse into what he's capable of OP. I'd LTB.

Prawncow · 19/08/2024 21:59

Friarclose · 19/08/2024 21:52

A very mixed bag of responses it seems. I'm not sure what to think. DH is usually very gentle and he absolutely dotes on our dog. I think it's because if she'd hit that table she could have been seriously hurt. She's 10 so not a spring chicken.

Cat or dog OP?

SD1978 · 19/08/2024 21:58

If something severely scratched me I'd probably throw it too. It's not an unreasonable reaction, and being shouted at by my partner would not impress me. He had an I juts and a knee jerk reaction- he didn't pick it up and chuck it for fun.

Quitelikeit · 19/08/2024 21:58

The darn thing scratched him and clearly hurt him!

I hate cats -

Ihopeithinkiknow · 19/08/2024 21:56

TinyYellow · 19/08/2024 21:47

He threw her to the ground, not across the room. That leads me to think it was instinctive and the force was because it hurt! The table being there is irrelevant because he didn’t have a chance to consider it. If he hates the cat, he wouldn’t have been helping with flea treatment.

I agree with you but give it twenty minutes and he will be a serial killer and she needs to leave him immediately. You will see the words "concerning" and "true colours" pop up quite a lot as if everyone would be absolutely fine being scratched by a contained cat. And no I'm not saying that throwing a cat to the ground is acceptable because it's not but I can see it happening in this situation because it fucking hurts

LondonFox · 19/08/2024 21:56

EsmaCannonball · 19/08/2024 21:49

My cat is massive and has great fun treating me like prey. I'm regularly minding my own business only to find myself pounced on with some teeth or claws sinking into me and I have never hurt the little darling in response. I've called him a few names but I would never throw him to the ground.

Maybe if you disciplined your massive cat it would not attack you 🤷🏼‍♀️

MultiplaLight · 19/08/2024 21:56

Did he throw her? Or kind of fling her off when he was hurt?

A fling I'd let go.

A proper deliberate throw would be different. However I doubt there was time for him to really think.

TomatoSandwiches · 19/08/2024 21:54

Is she his cat, yours or yours together op?

Takoneko · 19/08/2024 21:53

I wouldn’t be putting a cat that badly scratched me down gently. I would probably throw it away from my body outwards (not downwards with force towards the floor and absolutely would never throw it at a wall or other object). I’d be confident my cat could land without hurting herself. She sometimes likes to be thrown for fun.

I don’t think you can compare throwing a cat to throwing a hamster or guinea pig. Cats are fine with falls. They are built to land without hurting themselves.

PeachRose1986 · 19/08/2024 21:53

Oh no, that’s cruel. I have a cat that scratched me viciously recently (in fear). No reason to treat her cruelly. She was afraid.

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