Mother In law left my kids with a stranger

I don’t think it’s a “sense of community” thing, that’s one woman left with 2 extra kids who don’t know her, what if they’d decided to run off and hide, or suddenly started bawling because where’s Grandma? Nightmare.

It's maths...parent in 50s say 59 minimum age 16 would be 81 now her child would be 64/5 so very unlikely to have young children in the park.

I'm a nana and in my 60s so don't understand this "it was ok in the 1950s" stuff as I wasn't even born then. Someone who was a mother in the 1950s would be over 90 now so, presumably, not in charge of children now.
My children were born in the 80s and 90s but I would never have done this and would never, ever do it with my GCs. I doubt my family would trust me with them again if I was this lax with their safety

I'm sorry but you need to go nuts, if mine did this I would be making sure she never was left in their care again!!!!! wtf.... she could do been anyone. This person could have prayed on her and taken your kids!! So reckless!!!!

Batshit crazy behaviour, and I'm quite a relaxed parent these days!

I was born in the second half of the 1950s. My parents were born in the early 1920s. Both my parents were intelligent, but my mother did almost all of the child rearing, and housekeeping - as was usual in those days in certain communities. My mother would have never left me in the care of a stranger, no matter how short the time period. I don't think that any intelligent person would have ever done that. So to me it is a matter of intelligence, not age.

As a mother and grandmother, the only people who ever look after after my children (apart from me, their dad, and teachers) were their grandmothers, I just couldn't have relaxed if that hadn't been the case.

If anyone had ever approached me in a park etc, and asked me to watch their child for even 5 minutes, unless it was an utter emergency, I would have said:

"No, I'm sorry but I can't take on the responsibility of looking after your child/ren, please either take them with you, or buy them some water from that little cafe".

If I had had my own small children, or my grandchildren with me, I would have added:

"My grand/children would have to take priority over yours if anything happened, so it is a big no"!.

Omg, that is completely reckless of her 😱

Well, that's the last time she's unsupervised with your children..

Nope.....

Yeah that's astonishingly negligent.

In 1950, the average age of a mother in the UK at her first birth was 24.5 years old. So born in 1925... I'm assuming OPs MIL isn't approaching her 100th birthday...

@Caro2322 absolute madness on mil's part. I'm so sorry. Question is was it a temporary lapse in judgement or part of a pattern? Her reaction doesn't bode well.

It's sad really, that we live somewhere with so little sense of community that a grandmother can't leave 2 children with another woman for 10 minutes.

We live on planet Earth, not Utopia.

Nope. Nope nope nope.

😵

I think it was a lapse of judgement to do it, but I don't go along with the 'she's insane, I'd never speak to her again' line of thinking.

It's sad really, that we live somewhere with so little sense of community that a grandmother can't leave 2 children with another woman for 10 minutes.

She was definitely wrong not to acknowledge you (and apologise!) when you spoke to her about it.

I totally agree. I would have to be unconscious or dead before I ever allowed my grandson out of my sight caring for him whilst out in public.

Can’t believe what I’ve just read. I would never trust her with my children again.

Mil here..good grief no. Most grandparents are more careful than parents with their grandchildren.

Hmmmm. Would I hand my dog to a stranger in a park while I popped home for 10 minutes? No I bloody well wouldn’t. So how in any realm could your Mil think leaving your children was a safe thing to do? Obviously she can’t ever look after them again.
Hope you’ve got over the shock.

Jeez!

I'm in my 70s and I never left my children with someone I didn't know!

Here we go...

Kids weren't just left with random people back then either

This is the kind of thing my mum would have done (she was a parent in the 70s/80s) and that's why she was never allowed/encouraged to look after any of her grandchildren! She had the general perception that any other women with children were fine to be trusted with children/seek advice from.
The irony with her is that she would have been furious if someone else dumped their kids on her, mind!

To be fair, I wouldn't have left the children with a stranger either, being rather risk-averse - but I grew up in an age when a mother could trust another mother, if they had a sense of her as being someone alert and reliable. Yes, you can usually tell. And it was only for a few minutes. (I know, I know, GM could have been run over by a bus in the meantime, but sensible and reliable stranger mother would have known what to do.)

I was the random lady in this situation once. But worse.

We live in a small town and were at the lovely park having a picnic and my kids got playing with someone's grandkids. Told us they're staying with grandma in our town. Grandma got up to leave and kids (aged 10 and 6) kicked off wanting to stay with my kids. Grandma asked if I'd mind and I said no, that's fine. I asked where they live and she said 'the kids know' and off she went. Only after she left did I suddenly realise I had a stranger's kids with me and had no phone number for parents or grandparents, not even the names of grandparents and no idea where they lived. I let the kids play for a while and then said 'Right we're all heading off'. Walked up into town and the random kids knew exactly where they were going and led us straight to their grandparents. Granny was washing up when we got there - smiled and nodded like it was the most normal thing in the world to have a stranger dropping off the kids. Almost certainly just part of a different generation where that kind of thing was fine, but I couldn't stop thinking that the parents would be absolutely appalled if they realised what had just happened and I was a bit horrified with myself for ending up in that situation too.

[goes out on a limb]
Massive overreaction, if woman in question agreed to keep an eye on them.

Dereliction, if she didn't.

ETA: You're talking about 10 minutes max here, not all afternoon