Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To suggest a male curfew one night a week

786 replies

twojumps · 19/08/2024 17:41

when women can walk free in the streets without fear?

Yes, violence still happens in homes and behind closed doors but what a powerful message it would send.

I'd say every night but let's start with one.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
FrippEnos · 19/08/2024 18:58

twilightermummy

I'd suggest the Freedom programme to be rolled out in schools for teenage girls from the age of 14 and re-enforced ever year. The boys could also have a similar project to teach them healthy relationships and behaviours towards women.

Would the boys programme include how they should be treated in a relationship? Because very few teenage relationships are healthy from either side.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 19/08/2024 18:57

ALL women aren't under a self imposed curfew
ALL women don't change their behaviours because scaremongering Internet people tell them to

OP is proposing ALL men are LAWFULLY punished for the minority

There's a difference

x2boys · 19/08/2024 18:57

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Previously banned poster.

There would be much fewer of those taxis,as at least where I am most taxi drivers are men.

JohnofWessex · 19/08/2024 18:57

Hum........

An idea that goes back to the 70's when women who were told to stay off the streets at night quite rightly pointed out that they were not the problem it was men.

So lets go beyond the important symbolism.

While as one commentator has pointed out most/much violence against women - and men for that matter happens in the home BUT that isnt as easy to Police in the way that 'public order' is.

And of course if we want to help break our dependency on the car.

So why isnt being a twat in public a policing priority? Why dont we sweep up the drunk, agressive and abusive into a drunk tank in Yeovil and leave them to find their way home when they are sober on Sunday morning? Take away the boy racers cars and driving licences etc etc

It could be done with benefits to men and women alike

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 19/08/2024 18:56

BargingOnBy · 19/08/2024 18:31

unfortunately, it is not all mindset if you get dragged into the bushes and raped at 1am

Luckily
This isn't happening as a matter of course anyway!

Most rape is by people known to the victim. They don't grab random women and drag them off to rape them.

It's just scaremongering

nocoolnamesleft · 19/08/2024 18:56

Pity it's only a thought experiment, and not realistic. Because it would feel amazing.

Mickey79 · 19/08/2024 18:55

No. Restricting a group of people’s freedoms, based purely on a ‘characteristic’ is a dangerous, slippery slope.
A male curfew is discriminatory and wont keep women safe ( domestic violence is a much bigger problem than stranger violence). The men who do pose a danger are the ones who would ignore a curfew, and it would be those who are not a threat adhering to it. Effectively punishing the innocent. I can’t get on board with this idea at all.

BargingOnBy · 19/08/2024 18:55

BargingOnBy · 19/08/2024 18:44

That is how a lot of women have to live at the moment.

Interested in whether you are male or female @StoneHenge85 to post such an offensive thing?

Just seen from another thread that you are male @StoneHenge85. You should be ashamed of your disgusting misogynistic views.

MyUmberSeal · 19/08/2024 18:55

It’s a crap idea, we don’t all feel like defenceless and vulnerable women in fear for our lives when we go out at night. I feel perfectly safe. Most of my mates are male, I wouldn’t have a social life if they had to stay at home.

Jazz7 · 19/08/2024 18:55

Ridiculous. Why do you for a minute not think the only men following it would be the good ones. The perverts who cause the problems would absolutely love it. No decent men around to help if needed. Why demonise the majority of men who would never threaten or attack a woman and in fact would help if needed

ToniFire · 19/08/2024 18:55

Don't be flipping ridiculous.

Go about your life - safely and by taking any precautions you feel necessary - but to live in this society would be a massive backwards step.

SamVan · 19/08/2024 18:54

I would love this! I would love to walk safely on the streets with one boob out if I so wish without worrying about being attacked or harassed. The only times I've felt threatened or been attacked or robbed has been by men. Having just a few hours of total freedom would be such a treat.

Findwen · 19/08/2024 18:54

Wife: "Oh god, that was the last nappy - I'm exhausted and still in pain from the birth can you go out and get some more ?"
Husband: "Sorry dear, it's curfew night. See you when you get back."

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 19/08/2024 18:54

PuggyPuggyPuggy · 19/08/2024 18:36

I think people are missing the point of the idea. It's not workable, no. Of course not. But what was the suggestion when, for example, the Yorkshire Ripper was active? Women should stay home, or not go out alone. But women being out wasn't the problem, was it? It was one of the men - who were swanning around unimpeded - doing the murdering. If the rule had been "no men on the streets after dark" - well, any man out and about would be under suspicion.

All women are expected to change their behaviour to avoid being harmed by (some) men. How would it be if instead, all men were expected to change their behaviour to avoid women being harmed by (some) men? * *

It's not a workable idea, more a thought experiment. It's like asking "what would happen if men experienced periods / the pain of childbirth / menopause?"

Completely agree. It's always the women who have to find the solutions for VAWG.

JabbaTheBeachHut · 19/08/2024 18:52

Rachie1973 · 19/08/2024 18:50

Not to mention if they did break curfew and go out we’d have a vastly reduced police force to arrest them if men aren’t at work.

Yes, over 63% of police officers in England and Wales are male apparently.

WhereDoWeGoFromHereBill · 19/08/2024 18:51

Can't wait for this! Love Sarah Parish

ilovesooty · 19/08/2024 18:51

Completely impracticable.

FrippEnos · 19/08/2024 18:51

PuggyPuggyPuggy · 19/08/2024 18:48

That's it in a nutshell.

How does this make it a problem for all men?

Rachie1973 · 19/08/2024 18:50

Stoptherideiwanttogetoff24 · 19/08/2024 17:54

And you think all the rapists and attackers would stay home because it’s against the rules to go out and commit crimes on a Wednesday…..

they’d be more likely to as all the women would be undefended by brothers, friends, husbands, boyfriends, dads…. You know all the good men who don’t commit crimes and care about and respect women

Not to mention if they did break curfew and go out we’d have a vastly reduced police force to arrest them if men aren’t at work.

DrinkElephants · 19/08/2024 18:49

OoodlesofNoodles · 19/08/2024 17:42

And punish the majority for the actions of the minority?

My thoughts too. Let’s tarnish all men as violent individuals who pose a risk to women when it is the minority.

TheSpoonyNavyReader · 19/08/2024 18:48

As a parent of 2 sons and 2 daughters.

My mind is blown, I have brought up my sons to be respectful of any person.

Do not tar all men with the same brush.

PuggyPuggyPuggy · 19/08/2024 18:48

5475878237NC · 19/08/2024 18:44

The only way violence against women will be solved is if it's a problem for ALL men. So I'm in favour of the ideology behind it.

That's it in a nutshell.

MoosakaWithFries · 19/08/2024 18:46

twojumps · 19/08/2024 18:19

@JabbaTheBeachHut

Give me your suggestions then? How do we reduce or end male violence?

More police and social workers, a CPS that is victim focused, stronger sentences for offenders, naming and shaming in the media following convictions and support for survivors.

All the above applicable for men and women because DA victims are not just female.

You will never end violence but banning men one night a week is ludicrous and you know it.

FreedomDogs · 19/08/2024 18:45

5475878237NC · 19/08/2024 18:44

The only way violence against women will be solved is if it's a problem for ALL men. So I'm in favour of the ideology behind it.

I think everyone's in favour of the "ideology behind it" as in everyone here does want to see violence against women reduced. We just think it's a stupid idea that wouldn't work anyway.

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 18:45

Nope.
That's not the answer.