Kids allowed to roam all over visiting house ?

Stop hinting! “Thanks so much for coming, it’s time for us to x y z so I’ll see you out and let’s meet up again soon”.

Stop providing meals to people you don’t want to stay.

I wouldn't let my kids do that and I wouldn't let visiting kids do it in my house. I'd have said something. Is there a reason you stayed quiet? "Can you make sure the kids stay in this room please as I've left stuff out that I don't want them playing with in other rooms, thank you"

I’d maybe ask hosts if I could have a wander with her so she didn’t feel like she was missing something (like a magic room of toys for example)
But that’s equally rude? I’d be annoyed if you asked to bring your dd on a tour of my house to reassure her that her fomo was unjustified.
Unbelievable.

Very. It's fucking rude and a violation of your privacy. I'd have told her in no uncertain terms that upstairs was private and to get out immediately.

This is a good suggestion.

I always shout “not up the stairs” because I don’t like kids upstairs. Some people just flop
on your sofa and allow their kids to run feral. They seem to come to my house and end up never leaving - having two meals whilst I’m trying to hint about them leaving.

I’ve known visiting DC try and go upstairs but a firm “stay down here please” has worked and I don’t care what their parents think if they’re not watching them properly. The one time someone got past me with their child to “play” in DD’s room as I was with the newborn and DH was making tea, we had a house full, I’ve refused to have them over again.

The patronising comments suggesting you’re clueless and will learn not to care say more about the posters than you. It’s perfectly normal to have standards of decency in your home, whatever age your child is.

It’s very odd behaviour, and frankly whatever they do in their circle is irrelevant.
It’s just as unacceptable whether all their mates do it or not!

Sorry but no way. Kids also need boundaries and to hear the word no and to learn respect. Not a hope in hell I’d let my DD behave like that at any age. I’d maybe ask hosts if I could have a wander with her so she didn’t feel like she was missing something (like a magic room of toys for example), because I think that’s what younger ones somethings are looking for. But I’d keep mine in sight, and make sure she had something to do or someone entertaining her and I always have. Oh and FWIW, despite my feelings on boundaries/respect/saying no, I say yes an awful lot and I’m pretty gentle too.

No I didn't want to tell her off as I see them so seldom - and I wondered if it was something they all did in their circle. I think I just said something like, oh there you are - come downstairs, we're going to ... whatever and then not long after that her parents came. But do you think it's odd behaviour?

Did you tell her to get out?

Sounds like you would spend hours preparing for your friends with kids to pop over for a coffee? That seems mad to me, especially getting child locks if you don’t have children!

Are you fucking joking?

I don't have children, therefore I don't have a childproofed house.

Short of maybe putting the loo cleaner out of the way, I expect people with children, dogs etc to control them themselves, it's not my job.

I found two children I didn't know that well wandering in and out of our bedroom on our wedding day. By all means have a nosey around the communal areas of the house but not in private areas!

Not normal behaviour at all.
I can't imagine anyone I know with children allowing that or tolerating it for a minute in their home.
Your boundaries aren't great, most people would stop that very firmly.
Very rude behaviour....from the adults.
The children know no better, clearly.

I disagree.

Mine have never done this. If visiting they stay in the room with the hosts and politely ask to use the bathroom if needed.

It's also not something I would ever allow in my home.

Congratulations on the new baby OP but time to parent other people's kids if your friends don't do it when in your home.

No, that’s extremely poor manners and shit lack of parenting on your friends’ behalf. Only ok to go into dc’s room if on a play date/sleepover.

I do. But I do find both children and parents look at me as if I have dead bodies stashed in other rooms or something.

I’ve often had parents trying to go upstairs “to check on their dc.” Some times you just give in but it does make me feel like I have to haul off all my underwear drying on thd heated towel rail in the bathtoom etc before people come which irritates me, as I feel as though these areas should be sacrosanct.

Not normal. I wouldn’t allow my children to do this.

No. It's what kids have been allowed to do

Hang on, she invited her kid’s friends older siblings as well? Why?

Only if they are allowed to be like this. My children wouldn't have done it and I'd have had no qualms in telling any child trying that behaviour in my house to stop.

Well I’m five years in and I still can’t stand it when children do this. Even for play dates ( as opposed to adult centric visits) I expect the children to play in Dc bedroom or downstairs not run through the house, our bedroom, roll on bed in spare bedroom, open bathroom cupboards etc. They don’t follow this though.

Plus if they injure themselves whilst unsupervised, you are potentially liable