Kids allowed to roam all over visiting house ?

Ugh I had friends who would let their kids do this and I hated it and made it known. I would say to the kids in a polite way if the door is closed to a room they shouldn't go in, they asked why in front of my friends (seemed like this was brand new info they had never heard) and I told them it's rude to go into closed rooms in someone else's house without asking.
I have 3 DC and do not allow this behaviour at all...because it's super rude!

YANBU to think it is neither 'normal' nor acceptable, but, as others have pointed out, YABU not to have told them that if their parents have no manners.

@SwishMyCape has given some ideas if you find that difficult.

Your house your rules. And you can express this in a friendly and firm way to the children in the hearing of their parents.

'the toys are downstairs so we'll stay down here'

'in this house the visitors stay downstairs '

'no, we don't wander off exploring in somebody else's house'

Bit harsh saying I shouldn’t have kids ffs! If you read what I said… I said any items I didn’t want found… toys or medication were out of reach.
It isn’t ideal and I’m not saying that’s what they did the whole time, but they were upstairs so if they went in our rooms so be it. Who keeps an eye on their kids 24/7 in their own home? They’re not babies now!

Myself at that age. My friends. My kids' friends. Lots done have a very well developed moral code at that age.

Well I'm sure she wouldn't nick anything, but I did wonder if she was nosying into anything. As far as I know she didn't open any drawers or cupboards in my room, but later on I found she had left me a little post-it note message in a cupboard in the hall! 😅

Jesus what kind of 14 year olds do you know? 😅

At 14??? Any kid going through bedrooms at that age isn't just bored or curious, they're probably looking for something they can nick.

No, it isn't normal. It is the parents faults though.

I have been a parent for 14 years and still agree with the OP that these kids are odd and their parents should have sorted out their nosey annoying behavior

Insanely bad manners. Parents should bring stuff to keep their kids amused but it wouldn't hurt to have a stash of something if you are having a lot of visitors to see a newborn.

We had visitors once who commented in an amused tone when I queried where she was and if she was ok that their child was "a bit light-fingered" when she wandered off and it was ignored. Have firmly locked doors ever since and discouraged anything other than essential visits.

I thought I was a fairly soft parent but there is no way I would tolerate this - from my children or anyone else's

With mine - at toddler age I would follow around, shutting doors and distracting/removing them from the various stuff - cue tantrums and dealing with that - often solved by leaving. I hated visiting and always kept it short because it was so stressful. Older children were clearly briefed on expected behaviours in other people's homes.

If someone was visiting me I would keep the stairgate across the bottom step even when older children were there and would tell my children beforehand that no-one went upstairs. If I saw one trying/ could hear them I would send them downstairs and reinforce this.

I had two incidents where children got upstairs into bedrooms and managed to cause absolute havoc before I got to them. It is amazing how much damage a child can do when they think destroying things is a game.

Those families were never invited again. In fact I suggested they leave immediately as I was very cross.

You could have politely asked for them not to go in bedrooms or knock on the door. I'm guessing the coming in and out and knocking on the door was like a repetitive toddler game.

The fact is Wingedharpy, that not everyone wants to childproof their home for other people's kids, why should you? I am currently in the process of teaching my great grandson not to touch the chess set which he finds very tempting every time he comes to visit. I know it's a temptation, but kids need to learn, and moving anything breakable out of their reach, is not only a pain, but doesn't teach them anything. His Mum, spent a lot of time with me when she was little, and knows what's expected, so polices him accordingly. There's no way that I would allow anyone's child to rampage through my home, if the parents don't police them, I do it myself, and then don't invite those people back, as they obviously don't give a shit about how their kids behave, and it's not my job to teach the kids or their parents how to behave.

That's piss poor parenting!

The expense is a big element people don’t consider. I shop to a meal plan. So if I’m catering for generally two more kids plus one more adult it gets expensive. Especially as the invites often aren’t returned! I love having people but it gets tiring.

You just have to stand at the bottom and call them down. I always brief them “not up the stairs”. Kids take instructions better from adults who aren’t their parent, generally!

I did the viewings for a house I was renting years ago and I wes appalled by the kids of the families who viewed. I know that it’s different as everyone is allowed to view the whole house but the kids would tear through the place, pick things up and throw them, go under beds, open drawers, pull clothes off drying racks and hide them, steal food - it was endless and the parents would just do that “oh dear..: kids eh?” thing that made me want to slap them!

So no I don’t think it’s abnormal at all but it’s absolutely wrong. So many lazy parents these days though.

New baby . No no visitors other then close family who make you tea and meals .
Take your baby and go and visit friends .
Benefit you make no tea and friends children misbehave in their own home .

We were the family with the big garden with play equipment as well.

I loved my children having friends over but I bluntly (but in a friendly tone) kick them out when it’s time to feed people. Otherwise I was going broke feeding 3 or 4 extra kids multiple times a week

Ds would not have been allowed to do this.

But one of the interesting things about raising a child is seeing how many people do things so differently and there's such a spectrum.

I've had kids jumping on my sofa and parents praising them for good jumping - errrr no!!!

What you need to learn to do is make it clear what you will allow in your house.
If you are likely to start having lots of visitors with children now you have a newborn I'd start now with baby proofing and buy a load of stair gates!!!!

Also have stuff for them to do and get it out so you can redirect to suitable activities

Congratulations btw

This is not normal.

Sorry but it is not normal for other peoples kids to be playing in another adult couples bedroom and under the bed.

How would you feel if your child came down the stairs with some adult toys in their hand? Or took some medication that they shouldn't?

An adult couples bedroom is their private space. Most kids do not even behave like this in their own parents bedroom. It is not a playground

and this comment 'knew keeping an eye on them was pointless!' - you probably shouldn't have kids.

It happens ALL the time. I’ve stopped inviting some people round. I say to my DH what is it about our house that makes people NEVER want to leave 😂😂 when I say “pop round” I think two hours is about right.

We have a lot of land and play equipment and kids love visiting. But it puts me off having people because they always overstay and it eats into my day!

I had someone who did this. They pulled some medication out of my handbag and my friend actually told me off - she said I shouldn’t have left medication within reach of
children - it was in my bag because I needed to carry it with me! I said no offence but they shouldn’t be in my bag…!

Why all the exclamations marks? It's not a given that children are going to go through your house you know, as the homeowner you should set boundaries not just roll your eyes.