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AIBU?

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Original poster

To just have an effing rant.

56 replies

CyanSnake · 19/08/2024 15:48

i just seriously need to rant before I explode.

My partner died a little over a year ago and I decided I needed a break from the well paid, but very stressful career I was in.

I’ve moved to a related industry and I’m just miserable. I’m paid £32k (much less than I was)

for that I sit on the firms board of directors (but I don’t have a director title), I line manage an entire department and I project manage at present about 4/5 big product projects.

We are not allowed flexible working or hybrid - it “isn’t something the company does” (Unless you’re a member of the family that owns it of course, then you have unlimited early finishes and work from
home as needed)

Since starting this job, I’ve needed to find the money to replace my car as the old one broken down completely, the new one now has a warning light and the my boiler has died and will need replacing. Currently living with no heating or hot water as I simply have no funds. My bank balance is 78p for the next two weeks. The money I’m paying out in the loan for the new car and repairs swallows up basically all my disposable income

I have cancelled my holiday - lost the deposit but couldn’t afford to go on it.

i no longer get a weekly shop delivered. We live off pot noodles and bread, as I am the only one bringing money in.

ex-partner had a lot of debts I have to pay off and I just can’t manage anymore.

all this while my boss (I’m the only one actually qualified to deliver the service the company offers btw… my boss just has the money) has her third sunny foreign holiday and the middle class new kid on the desk opposite moans about having to use of some of the house deposit money to buy tickets for his two weeks across the world (also his third holiday!!)

I grew up quite poor, worked really hard, went to uni, have a masters, saved for the house deposit without any help, I work and work and work and all I have for it is the most basic survival - it’s not a life.

What is point?

thanks for listening.

OP posts:
AFmammaG · 19/08/2024 15:58

Can I gently suggest separating out the issues?
How did you end up paying for the debts? Were you married?

Being the only one qualified to do the role and the family of the boss etc are nothing to do with you. Either accept that is the way the company operates or look for something else? There must be a middle ground between the high stress high paid job you had originally and this one.

Thirdly, look at ways to make extra money or reduce outgoings. I know that sounds easy but I’ve made a bit of cash selling things second hand and also I’ve cut back on spending. It has made a difference.

Tel12 · 19/08/2024 15:57

Surely you're not liable for your partner's debt? Why don't you negotiate a pay rise? Plus look for better paid work? You say we, who else are you supporting? Things don't have to stay as they are.

Original poster
CyanSnake · 19/08/2024 15:56

I can’t downsize as I in my low state, I’ve let DIY and maintenance jobs wrack up and the house isn’t in a state to sell.

Im desperately searching for a job back what I used to do, but worried I’ve knackered myself taking the break.

OP posts:
DinnaeFashYersel · 19/08/2024 15:55

Definitely time to look for a new job.

Sheelanogig · 19/08/2024 15:53

Is it time to start looking for another job?

There's alot of shitty stuff going on and if the key factor is money and earning more would reduce the pressure - then moving jobs would be an option, as would taking on a second job but that has tax issues and you'll be knackered.

Or can you downsize your property?

bergamotorange · 19/08/2024 15:51

I think you're entitled to a rant Flowers

But I think a new job sounds a good idea, you're qualified to earn more and that would help.

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