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AIBU?

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Original poster

To just have an effing rant.

56 replies

CyanSnake · 19/08/2024 15:48

i just seriously need to rant before I explode.

My partner died a little over a year ago and I decided I needed a break from the well paid, but very stressful career I was in.

I’ve moved to a related industry and I’m just miserable. I’m paid £32k (much less than I was)

for that I sit on the firms board of directors (but I don’t have a director title), I line manage an entire department and I project manage at present about 4/5 big product projects.

We are not allowed flexible working or hybrid - it “isn’t something the company does” (Unless you’re a member of the family that owns it of course, then you have unlimited early finishes and work from
home as needed)

Since starting this job, I’ve needed to find the money to replace my car as the old one broken down completely, the new one now has a warning light and the my boiler has died and will need replacing. Currently living with no heating or hot water as I simply have no funds. My bank balance is 78p for the next two weeks. The money I’m paying out in the loan for the new car and repairs swallows up basically all my disposable income

I have cancelled my holiday - lost the deposit but couldn’t afford to go on it.

i no longer get a weekly shop delivered. We live off pot noodles and bread, as I am the only one bringing money in.

ex-partner had a lot of debts I have to pay off and I just can’t manage anymore.

all this while my boss (I’m the only one actually qualified to deliver the service the company offers btw… my boss just has the money) has her third sunny foreign holiday and the middle class new kid on the desk opposite moans about having to use of some of the house deposit money to buy tickets for his two weeks across the world (also his third holiday!!)

I grew up quite poor, worked really hard, went to uni, have a masters, saved for the house deposit without any help, I work and work and work and all I have for it is the most basic survival - it’s not a life.

What is point?

thanks for listening.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
AdviceNeeded2024 · 21/08/2024 17:59

This sounds dreadful you are being paid a pittance compared to your responsibilities. You can’t go on like this you’ll burn yourself out.

I am sure you may have done but have a look at the public sector, Civil Service in particular with your skill set. Much better benefits than what you’re getting now and most are hybrid working. Could be good place to start for at least a year or two if you’ve got a non compete.

Don’t worry if you can’t hit everything on a job spec, still apply.

Good Luck x

sunseaandsoundingoff · 21/08/2024 17:47

If the competitor wants you, and it sounds like they would since what you do is niche, they may keep it on the down low you've gone to work with them.

I worked for a company that did this. The staff members just kept it quiet and didn't update their LinkedIn until the year had passed. When people asked who they were going to work for, they just said they were taking time off for private family reasons or gave some plausible sounding initials of a company and made up the role, downplaying it so it sounded boring.

Also a good reason to persuade the competitor to let you work from home, since it will be less obvious.

User623 · 21/08/2024 17:43

Time for a new job or a very frank discussion with the owner.

Loloj · 21/08/2024 17:40

Your company sounds awful - you need another job - you could easily earn more money with less responsibility than what you have now.

sounds really similar to my ex boss - played scare tactics with everyone “oh it won’t go down well if you ask for more money - it should be about your commitment to the job” etc and then he will decide when to throw you a few crumbs- which ended up barely being an incremental rise with inflation despite taking on more and more responsibility- bollocks to that OP - new job time!

Vatqueenquestion · 21/08/2024 17:30

That's a poorly worded gardening leave clause (IANAL). You might want to post on Legal about it, or ask ACAS or Citizens Advice about exactly what you are committed to. If they don't specify the period of time you are not allowed to work a competitior for, is it forever? In which case this is unreasonable able and possibly unenforceable.

Youtoldmeonce · 21/08/2024 17:26

Contact Step Change asap

endofthelinefinally · 21/08/2024 17:23

Couple of other things OP, are you in a union and does your home insurance include legal advice/ cover? If yes, you could approach both for help.

Original poster
CyanSnake · 21/08/2024 17:23

Yes, I just took what was told to me as gospel because I was still in shock and didn’t want to lose the house.

i will seek advice from some of the orgs given in this thread

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 21/08/2024 17:21

Touty · 21/08/2024 17:18

But if this is fraud/criminal activity on his part surely you can’t be liable for the debts? You can challenge these?

Show quote history

I was coming on to say this. You need legal advice regarding his debts.

Touty · 21/08/2024 17:18

CyanSnake · 21/08/2024 17:13

My partner hid a lot from me. Most of the debts are secured against the house or have charging orders on that I didnt know about

Show quote history

But if this is fraud/criminal activity on his part surely you can’t be liable for the debts? You can challenge these?

Original poster
CyanSnake · 21/08/2024 17:13

SauviGone · 21/08/2024 17:11

Why are you liable for your partners debts?

Why aren’t you answering the question?

Edited

My partner hid a lot from me. Most of the debts are secured against the house or have charging orders on that I didnt know about

OP posts:
SauviGone · 21/08/2024 17:11

Why are you liable for your partners debts?

Why aren’t you answering the question?

Original poster
CyanSnake · 21/08/2024 17:08

SunQueen24 · 21/08/2024 16:05

So she’s not allowed to do whatever it is she’s been doing for the company or the 12 months before she leaves.

What does the rest say OP? For what period? It can’t be indefinite.

i would try the legal board - you need someone with an employment law background.

Show quote history

That’s it, that’s all the clause says

OP posts:
turkeyboots · 21/08/2024 16:14

Non compete clauses rarely stand up in court, particularly if this is your main bread earning skillset. And legal action is tiresome and expensive for a family owned business.

Best of luck with the application.

SunQueen24 · 21/08/2024 16:05

cupcaske123 · 21/08/2024 16:01

in the 12 months prior to the termination of your employment

Show quote history

So she’s not allowed to do whatever it is she’s been doing for the company or the 12 months before she leaves.

What does the rest say OP? For what period? It can’t be indefinite.

i would try the legal board - you need someone with an employment law background.

cupcaske123 · 21/08/2024 16:05

CyanSnake · 21/08/2024 16:02

So, if I leave I can compete straight away? I assumed it held for an amount of time after I left?

Apply away OP. There's nothing in your contract saying you can't.

Original poster
CyanSnake · 21/08/2024 16:02

So, if I leave I can compete straight away? I assumed it held for an amount of time after I left?

OP posts:
cupcaske123 · 21/08/2024 16:01

CyanSnake · 21/08/2024 15:58

I’ve had a quick sweep and my equivalent at a competitor is on £100k… just a team leader is advertised as £40k. I’ve applied.

The clause says, “You undertake not to compete directly or indirectly, whether as director, shareholder, employee, consultant, proprietor or agent or in any other capacity, with that part of the Employer's business with which you were involved as an employee in the 12 months prior to the termination of your employment”

Thats all it says

in the 12 months prior to the termination of your employment

Original poster
CyanSnake · 21/08/2024 15:58

I’ve had a quick sweep and my equivalent at a competitor is on £100k… just a team leader is advertised as £40k. I’ve applied.

The clause says, “You undertake not to compete directly or indirectly, whether as director, shareholder, employee, consultant, proprietor or agent or in any other capacity, with that part of the Employer's business with which you were involved as an employee in the 12 months prior to the termination of your employment”

Thats all it says

OP posts:
SunQueen24 · 21/08/2024 15:47

OP I’m sorry for your loss.

You haven’t said why you’re liable for your partners debts?

How much would your role be worth somewhere else? Have you checked you’re not entitled to UC etc?

Also you’ve mentioned a covenant re working someone else - is that paid? It seems quite onerous - have you had it checked out to see if it’s actually enforceable?

longdistanceclaraclara · 21/08/2024 15:42

What does it say in your CL tract about PILON, used to be gardening leave? How much is your notice period?

A year is ridiculous for your salary level.

Why are you responsible for your partners debt?

TheDrunkenClam · 21/08/2024 15:40

@CyanSnake
Don't just drop hints to your boss - tell him/her that you are actively seeking a new role as you are not being adequately paid for the job you are doing. They may not ‘like it’ but what have you got to lose?
And just for comparison, I earned nearly £10k more than that last year in a completely remote, entry level job for an online retailer. You are worth so much more.

Howmanycatsistoomany · 21/08/2024 15:40

CyanSnake · 21/08/2024 14:51

I’m looking for another job but struggling because I’m only qualified in this field, but my contract has a non-compete cause that says I can’t work for a competitor in any capacity.

wtf?! Very much doubt that's legal.

BBKP · 21/08/2024 15:34

CyanSnake · 21/08/2024 14:51

I’m looking for another job but struggling because I’m only qualified in this field, but my contract has a non-compete cause that says I can’t work for a competitor in any capacity.

Non compete clauses are unenforceable- apply to a competitor.

JengaCupboard · 21/08/2024 15:13

jolene7 · 21/08/2024 15:00

Ignore the non-compete, please. They won't spend the money to take it further.

Totally agree with this - they are highly, highly unlikely to ever pursue this. It is very popular in my industry and I've only ever known one to be executed - for a very senior member of staff at which point the new employer just paid them off.

They sound like archaic bare minimum employers who expect the world for nothing. Your boss doesn't like discussing pay-rises? That's terribly convenient!!

Get out of there ASAP!