Am I really that U to change name at work?!

It's a hard one as some women have
Firstname newsurname (née old surname) on signatures so everyone knows it's the same person, but you weren't born the old surname.

Guess is she was upset because she cannot accept that people have different cultures, values, interests or wants. She sees her views as superior to everyone else’s. I wonder if the person you are responding to looks down on all those cultures around the world with different naming practices? Or is it just women that they look down on?

I can’t believe we still think we should take women’s agency from them and dictate their own names. I’m fully behind parents selecting names for their children (cause frankly 3 year olds aren’t sensible about such things) - but as an adult the only person who should control your name is you (and in rare cases the government when you decide to call yourself ^#{%++{% or another problematic name).

If you want to change your name change it! Either legally or socially.

FTR I’ve not changed my name and have no plans to. But I’ll be damned if what society thinks of me will stop me (the admin however likely would be a point against).

Tell them yes you really are changing your name.

It’s your name, your choice. The company just has to figure it out. If you get external email ask them to forward the old address to your new address (if it uses your surname).

It will confuse some people, you should be understanding that people will mix it up a bit. You might consider updating your email signature for a couple months to include (previously Ruby Killerwhale) to help people.

If they drag their heels I’d update my status to - my name is actually Ruby Orca - I’m working with IT to fix the error (passive aggressive I know but I am petty and know I wouldn’t lose my job over it)

That's completely jobsworth on behalf of IT. If they comment again, say it's not your fault thair systems aren't fit for purpose.

People who make comments about your personal decisions are being unprofessional. It's none of their business. Of course they will want to know why you are changing your name, that's human curiosity, but you don't owe them an explanation, and making a comment about it is just rude. Make sure you keep those people at arms length from now on. How do they cope when they work with people from other culters? "Ooh, she's doing something I haven't done, I must point that out in a way that implies I don't approve". Twats.

I'm really curious to know what "life values" couldn't possibly be shared between people who change their name and those who don't.
Care to enlighten us, @KarmenPQZ ?

Why is it “depressing”?

Seriously?? You were “very upset” because people change their names?

Being 50 plus I know loads of people who have changed their names, through marriage, divorce, deed poll.

Never once has it upset me!! That is so weird. You questioned their life values??

How bizarre, I'm late 30s and don't know anyone who hasnt changed their name personally or professionally in last 10 years I've been in my job. I'm getting married next week and it never even crossed my mind not to change my mind. Why were you upset with your sister? Surely it's her choice..

i think it's an anglosaxon thing/tradition. I grew up in EU mainland, over 3 countries. I don't know any women of my generation (gen x) or my parent's one who contemplated changing their name upon marrying.

It's very similar to Paganism - very nature based.

I'm not Heathen but a lot of it is lovely and essentially living a good life with good morals/intentions.

There is a Pagan/Heathen group in Cornwall/Devon way currently preparing to demonstrate in London about immigration eroding the English traditions.

Hold on- I thought that “Heathen” was just a phrase meaning “not religious”.

Heathen is a culture and belief system in itself?! Wow. Every day is a school day.

Or spell “lose”

Some of these responses are mad. I changed my name and love that I have the same name as my family for reasons I can't really explain but I just do. I have friends who didn't change their name. I don't judge them and they don't judge me. Thank god we're not those kind of people

That's quite dramatic!

How strange!

You get married as a women you automatically loose part of your identity and then loose ability to make independent decisions as so many women believe they have to consult their husband on every decision to be made while men keep their identity and have full abilities to make independent decisions without a discussion with their wife a women can also loose financial independence through marriage

There's something wrong if it's a headache. My IT department told me that basically my old email address still exists but that the name attached to it they've updated. They've then added an email address with my new surname as an alias attached to the original one - basically either email address can be used and the name associated with the account is my new one. They couldn't change my username for a couple of the systems which is linked to my old name but I'm not bothered about that.
I got no questions about doing that and I'm over 40 and had my old name there for several years!

call yourself what you like
your IT team should be able to set up an alias on your account so that anyone emailing misting.oldname@... will still get through to your mistingnewname@ email address.

Does the fact that countless women make a different choice and keep their own name not tell you anything?
It's absolutely acceptable to do so, and the fact that op has chosen not to is nobody else's business.

She's chosen to do this. She has that choice. Calm down!