secretive about "good" A level grades to family.

DD2 did her GCSEs this year. She was upset at the weekend because we were at a family barbeque and everyone said oh let us know your results on Thursday. ILs are just as bad.
She hasn't decided if she wants to tell people yet. I just told her not to worry about it and she could decide later.
It's really nothing to do with you. Just be happy that she's happy.

I would find it really weird to hide this.

Because she might have got lower than she anticipated, but still enough to secure a place at uni or whatever she plans to do next.

Suspect it's this - we've had muted response from DGP when results have been lower than expected/predicted even if they've still been good - so every if you aren't like that OP others may be.

When I passed my driving test I commonly got asked 'was it first time?' like why would that matter?

1st, 2nd or 23rd time the result was still exactly the same, now I can legally drive.

Someone could have 5x 1 hour driving lessons then take their test and fail then have another 5 lessons then pass the 2nd time vs. someone having 100x 1 hour driving lessons then pass 1st time.

Its interesting because people seem to act like a first time pass makes you a better driver but it doesn't, my brother passed his practical test first time but failed his theory (the knowledge bit about actual road safety) multiple times yet no one ever asks about that.

If she got an A* or D does it even matter, I'm sure it will serve its purpose as a step to the next level of education so its doing the same job regardless just as a driver can now drive regardless.

You know she’s happy - why have you made this all about you?

you can celebrate her and be proud of her without having to know every detail.

You have taken this personally - a slight on your character.

consider this a test for you - can you respect this young ladies boundaries and not make her A level results about your feelings, and your wants, needs and expectations?

Lots of things were different years ago.
There's generally a reason for why they changed.

My cousin didn’t share her a-level results a few years back. My aunt and uncle just said the same ‘happy with her results’. She went to Oxford uni so they just have been good.

Back when we were that age, my older cousin got her o-level results and we all celebrated because she was Very Clever. The Brainiest of All of Us etc etc Same when it was A-levels.
Then I got my results. They were similar but a grade higher in one or two subjects than Very Clever Cousin. It caused a rift because how dare I get better grades etc etc
I wish my parents hadn't told people what my results were. That rift has persisted to this day.

Thinking about the kids in my family (the ones from me and my 4 siblings)
We have everything from first class degrees to being incredibly thankful the kid got her English and Maths. Uni drop outs, school refusers, home ed, coasters, taking it all in their stride, independent learners, ones that need tutors and kicks up arse.

Some of the more sensitive issues are maybe discussed just among a couple of siblings, and some certainly not in front of the young people.

Dunno, I guess I come from a family who accepted and celebrated us for who we are and allowed us to find our own way (bumps and all) and we have carried that down to our own children.

I think in these situations the feelings of the young person involved have to be prioritised. It is a big deal for them at that stage and they clearly don’t want to share them for whatever reason. I don’t think your curiosity should trump that.

Because some people want to seek attention by bragging about other people's achievement?

"We're really pround, our niece got all A*s!"

^ So what, its her achievement, if she wants to tell you, she will.

My son did well in his GCSEs but we kept the actual grades private. We have one family member who was obsessed about knowing his grades and comparing him to their child therefore we decided not to divulge grades. We will do the same with A Levels.

The thing is, there is a double standard.

Sporting success can be celebrated publicly. So can success in something like music or dance. But being public about academic excellence makes people treat you differently, and often not in a good way.

Dd knows this, and doesn’t want to provoke it or have people think that she’s showing off. It’s illogical, but it’s our culture and I therefore think she’s right to keep her (hopefully good) results private.

Can you explain why knowing your niece's exact grades would make your family feel closer?

Because that honestly just sounds like a completely lame excuse for you to stick your beak into other people's business.

It's a bit of a no-win situation for your DN. If she got worse grades than your DS she could feel judged and if she got better grades she could be embarrassed to say.

Years ago grades were published by name/subject/grade in the local paper for all to see. I don't see why it's a secret.

The grades aren’t your sister’s to share. They’re your niece’s personal academic results. If your niece wants to broadcast them, fair play to her. If your niece wants to keep her personal results private, that is her prerogative.

Did you share your P60 with your family, or do they simply know that you’re employed? Do they know whether you got Outstanding, Exceeds, Achieved, Partly Achieved, or Unacceptable at your last Performance Management meeting with your boss? Is this your personal info to share at your discretion, or would you be happy if your family were passing your P60 and Performance Management grade around amongst themselves?

Ds1 was happy to share his grades, Ds2 was not.They both got into their first choice university so why does it matter? It often doesn't stay within the family as well, I know that sometimes I have had friends tell me what other children have got when I haven't asked nor want to know.

Two reasons.

They didn't get what they wanted.

They don't want the results compared with everyone else's. Maybe because they are too good and don't want to upset others. Or maybe because they were too bad.

TBH comparison is the thief of joy. Surely the only reason you want to know is because you want to compare them with either what they should have got or what everyone else you know got.

The important thing is they are happy with them, which at the end of the day is all that really matters.

Not being nosy at all!

It would make me feel like I was being held at arms length if this was my niece/nephew.

Is your niece going onto further education?

Quite baffled as to why you feel you need to be told her specific grades?

Cant really be anything other than nosiness, can it?

Good for them for keeping it private in a family like that.

I don't have children doing exams this year, but I have plenty of peers/children of peers who have just got their A level results, and a little while ago, degree results.

I actually can't recall ANY actual grades being broadcast on social media, only celebrations of young people being able to take their next steps.
Actually, I did see a few celebrating First class degrees, but no actual A level grades.

We've got 14 grandchildren on my side and some of them have done exams in the same year. It's usually already known which ones are academic and which are less so and there has NEVER been any judgement, because we adore them individually. I suppose us siblings might talk more personally about our kids when we get together but never in a competitive way.

I agree with every poster on the thread who keeps their child's information private, it really doesn't need to be shared and why does anybody need to know beyond 'they're happy, we're proud'? They don't. Plain, irritating nosiness.

As for baby's weight, I've never asked this in my life. Who cares? Mum and baby well, yes? Great! If people want to give more information they will. If they don't, that's your cue to move on.

Some people don't realise that the same exam papers submitted in different years can get a different grade. Not a different mark, but the grade barrier changes, so the grade will be different.

I got 4 As at A level before you could get an A star, I was from a very working class background/family no one had done A levels before let alone go on to Uni, the responses I got from family made me feel a bit like a freak, they thought I was Einstein and then you get the other side which I got from colleagues and a few friends which was oh yes but it's easy for you.

Neither is nice, so if DS wanted to keep his to himself I'd support that. I would never post his results on social media.