secretive about "good" A level grades to family.

Doing amazing for one student may be a C, for another an A star. Doesn't necessarily mean one worked harder than the other. But to the outside world (and MN) it seems anything below an A is not good (someone posted on WIWIKAU I believe that they were devastated and 'furious' that their child got AABB).
My DD doesn't say what she got unless someone specifically asks her.

It generally means they didn't do as well as they thought they would!

In my family it’s normal and even if upset with grades I’d share that privately with family. But I guess it’s their prerogative. It will likely be the young adult who doesn’t want to share their grades and that’s their choice.

My DD is due GCSE results this week, I’m sure I’d be sent a message if I didn’t let family know. My DD has worked her socks off and likely to do very well but if she didn’t I’d still let family know personally.

Even though she's your niece it's actually none of your business!

Possibly because they were not the grades she wanted and is embarrassed, but her parents are supporting her and encouraging her nonetheless.

I expect she thought she would get A's and B's, but has maybe got C's, D's, and E's. They are trying to keep her spirits up, perhaps?

No don’t take an ‘I’m so open, you’re all weird and secretive’ position! You asked, so listen to the varied replies. Both my kids suffered illness/ mental health issues. So while bright, they didn’t get the highest results. I didn’t care but they requested privacy. And you have to respect that. So if someone says, very pleased with results thanks, and doesn’t give further details- respect it.

It's entirely up to them what information they share - no need to let it bother you.

Same thing happened with our niece, no one has any idea what she got but apparently she did well but didn't get into Uni?!? My SIL actually mentioned the other day that she still has no idea what she got.

You are confusing secretive and private. Your DN wants to keep her grades private, so you should respect that.

You say that she's not prepared to say what grades she got, but did you ask her personally?

There's no real need for you to know exactly what she got if you are going to be proud and supportive of her regardless.

Funnily enough I never share them. I find it a bit braggy, and an invasion of privacy. I remember finding out all my cousins' grades amd judging how clever they were on that basis. It led to a lot of extra pressure as well.

With my kids they did well forvthemselves but I didn't want to share.

This, a hundred times. I’m really emotionally invested in this subject as I bombed an A level after being a straight A student for the whole of school. People who don’t share could be processing really upsetting news.

It's not up to me to share my DCs results, it is up to them if they want to do so. I do not think exam results should be a yardstick for others to make judgments about them.

I don’t think it’s weird when not immediate family, none of my DN’s have told me what they got, I never asked and never would. If they tell me great, if not it’s no problem. As long as they’re happy.

some find it incredibly stressful experience or may not be entirely happy with the results or want their peers to know.

You are being nosey. You don’t need to know for any reason whatsoever. We didn’t share my daughter’s grades, don’t have any friends who shared their child’s. My daughter and 4 friends are all away to university this year. Why does anyone need to know except them and their parents?

Not necessarily. My mother kept schtum about my A level equivalent results because I did ‘too well’, and she was afraid the neighbours would think she was boasting and ‘getting above myself’. (Note that in 18 years, my mother hadn’t worked out that I wasn’t actually her…)

Unfortunately for her, those results won me a big international scholarship and my school (more used to topping the ‘record numbers of fifth years pregnant’ scoreboard) got carried away and told the local press on a slow news day.

And my mother, characteristically, was mortified, because now, in her view, we were definitely ‘getting above ourselves’, and I was in the paper ‘showing off’.

Yes, absolutely. We were clearly all supposed to say ‘Boo hiss! Pesky sister and niece holding out on you! How strange and secretive they are! Can’t imagine why they wouldn’t want to share every detail of their lives with you!”

I think when people don't do as well as they'd hoped they are reluctant to share. I know I was upset about my GCSE results and my degree one so I didn't share those as much as my A-level and post-grad ones.

DD asked me not to share hers too. She got into her first choice Uni, to do the course she'd wanted to do for years and that was all that mattered.
My Mum tried to dig for details, but she's got form for being a first class comparer-another DC in the wider family did their A-levels the same year and DD didn't want to be caught up in it.
I respected her choice not to share.

No you are not entitled to know her results if she doesn’t want to share them!
All through primary and secondary school I knew another parent who wanted to know every test result my daughter got , I would never tell her cos she only wanted to know if my daughters results were better than her daughters, her child was very bright and she always wanted to show off . It still infuriated me now! Ironically my daughter was the one who ended up going to uni not hers .

My daughter and her friends never told eachother what they got for their GCSEs last summer and they never have. My daughter says it doesn't matter to her as she's friends with them for who they are. I find it completely weird as I was nosey and wanted to know. My daughter did extremely well and we were so overjoyed.

Um. No.

Some schools post results of top students on their websites, but even there, the last few years has seen a trend away from calling out a few students in favour of making a more general pronouncement about how the school faired overall.

(not the point, but local papers don't necessarily even really exist any more)

We do usually share this stuff within our extended family but it wouldn't bother me in the slightest if anyone decided to keep their results private. Why on earth would family need to know this stuff?

I didn’t even share with my DD what her 11+ score was. It was enough that she passed and was going to her preferred grammar school, The next day at school it was all showmanship with the children trying to outdo each other. She couldn’t participate as she did not know. There was only one other child who did not know her score.So in my roundabout way. It’s none of your business. Your niece got enough to do what she wants to do next. That’s all that needs to be celebrated.

Aren't the results for each student still published in the local paper?

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