secretive about "good" A level grades to family.

Surely that's up to the niece? It is her personal information. She might not want it shared.

I don't understand the "need to know" about stuff that doesn't matter to anyone other than the person concerned.

It never crossed my mind to ask my DSis what grades my DN got. I was told that she passed but didn't get what she needed for her Uni course. I got her a present and card to say well done.

My older DN, I was told she had passed and got accepted for her first choice at Uni. Again it never crossed my mind to ask what her grades were. I got her a card and a present to say well done.

I don't see it as any of my business and if they had wanted to share that info then they would have.

I'm still proud of both of them!

My son didn’t want people to know. I just said ‘he got the results he needed’, when I was pushed. Yes he did pass, but wanted to keep the results secret.

I would problem keep grades to myself if family members are judgmental or competitive

You can be pleased for them that they got what they needed without specific grades, can't you?

The grades are really just a means by which they get into university; never again in life will someone split hairs between who got an A* and who got and A in Geography.

So if they're saying they got what they needed and are delighted with their uni option, YAY! Have a pint on me, kid, and congratulations! How the grades came out is pretty much irrelevant.

If friends or family are likely to have grades noticeably higher or lower, there's lots of potential for hurt feelings so no need to mention them.

It does seem a bit odd to post on social media about the celebration but then be secretive about the grades. I do understand not telling all and sundry the results but why invite questions with a post?

We only told grandparents and aunts and uncles.

No one else needs to know the details - she did v well and didn't want to boast.

Think it's fairly common to just say you're proud and they're doing X next - the results are pretty irrelevant once they've been achieved anyway?

Had one friend whose dd is off to Oxford whose text on results day was "Mixed feelings - Three A* and one A but the A was in her favourite subject 😞) - which IMO is a really bad look

We share results within the family because we are a family and everyone is ecstatically happy or suitably supportive depending on the results.
When I was younger a member of my close family totally bombed some important exams and they needed the support of those closest to them to get them through a difficult time. Years later they are fine, happy & have found a different but still successful path.
As a family it wasn't kept a secret or seen as anything to be ashamed of and, looking back, I think that was important.

Probably as others have said they didn't get what they wanted but good enough to pass/ next steps.

I've never asked/mostly just been told beyond are they happy/a little disappointed/upset, and/or the impact on uni offers/their next steps and offered congratulations/commiserations.

If they offer the details of the grades fair enough but otherwise they don't really matter as much as how the yp is feeling.

Why do you want to know though?

Dd1 gets her results on Thursday and I know I’ll have to share with my parents but don’t want to. Dm was so negative when I got 9As and 2Bs at gcse “shame she didn’t get and A*s and the Bs let her down!” (What she said about my results). The Bs were English lit (got an A for English language) and bloody textiles that I didn’t care about at all but government forced a technology for my year.

I didn’t share my kids results with anyone as I felt like it was their business if they wanted people to know or not.

I never told anyone apart from my parents my grades. I did my exams the same year some of my cousins did and they did so much better than me (even though I tried my best) and I just didn't want anyone else to know.

I found out on A level results day that my niece had heard from the university she wants to go to that her offer is now unconditional and she's got in. That was the information my DB shared with me - didn't occur to me to ask what grades she got - presumably if they'd wanted to share, they would have done. Just delighted for her that she's moving on to what she wants to do at the place that she wants to do it!

Well yes. Family have asked this too. We never share because we have a family of full range of abilities, and it does cause a degree of angst in comparisons between families. It's really uncomfortable actually if you have a high achieving, high earner, who is then compared with another who is not. Best try to keep it under the radar.

Of course it comes out eventually when individuals get into certain units, or land good jobs, buy houses or whatever, but it still feels bad to share overt success, very British actually!

You say you won’t be judgemental, but inevitably people will compare, not least the youngsters themselves. Mine get on very well with their cousins but there’s always a little bit of underlying competitiveness.

You be proud of the work they put in and that they tried hard? That should probably count for more than the grade itself in terms of how proud people who know them feel anyway.

I don't think anyone cared what grades I got except my mum, and maybe me to an extent.
I didn't even care what my mates got.
As long as she's satisfied and hopefully going on to something she's looking forward to, that's all that matters.

We've never shared specific grades. I have twins and one is very academic and the other isn't.

Knowing that they both worked damn hard, got the grades they wanted and got into the uni course they wanted was plenty for people to know.

DD got what she needed for her course but the results weren’t quite what she wanted and she is a bit disappointed. Nobody needs to know the details as it’s none of their business

The fact that you are posting about makes me wonder if you are a bit too inquisitive about it. Why do you need to know the Exact grades?

We tried to keep ours very quite in real life because we knew they wouldn't be believed in many quarters which would take the shine off, and would cause grief because there was resentment we'd abandoned the school system and gone it alone and people like us shouldn't then do well.

We weren't wrong and I'm glad my kids have been able to have a period of quiet satisfaction at the results of their hard work before eventually having to deal with others opinions. They did the work, so their choice, but we also don't do facebook pics of celebrating etc.