secretive about "good" A level grades to family.

The thing is you will judge though.

I didn't share DSs GCSE results because they were all a grade lower than expected. He was able to move on to the next stage that he wanted to do, but it was a close call! I didn't share DDs GCSE results, even though they were pretty much the same as DSs - they were brilliant for her. I just sent people a photo of her holding her results and grinning from ear to ear and saying what she was going to do next.

If you really want to know ask your DN herself when you see her.

I don't care who knows what grades my DC got

but it’s not your information to share. Did you ask your children if they were happy for you to share the news with everyone?

We haven’t shared grades.

I said: DS1 got the grades to go to X university, which was his first choice, and we are all happy and relieved.

I don’t want MIL saying he didn’t do as well as favoured grandchildren 1 and 2! No idea what grads they got but both are at universities that require all As.

But how will knowing your niece's exact grades make the family closer?

Also, it's up to your DC to decide whether they want to share their grades and if it's a big deal for them or not. Nothing to do with you.

DS2 screenshot his results and posted it to his Reddit page. So he told everyone he wants to know. I've not told family. DB's DC are much younger so A level results day means nothing to him. I would have told my parents but they are dead.

I have posted on here though because I am proud of him but don't want to brag IRL.

It's a shame if young people think sharing their grades with their aunties etc would be regarded as oneupmanship.

I think it will be to avoid comparisons too. My niece got a good set of gcses and then my son got a slightly better set 2 years later. I was really shocked that grandparents and other aunts/uncles pointed this out! They are individuals not in competition.

I have another child who won't doing gcses at all and id be gutted to think everyone was gossiping about his qualifications not being as good as others.

I was not surprised niece didn't announce her a level results and I certain will suggest my son doesn't either.

The fact you need to know probably answers the question of why they don't want to share.

Why do you "have to"?

All I care about is if the young person is happy with their results and if it means they can move onto what they wanted to. The actual grades don’t matter and I don’t see why anyone else needs to know other than out of noseyness

it is weird but you know what- these things get built up SO much. I’d just let it go.

But why do you need to know the specifics @wheresmymillionaire?

If your DN is happy then that's the main thing surely? Sounds to me like she asked her Mum not to share the marks with people and that's her prerogative really isn't it?

With DD we decided it was her choice whether to share her grades for both GCSE and A levels. If asked I said she had done well (she had) but the actual grades were hers to share - or not.
I also told her that she had the absolute right to not tell anyone her grades if that was her choice. MIL was very miffed when I refused to tell her DDs grades and DD wouldn't either, its nobodys business

Hmm yeh I agree with most - this is not something I would personally probe to find out.

I told close (teacher) colleagues what one of my DC gained as they did less well than hoped and I knew pals would be supportive and positive. Also they knew my DC well. My other A level DC got what they needed to go where they wanted so IIRC I just shared that.

Sometimes ppl do less well than hoped and don't want to shout about that - or the converse. I recall asking a former colleague whose DD I knew pretty well how she had done - he said "well mostly she is saying 'I did very well thanks' but she says it's OK to tell you [a former teacher] that she actually gained all 9s."

I would leave it OP. Be happy for her.

The worst thing about not doing as well as you wanted (exams, job interviews etc) is how crap it feels to tell people. I don't blame them for not wanting to do that.

We pick up GCSEs on Thursday. I won’t be sharing results for several reasons.

1. ds is dyslexic and while we’re expecting some passes he’s not a grade 9 student.
2. other people’s children will have done differently and I want ds’s achievements to stand alone and not be compared to others.

my social media will be awash 🙄

She got good enough grades to get into her chosen university - that's definitely something to be proud of. No further information needed.

This is weird, my instant reaction for family would be to say, "That's great she did well, what did she get?". You're maybe not really a close family?

My siblings and I don’t share exact grades, just that (thankfully) it’s what they wanted/needed. Frankly, any more detail is unnecessary.

I think it’s up to the person who achieved the grades. If she is happy with her grades and celebrating her achievement this is fabulous. What the actual ‘letters’ were is irrelevant.

My neices didn't share because grandparents did a lot of comparing with other grandchildren and my sister and neices had had enough of that over the years. In fact my neices did very well and were able to go to their chosen (very good) university and that's all that mattered.

It is often family dynamics that stop people sharing, why would young people want to be judged and discussed ?

Also as soon as you get to uni, A level result are totally irrelevant and no one cares, they are simply a means to the end of further education.

Blimey, it wouldn't occur to me to dig for that info- why do I need to know this? its up to them if they want to divulge that info isnt it?

My son is doing very well at school and is likely to get As and is the type to ask me not to share as it looks braggy (and a couple of his friends arent doing so well) so I wont. It's entirely his choice if he wants to share his results or not and I couldnt give a rats ass if someone else cant handle that- thats their issue not mine.

I think only competitive parents like to announce their DC's grades.