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Original poster

ML wants to spend anniversary with us

63 replies

MummaEllie · 19/08/2024 10:24

So it's our second wedding anniversary coming up shortly and my ML asked my husband as she was leaving if he wanted to come to her house for our anniversary for dinner.
Last year we was on holiday so spent it alone. Do people spent their anniversary celebrating with others or should it be a day solely for us to share our love together and celebrate our wedding anniversary?

So what I'm asking really is.. is this normal behaviour and I'm being unreasonable or is this something I need to bring up.

My ML does like to over step alot and I have had to bring things up already to her. She used to buy mothers day presents for me and give them to my son to give me when his dad had already done this and also buy her son father's day presents and give them to to my husband the day before fathers day.

Advice would be great!

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 19/08/2024 10:37

I think it’s something you celebrate just the two of you, if at all.

Idk I feel like only the first one and then any round numbers are really worth celebrating but that might must be me.

Floralnomad · 19/08/2024 10:37

We don’t celebrate anniversaries here but if we did we wouldn’t be doing it with MIL.

redskydarknight · 19/08/2024 10:35

It's not overstepping to invite you and your husband round for dinner!

If you don't want to go, then tell her you already have plans.

It's only overstepping if she would kick up a huge fuss and throw tantrums if you didn't want to come (or if you felt obliged to go even if you didn't want to, because you knew what her reaction would be).

I think it's nice that she bought extra Mothers'/Fathers' Day presents for your son to give you - is there really an issue with getting extra gifts?

Thunderboltandlightningveryveryfrightening · 19/08/2024 10:35

Thanks but no thanks.
Urgh how odd.

Butteredtoast55 · 19/08/2024 10:34

It sounds like she is needing to feel included which isn't 'weird' but is definitely overstepping the mark in this instance.
Your DH needs to thank her for the kind offer but make it clear you both want it to be just the two of you for an anniversary meal.

DelphiniumBlue · 19/08/2024 10:32

I don't see why any of these things are a problem - she can ask, you can either accept or decline, it's not a big deal. She clearly wants to make a fuss of you guys, her buying presents for you is surely a good thing? She wanted to make sure you got something for Mother's Day. It sounds like maybe she has had events go by unmarked herself, and wants you and DH to feel celebrated.

SaltAndVinegar2 · 19/08/2024 10:29

I think either would be normal...but you should decide with your husband.its only a problem if one of you doesn't want to.
It's not a problem for MIL to invite you. The issue is your husband saying yes without consulting you.

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 19/08/2024 10:28

I think it should be a special meal for the two of you. You can go to hers any other time.

PermanentlyFullLaundryBasket · 19/08/2024 10:27

Depends on your and her relationship. For some this would be ok, for others not. It isn't what you want so politely decline.

TruthorDie · 19/08/2024 10:26

Weird and rude. It’s a no from me

NippyChippy14 · 19/08/2024 10:26

What did your DH say? I know mine would say he’d need to speak to me, and more likely, “thanks but we’ve already made plans”.

Redshoeblueshoe · 19/08/2024 10:26

That is weird.

CoffeeWithMyOxygen · 19/08/2024 10:25

No that’s incredibly weird. Your DH needs to shut that down at once.

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