To not lend tent when it’s our only means of holiday?

It's practically impossible to get mould off a tent and it keep it's waterproof abilities. We tried with fabsil as experienced campers. It did not work. You need a new tent. Your friend needs to pay.

I’d just say
”sorry, our tent is special to us and we have to take great care of it. We noticed mould when we got it out this year at the campsite and we can’t afford to lose this tent”. You are welcome to add “after you borrowed it we didn’t check it”
I don’t lend mine out for the same reason, we invested too much and people don’t tend to look after things well.

Let them buy their own tent and camping equipment.This is beyond cheeky

No, it's covered in mould from last time it was used (yes you) so needs a deep clean when we have time to do it. Xx

I never lend anything our due to so many bad experiences of things being returned broken or not returned at all meaning I have had to ask for them back and then finding pieces missing etc. I just say now 'I don't mean you personally but I have a policy of not lending out my things due to so many bad experiences in the past.' People who actually respect the property of others now sadly seem to be few and far between as you have found out. People will always take if there are those willing to give.

Never lend camping stuff, no one looks after it like you would yourself. Just no, never, even my air bed came back covered in dog hair and punctured. No never

Perfect!

No. Borrowers never look after tents like their owners. If they had a garage they should have left it out to dry.

Also inside could be damp from the breathing condensation.

They ruined your gear? Of course the answer is no!

@Picklepepp have you let her know about the mould?

One way you could put it is that as they enjoyed camping they must want to get their own tent, but they must be careful to dry it fully before packing it back up as your tent hadn't been dried properly and got mouldy

Just send a message, "Were your ears burning? We were just talking about you because we've checked the tent and it's covered in mould from when you last had it. Sorry, we're not lending it to anyone again."

@Picklepepp I’ve changed my mind. Send her another text offering for her to buy yours so you can get a new old. Mould free!

This. Although I always put ours our to dry once home before packing it away again. OP should have checked before packing it away for the year.

I would be honest and say it was mouldy and that caused you concerns for lending it out again.

This is what I would say. And I would say it even if she doesn't eventually reply, because she might not be aware just how carefully dried it should be. She might have thought that it was good enough and genuinely hasn't realised that even a bit of dampness will be a problem.

I also think that she's being a bit cheeky asking to borrow it a second time. If they've decided they like camping enough to go again, then it's time to buy their own equipment rather than borrowing someone else's. I wouldn't actually say that though, only the "no, and FYI..." part.

I don't lend out our camping gear to anyone. Maybe the folding table/windbreaks, something that's easily replaced, but my tent and set up is an extension of my home (in my head) and it's precious kit!

So they want to have camping holidays without having to fork out the money to even buy a tent? That's ridiculously cheeky. It should be your friend feeling embarrassed not you op.

Your friend is being a complete and utter CF @Picklepepp!

It was one thing to ask to borrow your tent once and bring it back to you in less than pristine condition but to then ask to borrow it a second time? Surely when she decided that they enjoyed camping, they would invest in their own tent and all the stuff they need for a camping holiday? This is what non CFs do! Has she already booked her camping holiday on the assumption that good old pickles will provide their accommodation again? It's so so cheeky!

You don't have to fall out with her but just say that the tent is now mouldy so you won't be lending it out to anyone going forward as you need it for your own family holidays.

Borrowing once as a one off ok.

Borrowing every year they should probably buy their own.

I was going to say no unless your happy to set it up check it and dry it on return or it will be moldy....but it's too late....
I'd just say sorry we got it out to check before going away ourselves and it's full of mold.

Check your guide ropes they typically snap after mold.

As a fellow people are pleaser, I would feel awkward telling them that it was mouldy, however I would happily make excuses as to why you can't lend it out again.

Can't tell you the number of people that used to ask to borrow our motorhome, including people we don't know THAT well.. i said no to one neighbour and he said do you need to ask your husband? So that sealed the deal even more lol!

Thankyou @Picklepepp!
As I was writing it I thought, if only I could go back in time and use my own advice on certain people! I think it's a learning curve. But what's nice is that you've had a lot of affirmation on this thread, which gives one a lot of confidence that you are acting fairly in saying no.

I was also thinking that perhaps your friends didn't do it on purpose, but just didn't know how thorough you have to be...or they could be CFs who rolled their eyes at the instructions for after care and thought it was "good enough," but still means they don't know how to look after a tent though and don't deserve to borrow it again.

The good thing is that you now have a prepared line to trot out for any other requests, without having to think about it. "I'm sorry, we never lend our camping equipment anymore, it's too expensive to replace."

It's easy to see how you got into this situation though, often a request is sprung upon us and its hard to think of a good enough reason on the spot that the asker can't just brush aside. Someone once said to me their rule was, "I say no straight away or ask for time to think whether it's a good idea or not." I was quite taken with that.

Definitely tell them

Say, we got it out to check all ok and it is covered in mould from being packed away damp

CF should buy you a new one

We did this too. Things went missing, broken, no one ever told us up front.
In our most recent van the toilet seat is broken and a cupboard door hanging off. Again- no one has mentioned it- and these are our employees and friends staying in it.