Page 8 | AIBU to want to wear a mask again in my classroom

EmsHugs · 2024-08-19T07:05:51+00:00

Would like to know AIBU to not give in to this parent demand. I am in my second trimester but still quite small so not told many people as we still have some tests etc and i am listed as high risk. It is my first pregnancy after years of infertility, failed IVf and and I am being super cautious. Before the summer when I was in the early weeks of my pregnancy I caught covid and was very ill so since returning to school I have chosen to wear a mask, particularly as I have still to get several of the vaccinations like flu, whooping cough etc. A parent of a child has put in a complaint and said I should remove the mask because it makes their child anxious but I have said while I am sorry their child does not like the mask, due to current health issues I will not. They have now made accusations that I am a poor teacher and not respectful of their child's issues, however as a high school teacher I have over 500 pupils in and out my classroom every week and want to every precaution I can to protect my baby. The school are aware why I am doing this and said they will explain to the parent but several of my colleagues, friends and family members are still not awaresi am pregnant so I do not particularly feel I should have to divulge this to a parent and that stating my health concerns should be sufficient. I have even sat with the child and explained that I wear the mask to protect myself and that I need to wear it for now but that may change later but I appreciate them being understanding. The pupil seemed to be okay but the parent continues to be adament and I believe it is because I have immediately not given into them and stood my ground. The stress of this parent sending complaints everytime this child is in my class 4 times a week, is getting me very stressed so I would like to know: AIBU to not divulge at the moment the reason I need to wear a mask AINBU the parent needs to realise they cannot get everything they want.

kiuy · 19/08/2024 13:20

@doce you don't have to be an immunologist to have common sense and the ability to read:

After a person acquires a virus, the immune system retains a memory of it.

www.healthline.com/health-news/how-long-does-immunity-last-after-covid-19-what-we-know#Hownatural-immunity-works-after-COVID-19-develops

TransformerZ · 19/08/2024 13:19

Work from behind a screen instead.
If the school is supportive the parent can get lost.
Mask isn't that effective.
Insist on a screen like they have in shops.
Your happiness and health is more important than the random parent and kid.
If schools are that desperate for teachers as the media makes out then hopefully you won't have any issues having your demands met - make them demands. Don't cower for others convenience.

Some people even let their kids with nits go to school - disgusting.

doce · 19/08/2024 13:16

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 19/08/2024 13:09

Op, I'm one of those who is anti-mask etc and all that, but given all your updates I agree with pp that you would be better going off sick u til you have at least had the vaccines that you want.
I genuinely don't think a mask is going to protect you so if you are wanting to be extra careful about not catching it you are best just not going in at all. Like you said, this pregnancy is far more important to you.
The stress isn't good for you.
Please be reassured though that I went through some extremely stressful situations in both my pregnancies and they both came out fine.
I think with you being high risk you'd be better at home taking it easy,eating well and doing gentle exercise. If you can financially afford to take the time off, I would do it xx

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Loving the way you feel you have some knowledge of this person’s medical condition and the impact of underlying conditions, coupled with immunosuppression.

Anonymous keyboard warriors with no knowledge telling others what to do are the scourge of society.

FrippEnos · 19/08/2024 13:13

A reasonable adjustment might be to request a room change to a window that opens

Or wearing a mask

- but nah, easier to screw over another year of kids' education.

This point has become worthless and is nothing more that a stick to try to emotionally blackmail and guilt trip teachers in to becoming the compliant little drones that some parents want

doce · 19/08/2024 13:13

kiuy · 19/08/2024 13:01

I think it would be better to get signed off by your doctor and have an extended maternity leave. Stress is more of a risk in pregnancy than Covid. And if you've already had Covid before, you'll have some
natural immunity.

Really? You’re an immunologist with detailed knowledge of the immunocompromised?

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 19/08/2024 13:09

EmsHugs · 19/08/2024 13:02

I'm glad I'm not teaching your child either.
You haven't bothered to read the posts nor the updates and replies.
I was hospitalised due to covid in my early pregnancy. Due to previous health conditions and as a result of how I reacted to covid I am a high risk pregnancy. My employer and my GP both suggested the face mask to ease anxiety and reduce my chances of being infected as I work with over 500 kids a week. There are no windows that open in my classroom as we have an air circulation system, a system that is already been rated poorly by my local authority Risk team. I have yet to get my vaccinations for RSV, whooping Cough, covid and Flu There was a whooping cough outbreak in my school prior to the summer, two cases have already been highlighted in the school since last week. I therefore need to wear a mask. My partner's father and my sister in law are both immuno compromised.
I am not clinhing to covid. I hate taught for two years without a masks and through three rounds of IVf. I am ofcoursed stressed but I am not mental simply taking sensible precautions until I am properly vaccinated and my unborn baby is at a lesser risk of being harmed by these potentially life altering viruses

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Op, I'm one of those who is anti-mask etc and all that, but given all your updates I agree with pp that you would be better going off sick u til you have at least had the vaccines that you want.
I genuinely don't think a mask is going to protect you so if you are wanting to be extra careful about not catching it you are best just not going in at all. Like you said, this pregnancy is far more important to you.
The stress isn't good for you.
Please be reassured though that I went through some extremely stressful situations in both my pregnancies and they both came out fine.
I think with you being high risk you'd be better at home taking it easy,eating well and doing gentle exercise. If you can financially afford to take the time off, I would do it xx

Original poster

EmsHugs · 19/08/2024 13:08

This reply has been deleted

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I have not been drip feeding. I am unable to ammend my original post so updating and replying as an issue arises. I am not in work today because I do not work on Mondays. Hardly abusive but standing up fir myself when people say I half arse my job or they are glad I don't teach their child.

OP posts:

FrippEnos · 19/08/2024 13:06

Who’s mental state do you think is the most important in this scenario?

That this is being asked shows why so many teachers are leaving the profession.

Original poster

EmsHugs · 19/08/2024 13:02

ChristmasPostman · 19/08/2024 12:46

YABU because you don’t “need” to wear a mask as you state. It’s a personal preference. And as you’ve already had Covid once during this pregnancy and the baby was unaffected why on earth do you now think you “need” to wear a mask? It’s your preference to wear one and it’s the pupils and parents preference to see your face and not to have their anxieties sparked by your clinging to this Covid relic. Who’s mental state do you think is the most important in this scenario? Your worries are understandable given your history but I don’t think you should be letting them control you. You should be modelling sensible evidence led practice as a teacher surely? I wouldn’t be thrilled with you teaching my child.

I'm glad I'm not teaching your child either.
You haven't bothered to read the posts nor the updates and replies.
I was hospitalised due to covid in my early pregnancy. Due to previous health conditions and as a result of how I reacted to covid I am a high risk pregnancy. My employer and my GP both suggested the face mask to ease anxiety and reduce my chances of being infected as I work with over 500 kids a week. There are no windows that open in my classroom as we have an air circulation system, a system that is already been rated poorly by my local authority Risk team. I have yet to get my vaccinations for RSV, whooping Cough, covid and Flu There was a whooping cough outbreak in my school prior to the summer, two cases have already been highlighted in the school since last week. I therefore need to wear a mask. My partner's father and my sister in law are both immuno compromised.
I am not clinhing to covid. I hate taught for two years without a masks and through three rounds of IVf. I am ofcoursed stressed but I am not mental simply taking sensible precautions until I am properly vaccinated and my unborn baby is at a lesser risk of being harmed by these potentially life altering viruses

OP posts:

kiuy · 19/08/2024 13:01

I think it would be better to get signed off by your doctor and have an extended maternity leave. Stress is more of a risk in pregnancy than Covid. And if you've already had Covid before, you'll have some
natural immunity.

TorturedParentsDepartment · 19/08/2024 12:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

doce · 19/08/2024 12:56

ChristmasPostman · 19/08/2024 12:46

YABU because you don’t “need” to wear a mask as you state. It’s a personal preference. And as you’ve already had Covid once during this pregnancy and the baby was unaffected why on earth do you now think you “need” to wear a mask? It’s your preference to wear one and it’s the pupils and parents preference to see your face and not to have their anxieties sparked by your clinging to this Covid relic. Who’s mental state do you think is the most important in this scenario? Your worries are understandable given your history but I don’t think you should be letting them control you. You should be modelling sensible evidence led practice as a teacher surely? I wouldn’t be thrilled with you teaching my child.

That is, I'm afraid, utter nonsense. For some people with compromised immune systems or underlying conditions masking is essential, and advised by their consultants.

Your arrogance in thinking you know better than doctors is stunning.

ArabellaScott · 19/08/2024 12:54

If the risk to both physical and mental health is as serious as stated then I think school should find a different role for OP for the next couple of months. Stress is also not good for a pregnancy.

Take care, OP, wishing you a smooth and comfortable rest of your pregnancy.

doce · 19/08/2024 12:53

ChristmasPostman · 19/08/2024 12:48

You seem to be unaware that OP has actually already caught Covid and miraculously survived. Her current immunity status should therefore be pretty good.

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What knowledge do you have of this teacher's immune status? Are you an immunologist? Are you aware of the different mutations of Covid?

Clearly this is a subject of which you have little or no knowledge - take it from me, those who have compromised immune systems or underlying conditions are following very specific medical advice from their consultants to mask. Their lives depend on it.

noblegiraffe · 19/08/2024 12:51

Who’s mental state do you think is the most important in this scenario?

The teacher's. The school needs her in that classroom more than they need to placate a vexatious parent.

ChristmasPostman · 19/08/2024 12:48

doce · 19/08/2024 12:34

Clearly you know absolutely nothing about health matters. First, for a small proportion of the population, including this teacher, catching COVID can be fatal because of the ineffectiveness of vaccines.Second, the right type of mask DOES provide close on 100% protection for the wearer.

You seem to have an incredibly selfish attitude towards others trying to protect themselves from serious illness or death.

Show quote history

You seem to be unaware that OP has actually already caught Covid and miraculously survived. Her current immunity status should therefore be pretty good.

ChristmasPostman · 19/08/2024 12:46

YABU because you don’t “need” to wear a mask as you state. It’s a personal preference. And as you’ve already had Covid once during this pregnancy and the baby was unaffected why on earth do you now think you “need” to wear a mask? It’s your preference to wear one and it’s the pupils and parents preference to see your face and not to have their anxieties sparked by your clinging to this Covid relic. Who’s mental state do you think is the most important in this scenario? Your worries are understandable given your history but I don’t think you should be letting them control you. You should be modelling sensible evidence led practice as a teacher surely? I wouldn’t be thrilled with you teaching my child.

doce · 19/08/2024 12:40

JLou08 · 19/08/2024 08:26

Wearing a mask isn't going to stop you catching anything. Covering your face is not productive for teaching. If you insist on wearing a mask despite it not giving you any protection and getting in the way of you teaching maybe a transparent mask would be an option.

Best check your facts, which are entirely wrong. The right type of mask (FFP3) will provide close on 100% protection for the wearer.

I can't believe the selfishness, arrogance and ignorance on this thread - and the callousness towards a poor teacher trying to protect her life. In some people, Covid can actually be a death sentence because of underlying conditions and immunosuppression causing vaccines not to work.

doce · 19/08/2024 12:34

CosmicDaisyChain · 19/08/2024 08:14

Sorry. I think you may have health anxiety or something because this really isn't going to protect you anyway. We know that masks don't stop us catching anything. You'll still catch things anyway.

Clearly you know absolutely nothing about health matters. First, for a small proportion of the population, including this teacher, catching COVID can be fatal because of the ineffectiveness of vaccines.Second, the right type of mask DOES provide close on 100% protection for the wearer.

You seem to have an incredibly selfish attitude towards others trying to protect themselves from serious illness or death.

biscuitcat · 19/08/2024 12:22

The whole situation sounds so stressful for you - ultimately, school have agreed that it's a reasonable adjustment so the parent has no leg to stand on and no right whatsoever to your private medical information.

Are the complaints coming direct to you, or via SLT? I think you'd be totally within your rights to ask SLT to stop passing any complaints on to you, even just to inform you they're happening (as I imagine just knowing it's still ongoing is stressful) if they're coming to SLT, or asking that the parent is blocked from emailing you if they're coming directly. You shouldn't be subject to harassment at work, which is what this sounds like at this stage.

dizzydizzydizzy · 19/08/2024 12:18

OP, I'm very surprised at rhe lack of support you've getting here. I think you are being entirely reasonable. I hope your school
Is being supportive.

CinnamonSwirlGirl · 19/08/2024 12:10

Hope that didn’t come across badly. I’m always up for discussing solutions with people! There’s a teacher at my kids’ school who wore one for ages, and I felt so bad because she was clearly wanting to do the right thing by people.

CloudPop · 19/08/2024 12:07

Fair point.

CinnamonSwirlGirl · 19/08/2024 12:05

@CloudPop The face shields can sometimes be worse than using nothing. Same with when the shops / workplaces added those plastic shields around workers. This is because they reduce ventilation (effectively trapping the dodgy air in one place, rather than letting it “blow away” / diffuse, if that makes sense?). Whereas proper masks (FFP2 etc) never let the dodgy stuff in in the first place!

ArabellaScott · 19/08/2024 11:46

If you're a teacher you will be exposed to viruses and I'm not sure a mask will offer enough protection. Of course immuno compromised should be allowed to wear one but is it actually enough? Could the school find a role that lessened risks for the OP?