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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to want to wear a mask again in my classroom

487 replies

EmsHugs · 19/08/2024 08:05

Would like to know AIBU to not give in to this parent demand.

I am in my second trimester but still quite small so not told many people as we still have some tests etc and i am listed as high risk. It is my first pregnancy after years of infertility, failed IVf and and I am being super cautious. Before the summer when I was in the early weeks of my pregnancy I caught covid and was very ill so since returning to school I have chosen to wear a mask, particularly as I have still to get several of the vaccinations like flu, whooping cough etc.

A parent of a child has put in a complaint and said I should remove the mask because it makes their child anxious but I have said while I am sorry their child does not like the mask, due to current health issues I will not. They have now made accusations that I am a poor teacher and not respectful of their child's issues, however as a high school teacher I have over 500 pupils in and out my classroom every week and want to every precaution I can to protect my baby. The school are aware why I am doing this and said they will explain to the parent but several of my colleagues, friends and family members are still not awaresi am pregnant so I do not particularly feel I should have to divulge this to a parent and that stating my health concerns should be sufficient. I have even sat with the child and explained that I wear the mask to protect myself and that I need to wear it for now but that may change later but I appreciate them being understanding. The pupil seemed to be okay but the parent continues to be adament and I believe it is because I have immediately not given into them and stood my ground.

The stress of this parent sending complaints everytime this child is in my class 4 times a week, is getting me very stressed so I would like to know:

AIBU to not divulge at the moment the reason I need to wear a mask
AINBU the parent needs to realise they cannot get everything they want.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Mumoftwo1316 · 20/08/2024 08:17

A clue is the words "study [singular] suggests..."

Mumoftwo1316 · 20/08/2024 08:15

mumatlast14 · 20/08/2024 07:46

Unfortunately it is mainstream science covid is damaging our immune system.
www.infectioncontroltoday.com/view/covid-19-study-suggests-long-term-damage-immune-system

One or two tentative studies, reported in a magazine, do not constitute mainstream scientific consensus.

I could post reams of random magazine articles that say "a study suggests" broccoli causes cancer or swimming cures ADHD or something, because one flawed study initially found a spurious correlation.

DragonGypsyDoris · 20/08/2024 08:06

If you think a mask will protect you (it won't) then you also need to wear close-fitting goggles and plug your ears - because they are other routes for viruses to enter the body. Obviously you can't wear all that, so you either need to calm down or go off sick with anxiety ... because you will not be an effective communicator with a face nappy on.

mumatlast14 · 20/08/2024 07:46

Mumoftwo1316 · 19/08/2024 15:39

If the doctor/midwife has told op she must wear it, then hopefully that sets her mind at rest.

This particular comment of mine was in response to a pp who says people in general are getting summer colds more because covid has weakened our immune system.

That's not mainstream science and therefore is, as far as current understanding goes, misinformation. And in my opinion medical misinformation is harmful.

Specifically I am convinced that isolating from common illnesses is harmful to your newborn.

You can't isolate your newborn (unless you're going to have an unattended home birth and no midwife or family visits, or something) and so the newborn baby will be exposed to colds and other common viruses, so it's better to confer as much immunity to common colds to the unborn baby as possible.

I say this as someone whose newborn had a scary few weeks due to a common cold that his little body couldn't handle well.

Unfortunately it is mainstream science covid is damaging our immune system.
www.infectioncontroltoday.com/view/covid-19-study-suggests-long-term-damage-immune-system

mumatlast14 · 20/08/2024 00:22

OP you absolutely do not have to reveal your health conditions. Sounds like your school are rightly supportive and they need to shut this down.
Sounds like you have it in hand but for what it's worth not only is it wise to wear an FFP3 but also recommended by NHS as pregnancy classes you as vulnerable to covid and entitles you to a vaccine. Green Book also lists you as vulnerable.
www.nhs.uk/conditions/covid-19/how-to-avoid-catching-and-spreading-covid-19/
ukhsa.blog.gov.uk/2024/08/02/whos-eligible-for-the-2024-covid-19-vaccine-or-autumn-booster/
Frankly I would advise you wear your FFP3 for all of your pregnancy particularly as we head into winter and vaccine doesn't prevent you from catching covid, but hopefully reduces severity.
It's unfortunate that your classroom doesn't have windows to open but I hope they are using a True HEPA to clean the air within their system. Again lots of gov guidance to schools on this - ventilation, CO2 monitors & HEPAS.
www.gov.uk/guidance/using-co-monitors-and-air-cleaning-units-in-education-and-care-settings
Lots of evidence that with the correct air changes HEPAS remove covid from the air.
adc.bmj.com/content/108/Suppl_2/A98.1
Also look at Boots Dual Defence Nasal spray and mouthwashes containing CPC - studies show they help reduce/prevent viral load (obv check appropriate for pregnancy).
Sadly teachers have been hit hard with long covid, do all you can to protect your health.
oem.bmj.com/content/80/10/545

Remember your health is priority.
Best of luck.

TempestTost · 20/08/2024 00:07

Softdressesandblouses · 19/08/2024 16:26

Keep all your windows and door open in your classroom. Wear a proper, full protection mask when circulating the room and communicating with individual pupils. Do live-marking. Remove mask when teaching from the front. Use lots of non-verbal communication when explaining/setting up tasks.
SLT should not divulge your private health information to parents unless you consent. I would say keeping your health anxiety at a minimum is paramount and your employers should support this. Do you have a union rep at your school, should you need?
SLT could and should state their support of you in their communication with the parent and could suggest that the child is temporarily placed in an alternative group/teacher for the duration.

HTH op, and best of luck with your pregnancy :)

This is foolish advice.

Even if masking worked, as soon as she takes the mask off at the front of the room, she might as well forget the whole thing.

mumatlast14 · 19/08/2024 23:34

DinnaeFashYersel · 19/08/2024 14:12

Lots of people have given reasons why it's a problem. Hearing loss and ADHD being 2 examples.

Do you realise that's its still a bigger problem for the immunocompromised! They can't mount a vaccine response and covid could kill them?

Luio · 19/08/2024 19:53

AnotherAngryAcademic · 19/08/2024 13:48

@Luio ”I say this as someone who can’t help but feel slightly angry when I see someone in a mask”

Why on earth does the sight of someone wearing a mask make you angry? It has zero impact on you…

I am immunocompromised, so wear a mask when on public transport, in shops etc. I have been yelled at, spat at, and on the train home from a visit to say goodbye to a friend having end of life care in a hospice a man decided that my sitting on a train wearing a mask was a reason to physically attack me. It was terrifying. I was very lucky that two other men intervened and pulled the first man off me. His explanation? My mask “made him angry”.

Why is the sight of someone wearing a medical device, that has nothing to do with you, and has no impact on you, a source of anger?

Edited

Because they remind me of covid lockdowns. I would never take my anger out on anyone. I think everyone who wants to wear a mask should absolutely wear one, as I made very clear in my original post which was in support of OP wearing one.

User3456 · 19/08/2024 19:31

YANBU OP.

You're entitled to wear one, you have rights under the equality act and your employer needs to support you with this (you don't need to reveal your pregnancy).

I work with teenagers and wear an FFP2 mask in work all the time. Luckily no one has minded yet ( I just say I have health issues), but if they did mind I still wouldn't take it off.

Covid infection in pregnancy can be really dangerous for you and the baby (it can also be dangerous for young children). Literally teaching is just your job, it's not your whole life and isn't worth letting it impact your health or your baby's health for (potentially long term).

In addition to a mask you might want to look into a carageenan based antiviral nasal spray (eg boots dual defence is safe in pregnancy).

A HEPA filter in your classroom and good ventilation will also reduce the risk of everyone becoming ill. Check out clean air stars website for advice re: HEPA filters if that's something that might be affordable for you.

Congrats on your pregnancy and hope you get through it infection free!

Wishing you all the best 💐

StripyHorse · 19/08/2024 18:18

Itsjustmeheretoday · 19/08/2024 11:02

Agree with this and I notice myself now when I get sick, how a cold now will linger for so long. Others have commented on this too. A cold used to last a few days, now it's a few weeks

Covid is increasingly being linked to immune system damage - similar to Measles. It is this that is making colds last longer, not the few spells of lock down (or semi lockdown). Teachers, healthcare staff, emergency services, some manufacturing, energy workers, transport workers (and others) continued to go to work throughout the lockdown period - and they are also suffering from lingering colds etc.

PeloMom · 19/08/2024 18:12

Are you able to wear a see through mask? My kid’s speech therapist wears one so you can still see the mouth move etc.
where I am many people wear mask especially at the supermarket tills, pharmacists, more and more shoppers wear them too. At my kid’s school many teachers wear them as well

godmum56 · 19/08/2024 18:08

Softdressesandblouses · 19/08/2024 16:26

Keep all your windows and door open in your classroom. Wear a proper, full protection mask when circulating the room and communicating with individual pupils. Do live-marking. Remove mask when teaching from the front. Use lots of non-verbal communication when explaining/setting up tasks.
SLT should not divulge your private health information to parents unless you consent. I would say keeping your health anxiety at a minimum is paramount and your employers should support this. Do you have a union rep at your school, should you need?
SLT could and should state their support of you in their communication with the parent and could suggest that the child is temporarily placed in an alternative group/teacher for the duration.

HTH op, and best of luck with your pregnancy :)

How many times? THE WINDOWS DO NOT OPEN, THE BUILDING IS ON A CIRCULATING AIR SYSTEM.

kairi1 · 19/08/2024 17:38

OP I wish my daughter had such a wonderful example of someone who was taking illness seriously and putting their health ahead of peer pressure. Some of the posts on this thread have made me want to cry they are so ableist and lacking in care and compassion. And also completely medically ignorant. Don’t give in to them, please.

LuckySantangelo35 · 19/08/2024 17:25

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 15:59

I'm not sure that's true tbh.

@Werweisswohin

why?

especially give that she has the backing of the school.

She totally can do something that affects her and her only. It her body, her face. she can keep wearing her mask

CinnamonSwirlGirl · 19/08/2024 17:24

There are loads of scientific papers and studies showing the harm Covid does to your immunity and your body as a whole. There are none showing that it actively benefits you.

Although not a scientific paper, I think this article https://healthjournalism.org/blog/2022/12/why-using-the-term-immunity-debt-is-problematic-for-reporters/ is good at explaining what “immunity debt” actually refers to. It’s really easy to see how a few people have twisted things, and the public (understandably) are desperate to cling on to anything that tells them Covid isn’t a bad thing / they can carry on as they like without consequence.

Why using the term ‘immunity debt’ is problematic for reporters

Photo by Gustavo Fring via pexels.As the number of hospitalized children with influenza, RSV, COVID-19 and other infections continues to soar,…

https://healthjournalism.org/blog/2022/12/why-using-the-term-immunity-debt-is-problematic-for-reporters

thing47 · 19/08/2024 17:06

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 16:21

If OP thought she could just do what she liked then she wouldn't have spoken to her boss or asked us for opinions. 🫣

Fair enough. I had inferred from the OP that she had made her choice and the school understood it, not that there had necessarily been a prior discussion. But your interpretation is just as likely to be right as mine!

As for asking MN, though, she has made it quite clear that she is happy with her decision to wear a mask and won't be changing her mind. What she wanted opinions on was whether it was OK for the school to tell complaining parent the reasons for her wearing a mask. It absolutely is not OK to give out someone's private information unless they agree to it.

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 16:32

Mirandamermaid · 19/08/2024 16:29

It was @Mumoftwo1316 who suggested it, I simply thanked the comment.

Is thanking not agreeing with?
🫣
I'm past caring tbh.
I wish OP well.

Mirandamermaid · 19/08/2024 16:29

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 16:20

No, not exactly.
You suggested OP could do as she liked. She can't and seems fully aware of that fact.

It was @Mumoftwo1316 who suggested it, I simply thanked the comment.

Softdressesandblouses · 19/08/2024 16:26

Keep all your windows and door open in your classroom. Wear a proper, full protection mask when circulating the room and communicating with individual pupils. Do live-marking. Remove mask when teaching from the front. Use lots of non-verbal communication when explaining/setting up tasks.
SLT should not divulge your private health information to parents unless you consent. I would say keeping your health anxiety at a minimum is paramount and your employers should support this. Do you have a union rep at your school, should you need?
SLT could and should state their support of you in their communication with the parent and could suggest that the child is temporarily placed in an alternative group/teacher for the duration.

HTH op, and best of luck with your pregnancy :)

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 16:21

thing47 · 19/08/2024 16:15

Of course it is. There may be consequences to her chosen course of action, but in this case there won't be because the school have sided with her.

If OP thought she could just do what she liked then she wouldn't have spoken to her boss or asked us for opinions. 🫣

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 16:20

Mirandamermaid · 19/08/2024 16:13

Exactly. The OP wants to wear a mask and her employer is fine with that. No problem.

No, not exactly.
You suggested OP could do as she liked. She can't and seems fully aware of that fact.

thing47 · 19/08/2024 16:15

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 15:59

I'm not sure that's true tbh.

Of course it is. There may be consequences to her chosen course of action, but in this case there won't be because the school have sided with her.

Mirandamermaid · 19/08/2024 16:13

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 16:10

OP hasn't taken the attitude that she can do what she wants either though, she's spoken to her boss already and discussed this. No teacher can just do what they like, in many situations.

Exactly. The OP wants to wear a mask and her employer is fine with that. No problem.

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 16:10

Mirandamermaid · 19/08/2024 16:05

Well, it’s a mask or a teaching assistant covering her classes.

OP hasn't taken the attitude that she can do what she wants either though, she's spoken to her boss already and discussed this. No teacher can just do what they like, in many situations.

Growlybear83 · 19/08/2024 16:05

For the people whom are saying that the learning of students with autism would be impacted by the OP wearing a mask, she has already taken the needs of all her students into account. We're not talking about a primary school teacher who is with the same class of children every single day, but a subject specialist in a secondary school who presumably doesn't deliver more than about four lessons to any group of students in a week. I think that any issues which the mask may cause to a very small number of students is rather eclipsed by the benefits of the OP continuing to teach for the next few weeks until she gets her vaccinations. Bearing in mind she teaches a shortage subject, it is likely that it will be extremely difficult to find supply cover if she has to go off sick because she is browbeaten into not wearing her mask.